A Month of Wellness

Over the past several months, I’ve been tracking some positive habits forming in my life and this last month has been packed with wellness-rich activities to help propel me into excellent health and well-being. I also joined a wellness challenge at my work and offered to be one of the team captains, knowing that my experiences from life coaching would come in handy as I motivate a team of wellness warriors. 

Since the challenge began almost 3 weeks ago, I’ve had 3 massages, an acupuncture treatment (which I’ve actually been enjoying monthly for almost 8 years now), time on the inversion table with my naturopath, a new dry brushing practice every morning to activate and awaken my lymphatic system, plenty of cloud gazing and cloud photography, days of guilt-free rest (or at least aspiring to be guilt-free), 3 epsom salt baths, 2 barefoot walks on the beach, discovering foam rolling for stretching, salsa dancing with my handsome husband, reducing my gluten, refined sugar, soy, and caffeine intake, eating more dark leafy greens, collaging, art walking, picking blackberries, meditating every morning (with the inspiration of the Oprah and Deepak 21-Day Meditation coinciding perfectly with the start of my workplace wellness challenge), 7 neighborhood walks with my hubby, and several gatherings with good friends. 

You see, wellness is so vast; it can encapsulate virtually anything that brings you joy, makes you smile, helps you breathe more deeply, and makes you WELL.

Seeing the Signs and Always Looking Up

I'm seeing signs everyday lately. Signs in the sky, signs in nature, signs in birds and rabbits not being scared when I admire their beauty, signs of a feather, signs from the angels.

I believe that our loved ones who have transitioned from this Earth in the physical form are always with us in the spiritual form. And one of the ways they can communicate with us is through signs. I have felt a deep connection with nature since I was a little girl, but I think the first sign I can remember after a loved one passed was a beautiful rainbow I saw shortly after my grandma's husband transitioned. Then I saw a precious little hummingbird outside my apartment in the middle of November right before a snowfall after my dear friend, Jill passed. A day before my grandma transitioned, Geovanny and I saw the most amazing night sky from our apartment. It was brighter and clearer than we had ever seen it from the city. We even discovered miniature constellations we hadn't ever seen before. In the middle of the night after my grandma passed, we discovered the only light in our apartment was coming from the angel atop our Christmas tree. And as I mentioned in my previous post from yesterday, two weeks ago, several days before my wonderful friend, Autumn became an angel, I saw a giant angel wing in the sky.



Then the day after she passed I saw a complete angel with two wings lit up with pink and purple from the setting sun.

And since then, the floodgates have been opened. I've seen hearts in the sky, more angel clouds, dragonflies fluttering by me as I walk, an orange butterfly flying right past my car window, a mini rainbow with what looked like a dolphin cloud (and some saw a heart as well), a beautiful feather cloud, angel wings in the form of rays from the sun, a chorus of angel clouds as I sat on my friend, Jill's commemorative bench overlooking the water, a hummingbird cloud from the same site, rays of light shooting up from the setting sun as if we were in Heaven. 

And then this afternoon after a pretty busy and stressful day at work, as I walked by some beautiful gardens on my way to my car, I heard the beloved and familiar clicking sound made from beautiful little hummingbirds, so as I always do since Jill's passing four and a half years ago, I stopped and tried to spot the divine creature. To my surprise, there were two hummingbirds frolicking together by some gorgeous red flowers and they seemed unafraid of my presence. So unafraid that they flew right by me in one of their frolics. Needless to say I was mesmerized. Then one of them perched on a branch and proceeded to rest and commune with me for over 20 minutes. At times, she would fly nearby to snack on some of the yummy pollen nearby but mainly she stayed on the branch communing with me. I even got out my camera phone, which didn't phase the birdie one bit, and tried to capture some of the magic of this wonderful gift, this blessing, this moment with Spirit.



But that's not all. I am training to walk a half marathon in a few months with my coaching buddies from Seattle Life Coach Training, and I decided to walk 5 miles this evening. I walked almost a mile and saw some pretty red flowers, different from earlier, but my intuition told me that hummingbirds would like this kind too, and sure enough, there was another little hummingbird, this one littler and fuzzier who just sat on a branch near me and didn't fly away. I was able to get out my camera phone as well and capture this sweet spirit. 

