Soften to Pain

This past week I was reminded to soften when faced with pain and discomfort. I did not feel my best, I have to admit, but my symptoms are much, much better now than two years ago when the Nutcracker Syndrome first roared its painful head. In moments of experiencing pain last week, I remembered an important tip I heard in yoga to soften my face. This is a phrase I have heard when holding the downward dog pose, because it can be very easy to hold your breath or clench your teeth in this position. Normally I squeeze my face into a big grimace when I feel pain too, as many of us probably do, and I unintentionally tighten most of the other muscles in my body as well.

But when I remembered this tip and tried focusing on softening my face this past weekend, I found it very difficult to keep the grimace and I began to relax more in the moment. Relaxing in the moment and embracing the pain provided me with some relief, for which I am very grateful. Once I could relax a little, I could think more calmly and clearly and be more proactive or distract myself from the fiery sensations I was experiencing.

I have read about embracing one's pain from Pema Chodron and in other Buddhist writing, but I didn't quite know how to actually go about doing this until now. The idea of literally softening all the muscles in our face and forehead when in pain is fairly easy to try and practice, is something we have some control of and is a very practical remedy to the stress that pain can cause us. 

I have found in the past two years that my pain has been greatest when I am most stressed out, so I find the idea of softening and relaxing quite refreshing, compared to my automatic response of tightening, resisting what's happening to me and stressing about what is going on in my body to cause all this pain. That way of thinking doesn't help relieve the pain; it only exacerbates it. It feels almost counterintuitive at first, but it is so valuable to remind yourself of this in a painful moment. I think this practice could be applied to emotionally painful moments as well, although I haven't tried it in that way specifically yet. Please keep me posted if it works for you!

All it took for me was one little phrase and listening to my inner wisdom in that moment to bring me a glimmer of relief in a painful situation. I hope this post brings at least one person the same relief I experienced.

Little Things Matter

I decided to combine my photography of today's amazing sunset with my love of affirmations and so I created a blollage (I made that word up to combine blog and collage!) for my blog post this week.  I also had fun making this blollage so my Fun-A-Day challenge #21 has been fulfilled as well.

I have really found in the past 3 weeks that doing little things everyday makes a BIG difference.  I have realized this in just adding simple things like meditating/praying every morning, creating something for Fun-A-Day everyday, usually in the evening, and writing in my gratitude journal every night before bed.

I start the day out with strength, am able to express myself creatively through Fun-A-Day, and end the day remembering what I'm grateful for.  It's the best way to get through any day--whether it be an easy one or a challenging one.  And after 21 days, I find myself craving these activities so I can say now that more than just a habit has been formed, a new way of living and thriving has been created.  Getting through your day struggling to come up for air is merely surviving, but paying tribute, creating and feeling gratitude are all things on the beautiful, golden or rainbow-colored road of thrival.  I most definitely prefer to thrive than just survive.

I feel so much more alive in my heart and soul when I'm creating and feeling grateful, rather than just going through the day "getting by."  Getting by doesn't fulfill me.  I know this now.  And if I let myself go too long just getting by, my mind and body start to rebel.  So it's just like flossing or eating your vegetables everyday, meditating and creating and feeling grateful are necessary steps to take for my overall health. Like doctor's orders, but in this case, I made the rules; I'm the doctor; I'm the master of my own future and so I'm choosing to take part in joyous activities whenever it's possible.  Some days it's only been a few minutes posting a quick photo I took to achieve my Fun-A-Day but other days I have enough time to go on a nature walk and really look at all that I've created and choose which one I would like to share with you.

So no matter how little time we have to work on the things that bring us joy, the most important thing is to keep doing them, every day, so that we crave them and they become as common to us as driving to work or eating lunch or brushing our teeth.  That is my hope.  To make joy a regular part of my day, every day.

EnJOY Life: How to Make Sure My Life is JoyFULL

This morning I wrote ENJOY LIFE on the inside of my palm to remind myself throughout the day to choose joy, over fear or stress or nerves or anxious thoughts.  I think this new year's focus for me is JOY, creating a space for it, choosing it and maintaining it, no matter what.  The Fun-A-Day challenge has definitely helped open the waves of creative energy and expression for me and I am in the process of creating an excellent daily outlet for my creativity now.  But something is still getting in the way sometimes of my joy.  What is it?  So I dived in and explored my inner self to see what I could find out and how I could bring more joy into all aspects of my life.

