Fun is in the Eye of the Beholder

Fun is in the eye of the beholder...

Could it be possible that having fun is all about perspective? 

I've been writing "have more fun" on my calendar each week for several months now and when I look back sometimes I think I did have some fun and other times I think "meh, I need to have more fun." "I need to let loose more." Or do I? If letting loose is fun to you, then yes. But if letting loose causes anxiety and makes you feel uncomfortable, then probably not. I don't know which it is for me. I think it depends on the moment. 

The life of an extroverted introvert is complex. We like having fun with others but we also enjoy having alone time. And if there's not a good balance of both, we're not a lot of fun to be around, in all honesty. At least in my experience I can get really grumpy if I feel overstimulated by too much interaction and don't have enough alone time. And the reverse is the case as well. I can get pretty grumpy with too much alone time too. 

I've been hearing a lot about functional medicine lately though and I think there might be an underlying cause to this grumpiness. (And it might not have as much to do with being extraverted or introverted as I think.) My gut instinct says it's more about worthiness. And a cultural belief possibly that as adults we're not supposed to have that much fun. "Grow up" and "be serious," "act mature," "don't be such a baby" are just some of the phrases that we hear pretty often. But aren't we losing the joy factor released when having fun, the fun that we had when we were kids, the joyous, creative, open-minded type of fun? 

Why is so much emphasis put on acting like an adult in this culture? Is working too many hours and feeling stressed out all the time really an ideal that we want to follow? 

Yes, we have more responsibilities as adults but do we really have to confront all of those responsibilities with grumpy, stressed-out, "mature" behavior? And what's so "mature" about feeling stressed out all the time anyway? Wouldn't it actually be more mature to be resilient and bounce back from day-to-day adult stressors through having more fun and creative time? Aren't we all worthy of that?

What does "to have fun" really actually mean?

As I've learned from Brené Brown, knowing the definition of the terms we regularly use can really shed greater light and increase our awareness of how we use these terms and ideals in our lives.

The Webster dictionary says that the word "fun" means "the feeling of being amused or entertained" or "something that is amusing or enjoyable : an enjoyable experience."

What do you find enjoyable? What does "having fun" mean to you?

For me, it can be a wide variety of things. I have fun creating art, taking pictures, writing, cloud watching, dancing, walking, laughing, telling stories with friends, listening to lively or beautiful music, traveling to a new place, sometimes cooking. :) 

Do you think some mundane things in life can be converted into an enjoyable experience or a fun time?

If I have taken the time to fill my self-love and worthiness cup up with beautiful affirmations, breathing exercises, creative expression, friendly connection, and love, then yes, I think it's possible. 

But if that cup is running low, the grumpy factor swoops in more quickly and even normally fun activities can feel like a drag. It's all about perspective, awareness, attitude, and self-love, huh?

Honoring Our Angels By Sprinkling More Life into our Days

On Day of the Dead or All Saint's Day, I have my loved ones in mind who are now angels. It's comforting in a way to imagine all my angels watching out for me. But I do miss their earthly presence. Their legacies of living life to the fullest live on though and their memory reminds me to have more fun. A few weeks ago, I wrote a letter to myself about this exact subject. It keeps coming up. I think as adults we sometimes get very "adulty" and forget that having fun is equally--if not more important than getting all the "adulty" things done in our lives. Here's my letter:

Dear Self,

Your job now is to focus on relaxation and sprinkling more fun into everyday. Life is much too precious to go day by day only working and not relaxing or having fun while doing so. Life is about adjusting the lens we use to look at what’s going on and responding differently as our awareness grows and we see the sheer beauty that is available to us if only we look for it. There are little things that we can do everyday to relax more and sprinkle more fun atop our day-to-day duties and activities and routines.

• Create a calendar of all the fun things you do

• Track your gratitude daily for the simple joys in life

• Schedule time every week just for you and dedicate some time to what delights you

• Slow down and breathe, savor the moment when you can, especially when you become aware that you’ve been holding your breath or running around not really living this beautiful life

• Step back to enjoy the view better and see the bigger picture for perspective
• Pace yourself, especially when busy

In sprinkling these seemingly simple yet fun activities into our lives on a daily or even bi-weekly basis, we honor our loved ones' lives by living our lives more fully and having fun while doing so.

(This is my fun costume from Halloween this year. I was a travel bug. :-) It was really hard not to have fun while wearing this!)