This was only a 5 or so minute encounter, but it really reaffirmed to me that the hummingbird is indeed a gift from Spirit. And that at the very least three of my special angels, Jill, my grandma and Autumn were with me today. Three distinct hummingbirds, all unafraid of me and willing to commune with me for a bit. The hummingbird is said to be the messenger of joy. To lift our spirits. I feel very blessed to be witness to these many signs that my friends and family who have passed on are doing beautifully in a different realm, in the spiritual world, in Heaven. And I'm blessed to have them in my life and to have my spirits lifted by their amazing signs.

Choosing to See the Blessings

It's been almost a month since I last officially blogged but writing is almost a part of my being, a second nature for reflecting and digesting the joys and sorrows of life. I have had both this past month. My dear friend, Autumn became an angel a little over a week ago after battling stomach cancer. And yesterday I completed my 125 hour transformational life coach certification. Sorrow and joy. Joy and sorrow. The ebb and flow of life. The high and low tides of the sea. The darkness and light. Ying and yang are not fanciful, they are reality. And one of the most powerful take-aways from my life coach training--although there are so many nuggets--is learning to ride the waves and be grateful for even the low points, for it is then when we can take time to refuel and reignite our flame, our inspiration, and through that regain momentum to move forward in the direction of our dreams. The road to our dreams is beautiful with all its curves, twists and turns, ups and downs, and essentially it is life. So why not make the most of it? Why not reframe it into something positive? I am thankful for my momma who has always taught me through her example to reframe. When I would say I have to do something, she would always rephrase it as I get to do something. It's subtle but so powerful. A slight shift in the way we view our lives can make a huge difference. It can bring us up from the low points so that we can open our wings again and soar. I know life isn't all about soaring. We must be grounded as well. And what a perfect time to practice grounding when you're down low! But it is always equally essential to feel grounded and in our centers when we are soaring so that we can really feel every feeling and be conscious of the amazingness of our current situation. To feel everything fully is one of the greatest challenges and blessings in life.

I haven't had as much time as I wanted to really truly grieve my friend's passing this past week, but throughout each day, I see signs. They are everywhere. Beautiful angel clouds. Hearts in the sky. Little rainbows. Dragonflies. Butterflies. Birds. Pennies. Feelings of love and reverence when I look up at the sky. These signs bring so much comfort and I can't help but feel blessed to have such a wonderful friend. I know our friendship continues into the afterlife. And I am so grateful for all the signs. For being mindful and aware and even capturing many of the signs with my camera. For the angel clouds bring comfort and hope to all who love her. Thank you, Autumn, for lighting up my life while you were on Earth and now that you're in Heaven. You are truly LOVE.

In sweet honor of Autumn Knopp Stockwell

Adventures in Vision Boarding

I'm a boarder. A vision boarder, that is. I have been creating inspirational collages on a regular basis for over a year now and it has brought me great joy. I have led several collage sessions with friends and in the workplace and loved it. I loved inspiring others to express their dreams through art and enjoy the relaxation that comes with creating. And I have witnessed the power of making my intentions reality through putting them out there for the Universe to see through my own collages.

About a year ago, I started a vision collage book and have been adding to it little by little whenever inspiration finds me or when I want to invoke more inspiration and creativity in me. When I may have gotten so busy I forgot to express myself artistically. This is a wonderful outlet and has also shown me how vision boards come from deep within. It is almost like the scraps of colorful paper and the words and phrases flow from a higher space, and I get in the groove and time flies by as I create and create.

I thought it would be neat to read over my past collages and write out the messages formed in them, almost like poetry scrapped together by phrases and words that I was drawn to as I collaged. My inspirations are numerous and vary from free pamphlets and flyers to used and donated magazines of all shapes and sizes to my life coaching class lessons. One of my favorite magazines to use when I collage is the Oprah magazine though. 

Here are the wise words I've used to live by and form intentions from on the collages I created this past year:

Milagro, encuentrame ahora!

(Miracle, find me now!)