I discovered darkness in the form of fear that has been gurgling around and partially clouding my joy at times.  In order to move through these difficult feelings, I need to own them and communicate more openly about them.  Instead of braving these grizzly bears all alone, why not share what I’m feeling anxious about with trusted loved ones, like my husband, my mom and my best amigas.  For example, I've been feeling anxious lately about my car and having to take it into the dealership to find out how much more life it has left.  I am very proud of this car, I purchased it all on my own and it was quite a struggle to find, so I want to be able to enjoy it for as long as possible, and enjoy not making car payments for as long as possible.  As a result, I haven't called the dealership yet to make an appointment.  I don’t want to receive bad news.  I’m scared of what they might say.  So instead of continuing to beat myself up about not calling yet, I talked with my husband, who already knows how I feel about this car, and we are going to go together this weekend. An easy solution once I decided to take action and communicate what I was afraid of.

I’ve also been procrastinating about calling and making some routine yet necessary doctor's appointments.  Why?  After reflecting on this a little, I realized that it is probably because of all the trauma from my surgeries in 2012.  I’m still scared of what they might say or of being misunderstood.  The after effects of a traumatic health crisis like that last much longer than the actual physical wounds.  I think this is what has been holding me back from making a few simple phone calls.  Now that I am aware of this, what has been holding me back, I hope I will be able to move forward and make these appointments finally.

What about my resistance to going through the boxes in our bedroom?  I know in part, it’s because I don’t know where I’ll put the things that I want to keep from the boxes. But that shouldn’t be stopping me from going through and throwing out, recycling, and/or donating the rest!  I can easily put what I want to keep back in the box and condense it all into one box even. Now there’s a solution!

Any other parts of my life that I feel resistance?  Well, I know the gym membership is way more complicated than just not wanting to fork over the money to buy a 2-year membership from Costco. Instead, it has everything to do with my last gym experience a year ago when I tried 20 minutes of zumba and was in pain in bed for the whole rest of the day. I LOVE zumba. It hurt my ego and pride and soul to not be able to do it. But now a WHOLE year has passed and I am stronger and ready to give it a try again. I can do it. I can dance now! The jumping may hurt, at first, but I can just bend my knees until I get the rhythm of it back again and until I feel more comfortable and don’t feel pain as a result. I can adapt my dancing to avoid the painful aftermath. It shouldn’t stop me from dancing all together. It’s been a full year and almost a month since my wound healed completely. I can do this!

So as we approach the midway point of the first month of this new year, it’s a good time to examine what has been holding us back from doing the things we hope to do.  Why aren’t we doing them already?  What’s stopping us?  Sometimes it’s as simple--and as complex--as fear.  But once we can own that fear and name it and share it with someone, we can then move through it and experience what’s on the other side, which is JOY.

I’m left with a song that has been repeating in my head all day from the Seattle Unity Church.

Joy, joy, joy

I’ve still got joy

Joy, joy, joy

I’ve still got joy

Joy, joy, joy

I’ve still got joy

After all I’ve been through

I’ve still got JOY!

A Daily Dose of Creativity

"I am so creative. I am actively creative on a daily basis in thought, word and action. It is easy for me to create and share my creations with the world." ~SARK

I just read this on one of my favorite, ultra-inspiring author's weekly newsletters and it is precisely about what I'd like to write about this week: creativity.

SARK, also known as Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy goes on to ask how much the above statement is true for each of us. I am happy to report that after 7 consecutive days of daily acts of creativity by participating in the Fun-A-Day challenge, I agree wholeheartedly with the quote above! And this makes me happy, fills me with creative flow and light, inspires me to be a more positive person, and makes my soul purr. 

If anyone reading this is looking for a way to feel more connected and begin a habit of creativity, Fun-A-Day is the way! By creating something each day, no matter how grand or small, in the month of January (or any month or 31-day period would work) and keeping track of your creations to display in a community art show (and/or online if you'd prefer) at the end of the month, we can become hooked on creative expression and form a positive habit of making time for ourselves each day to express ourselves creatively in any way we'd like. It gives you a sense of control because you are in charge of your own projects and a great sense of accomplishment when you see all you've created--for me even after only a week! 

I also decided to post my daily creativity on this blog, as a way to share and inspire and as a way to hold myself accountable because I know some friends may be waiting to see what I'll create next, so I don't want to let them or myself down. It's such a positive and fun way to practice habit forming and keeping. Before or while taking on a big, new habit, like many of us do at the beginning of each new year, wouldn't being creative each day and sharing what you've created with others be a fun way to prep your mind and discipline muscles in order to stick to what you've set out to accomplish and complete in one month's time?

If you decide to take part in your own Fun-A-Day challenge, I'd love to hear and see what you come up with. :) Sharing within your community, whether it be a virtual one or your actual neighborhood or workplace, is another excellent way to help you stick to your goals, inspire others in the process, and get much-needed support from others as well.

Here is a collage of my first 7 days of Daily Creativity, a potpourri of different ways to express myself, but there are no rules to creativity so the sky's the limit! Most important, have fun and relish in the feeling that expressing your creativity brings.  By the way, today's Fun-A-Day for me IS this blog post. ;-)