Cup of Grace, like a diamond:

Art / energy / play / feeling good / calling / bliss / patient / transcendence / way of life / Renaissance / happiness / savoring / deliciousness / peaceful / paradise / freedom / heart / thanks / true love / ideas / journey / abundance / joy 

Oh, beautiful life!

Conjuring a world of endless possibilities,

Defying boundaries.

Taking a leap.

Restore / Replenish / Refresh

Live your best

Find your balance.

Let go >>>>

What makes it awesome 

I imagined myself becoming a woman who was valued for the love she shared.

Passionate

Vigilant

Courageous

Bold

Resourceful

Driven

Fearless

Unstoppable 

Live like a yogi.

Made for my life

Sacred

Beauty

Special 

Soulful and heartwarming 

Breathing space

I say yes to joy 

Opportunity 

Goodness 

Uncork your inner artist

Share your joy ~ 

Life is better when viewed from the top.

~Kerry Boone

Start...

Celebrate life -

For life is a beautiful, fanciful thing.

...Finish

Do you ever feel like you're growing?

Beauty starts on the inside.

Make one simple change 

Love your willpower 

Best life now 

Here's to your health 

Warrior 

Move a little,

Live a lot

What's not to love?

Reach

Bursting with Life

Worth sharing 

Amazing gift 

Beauty 

Find your balance.

Whole body

M'm! M'm! Good!

Beautiful breakthroughs

Joy. Pride. Confidence.

Focus on the positive.

Just simple choices.

Life lessons 

There are no real rules. (Seriously, anything goes.)

Illuminate 

Do more of what you love.

Life your best life 

Inspiration / motivation / celebration 

Your body is a temple 

My healthy life 

I am

Fearless 

Purpose 

Compassion / respect / excellence / collaboration / accountability 

Vision 

Community 

Values 

Mission 

Keeping promises 

"I'm always working towards a balance in life."

~Alicia Silverstone

Awaken 

Inspire 

Feel good / live simply / laugh more 

Celebrating the Divine in all

Hello cozy

Delight

Crisp fall days 

The cozy coat - go full-on cozy...

Cozy-on-cozy is surprisingly chic.

My mantra

Changing the world

Creating art

Spark 

Mind - Body - Spirit

Experience it!

Something fun for everyone!

Creating adventure 

Inspire their passions.

Light up a life...

Shine on

Live your best LIFE

In every way. Every day.

Bright ideas

For awakening opportunity

Prosperity and peace.

Feel the love

Grandiosa

Aloha

Life is a special occasion.

Flowing 

Heart 

If you could change anything 

Share your story 

Build up the excitement.

What are your goals?

Focus on bliss

Inner balance ~ Outer beauty 

Bounce back 

Inspired hope 

Your guiding gift of faith is a blessing 

Serenity

Lift your spirits!

I say YES! to unexpected Miracles!

Joys!

Love!

Money!

And more!

(Mantra from Richard Seaman of Seattle Life Coach Training) 

Yes!

Art + Play

Love 

Smile 

All you need is Love

Surrounded by artists at play 

Music 

Keep a poem in your pocket 

Celebrate 

Home 

Discover artist / author within 

Keep calm and

At the heart of your creativity,

Embrace your strength 

Take your real love,

A miracle of diamonds 

To paradise 

Cocooned in coconut 

& Mangos

Like joy feels 

Hello, Sunshine!

Breathe breathe

Love

Journey to greater health 

Enjoy 

Well rested 

Making poetry

Refresque su vida!

Let your health shine 

Connect with nature, 

Nurture your creativity.

Just say Yes!

Find your signature strength 

Developing 

Confident 

Trust

Amaze your confidence 

Believe / love / imagine

Celebrating the power of expression 

Whatever your story you're the boss of you!

Make waves

Reclaim your life

For calm

Blessings are all around us.

Add some SPARKLE to your 

Matters of the Heart 

The Meaning of Life

Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.

~Mary Oliver, "Sometimes"

Dream

How to make your goals reality - for good! 

(Inspiration)

Grow!

Miracles

A hug a day

How does inspired creativity express itself through you? 

Meditations in Falling Off the Goal Wagon

A great deal of my thoughts, frustrations and energy have been dedicated throughout my life to feeling bad for falling off the “wagon.” I think I sometimes envision this wagon being a caravan filled with my hopes and dreams carrying me swiftly to my goal. So when I fall off of it and lose my way, stop doing the things I’ve committed to doing or not do them in the time frame I originally set up, I tend to feel really down. At least at first.  

Other times I start an “I don’t care” campaign in response to my falling off and apathy clouds my normally optimistic and hopeful disposition. In a way, this defiance can be an act of self-love, giving myself permission to give up the time-frame constraints I had originally imposed upon myself and allowing myself to be free and embrace a more impromptu way of living.  

I’ve struggled with these dueling ideas—plan, plan, plan for success and reaching my goals versus let it go, relax, don’t worry, I don’t care. But just now as I type this, another idea popped into my head. What if I stop struggling against my innate nature of planning and relaxing, and fully embrace these seemingly opposite traits to take a more positive stance? Could this taming of the duel inside be the key to peace? Isn’t the idea of envisioning our dreams and then releasing them the very basis for the famous Law of Attraction?  

Could there be a hidden nugget in my angst that I haven’t yet been accessing? I think so. And I’m intrigued. As an action-oriented planner and dreamer, this delights me that in my “laziness” I may have actually been cultivating something of value after all. Maybe all the time when I could have been “productive” and instead gave myself time to rest and “veg” on the couch or on Facebook was actually exactly what I needed to move forward.

Rest is required when on a journey. And setting out to reach our goals and dreams is quite a journey. So of course we need rest! In seeing my resting time as essential and valuable, I then give myself permission to take my sweet time, enjoy the view, reflect…or not, be human, and to gather my strength for the next lag of this incredible journey we call life. 

"You are on the path... exactly where you are meant to be right now... And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love." —Caroline Adams

Free Spirited (Recovering) Perfectionist

Well, let's just put it out there. I'm a free spirited "recovering" perfectionist. Until recently, I didn't quite grasp how I could be both. In my wellness research over the past few years, I've grown fond of a type of astrology that combines psychology, called esoteric astrology, I think. (My favorite being Debra Silverman.) And just in the past week, I decided to stop wondering and actually download a free birth chart app to dive more deeply into my self-awareness. Because I believe there is great value in exploring our personalities and unique traits. And astrology is another way to learn about myself. I already know who I am and how I am, but it can be very comforting to finally find a description that actually puts into words how I've been experiencing life but not known how to express into words. (Sometimes it's through images too.)

Just yesterday, a friend asked me what my "rising" sign was, and a few weeks ago, I don't think I even knew what that was. But thanks to reading my free birth chart on my phone last week, a somewhat mind blowing factoid came into my awareness. I may be a Pisces and have five planets in water, which I'd been told several years ago on my favorite radio station, but my rising sign is Virgo. And that's where the "aha" lies. A watery, emotional, super sensitive Pisces with perfectionistic & worrywart tendencies. That's me: a Pisces with Virgo rising.

Now I know you may have stopped reading at this point because who believes in astrology, but this aha has really got me thinking in a way the Myers-Briggs, True Colors and other helpful assessment tests just couldn't quite explain for me. The complexity. The dueling traits. The inner struggle. Now I have a name to describe it!

And today I decided to google it--Pisces with Virgo rising--to see what I'd find, and bam! More clarity. It was almost painfully clear. Words like "doormat" and "cave in" and "sell themselves down the river" really stung. But it's been true. I am proud to say that I've grown an awareness of these stinging identifiers through experience though, and thankfully through awareness comes power and strength. The article goes on to explain that if these special souls can learn to harness their Virgo intellect and Piscean imagination  and value themselves as much as they value others, the sky is really the limit.

And of course, the topic returns to self-love, because lately that's what's been truly calling me. For myself. And to help others through workshops and coaching. I know I'm on the right path for me. Right for me, right for doing my part to heal the world. Hallelujah! And so it is!

To be continued...

(View from my blogging spot tonight)

Permission to Goof Off

I had an epiphany just now. For several years now, I have been feeling somewhat dissatisfied or maybe even guilty when I goof off, "waste time" or am not as productive as I had planned or hoped I'd be. Today though, in looking at my self-irritation, I want to give myself permission to goof off. Because in "goofing off," creativity is born. Rest is recovered. And I answer my soul's occasional calling. I'm going to be really honest here: I long to goof off! I am a self-identified recovering perfectionist, but I still strive to do my best almost always and I am a determined overachiever.

I am becoming aware of this though. And through awareness, I'm finding permission. I do not have to get everything done tonight. I do not have to get everything done even this week. Life is a continual process. Am I going to win a prize for rushing through life? For not taking time to do what I really want and goof off? Isn't the prize found in taking time for ourselves? Doing what really enjoy and having fun? So why not give myself the gift of some downtime? Okay, but let's be clear. For some reason, I can more easily give myself permission to dedicate an evening to "downtime," but when it involves totally scattered internet time, accompanied by more random dabblings with various projects, not to finish anything of "value," I have a harder time considering it downtime. Downtime has meant laying back and resting, maybe reading something, watching a funny TV show, taking a nap, talking with my husband. But being random hasn't really fallen into that category.

I've been resisting my randomness. I've tried to "fix" it or change it. But let's be honest here: I am naturally a random-abstract person and it's when my creativity shines. Society and my drive to always do my best has taught me to strive for some sort of order, but maybe I'm looking for the wrong thing. Is society's version of order what really makes the most sense to me? If goofing off brings me creative inspiration, isn't there some kind of unique order there somewhere? I know it's not your typical kind, but I get things done when I'm in the flow. And is life all about getting things done, or can we also just sit back and enjoy? Have fun? Goof off? Not be "productive"? Who is the judge of our productivity?

But to think of it, I have been dueling with myself over this for some time now. My goofing off has won over many times but not without leaving me feeling anxious or like I'm somehow failing, not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Who makes these rules though? Why can't I recreate the definition for success? Why can't I recreate how I view my time?

Last month in my life coaching class, our amazing instructor, Richard Seaman talked about the importance of balancing doing with being. And I crave just "being." But I also have a drive for "doing" and achieving and being productive, checking things off my list. It's almost like I reward myself for getting things "done," but do I reward myself equally when I just am? When I gift myself the dedicated time to "be"?

I challenge myself to consider this gift to myself now. Because I am, at my core, worthy of all the love in the world, whether I check the things off on my to-do list, or not. I am worthy of all the love in the world just because I am. Nothing is required. It's that simple, and yet that complicated to believe, embody, and live this truth. But I am up for the challenge. It almost feels like when I first started meditating. It felt like such a struggle to just sit and close my eyes at first, but now I long for it. I long for the peace it brings me. For the delicious silence it invokes.

So will you join me in forming a habit of just "being"?

Nothing needs to be "done" about it. Just be you. And embrace your amazing, incredible self with all your heart!

xo

Just Write...and Dream!

I gotta just write. As the month comes to a close today, and I realize I've only posted one blog this month, I want to maintain my commitment to at least post twice per month, until I get back into my more regular weekly habit again. I've been giving myself a free pass for the last 6 or so months, but there is just so much value for me in writing. When I take the time to reflect and put my life lessons into words, the act of processing and sharing releases tension and brings me greater peace.

This past weekend I completed my 60th hour of transformational life coach training at SLCT, and boy has it been transformational for me so far! In some ways the inner transformation happening in me has been subtle--I feel calmer overall, I pause more, I radiate peace more often. In other ways, I'm living out my dreams--when I look back at the vision board I created almost 2 years ago, several months before I began to regularly post blogs here, so many of the concepts I dreamed of are mine now. They are a part of me. They are second nature. And that feels wonderful. I hadn't really had a chance to really look at my dreams this way and see the progress I've already made on manifesting my dreams until I began my life coach training course 3 months ago.

I'm now practicing coaching technologies or tools that invoke and inspire so many of the concepts I included on my board. More than embodying these concepts of wellness, peace, grace, balance, I'm sharing them with others, and that truly feels like a gift. The time flies by when I practice and then I get to enjoy the after effects of flow and being present in the moment to help effect positive awareness and change in someone's life. I get to inspire others to dream. I get to give them permission to dream. I get to shine light on their brilliance and encourage, encourage, encourage. And with enCOURAGEment comes courage. As Brené Brown writes, the word "courage" comes from the Latin word "cor" meaning heart. I am so blessed to get to connect with the heart of others. And help them see they can connect with their own hearts for guidance, support, and love. It is always available to us. That is the most beautiful thing.

In one of the exercises we learned last weekend, we worked on creating a mission statement for our lives. In mine, I included putting myself first more often and I had to list several actions to demonstrate this, like: going to the spa, taking nature walks, resting before fulfilling others' needs, soaking in the bathtub, making my gym dance or yoga class a priority, cooking healthy organic meals, committing to finishing my art journaling e-course, and overall taking my time and loving more fully. In this, I'm also going to add making regular creative reflection time, like right now as I write this blog before continuing with my day. It is so very important to put ourselves first, so that we can fill ourselves up, feel the joy of being full of self-love, and then be able to give more to others in return. To give more authentically and genuinely to others, because we have done so for ourselves. That is my mission.

"Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we'll ever do."
~Brene Brown

(My new dream/vision board!)

I Welcome Big Miracles Here and Now!

I'm tired of the thought pattern we're ingrained with about not deserving something horrible that happens to us or "deserving more." It's not a question of deserving. I don't believe anyone deserves pain or suffering. So when I hear myself asking why or how someone could deserve such an awful thing to happen to them, I need to stop and become aware that that thought doesn't serve me or anyone. Does that thought lift me up? Does it bring joy? Does it help anyone? No. It's not a question of asking why. I'm not even sure it's a question.

My dear friend, Jill, was so vibrant and joyous, so loving and with so much to share and teach others, so very full of life--the complete opposite of fatal brain cancer. It's incomprehensible that my buen amigo, Christian, whose laughter made everyone feel joyful around him, could die of stomach cancer in less than six short months. And my wonderful, devoted, fun-loving mom lost her own dear parents at the tender age of 16, was then cheated on and left with a rundown house and 5-year-old daughter to raise, and now has been put through such horrible suffering from a brain bleed last August, which is thought to have originated at the time of the car accident which killed her parents.

How do we make sense of these events? Or do we even try? What good comes to us or anyone when we struggle to "make sense" of incomprehensible suffering? I think the true answer lies in getting out of our heads and sinking into our bodies and opening up our hearts to find peace in our souls with what's happened. To cultivate faith continually through centering ourselves to the earth and giving thanks for even the simplest beauty we have been graced to witness during this life--the full moon, the blooming daffodils, the green grass, the giant all-knowing redwoods, ripe sweet fruit, purring kittens, and as Julie Andrews would sing, "raindrops on roses," to name just a few.

When we can get back into our bodies and out of our analyzing heads, I believe then we will begin to feel greater peace. It might not answer our mind's nagging questions, but it will bring openness back to our hearts and hopefully with practice through that openness, a growing connection to our souls where we can trust in a greater knowing, from within, from God, from the Universe, from our ancestors, from the angels, from the Divine, from positivity, from altruism, from your God of understanding, from your spiritual practice. Opening our hearts, when all we want to do is hunker down and close up shop, is in and of itself a daily spiritual practice that develops and tones our trust muscles. And the key ingredient is self-compassion. Gently returning to this practice when we go astray and not judging ourselves or others when this happens.

I welcome big miracles here and now!

Miracles Are Welcome Here

Mini-miracles happen all the time when we acknowledge them.

This last weekend I had my second coaching retreat and part of our homework for this next month was to record our unexpected miracles. And in less than 24 hours, I've already experienced several! Starting with last night as I was doubting if I could even make it to my first day at my new job because I had such a horrible, pounding headache, when miraculously this morning the headache was gone and I felt well enough to go to my new job! 

Then the second miracle was revealed. For the past several weeks I have been imagining a beautiful forest view from a nice big window in my new office space. And lo and behold, when I arrived at my workspace this morning, there it was! The same view I'd envisioned! And I didn't feel surprised, I felt confident somehow. Maybe I am psychic...or maybe I'm getting good at manifesting. I'm happy and grateful either way.