Learning To Laugh At Myself

I just attended a great class near my home by a laughologist named Donna Oiland.  Isn’t that a cool title?!  She was trained through The World Laughter Tour. It wasn’t a Laughter Yoga session or a laughter club, which I have wanted to try out for several years now, but it was about all the many benefits of laughter and different practical ways to become more purposeful with our laughter in our everyday lives.  The laughologist even suggested keeping a laughter journal.  I love this idea!  

On Sunday, I’m organizing an art party precisely to create collages or paper mosaics with inspirational phrases on the covers of notebooks to be used as gratitude journals, art journals, reflection journals--the sky’s the limit.  Now I think I know what theme I want my notebook to have this Sunday: laughter!  What a neat way to incorporate more laughter into my life and focus on laughing more often too.  

The laughologist recommended writing down or recording the moments when we have “mirthful belly laughter,” the times when you can barely breathe from laughing so much, when tears roll down your cheeks, when you might even snort, and when your stomach muscles hurt afterwards.  She also said that we can keep funny jokes or cartoons we find in the journal.  And the final piece she mentioned was recording stories of our most embarrassing moments.  This is because of the importance of learning to laugh at ourselves.  

Throughout the class, we were encouraged to share funny or embarrassing stories.  I thought of the importance of storytelling and sharing funny moments with loved ones, and I remembered a funny story I recently told my husband of a time when I was about 6 years old and my dad told me we were going to drive by a perfume factory.  He even said to roll down the window when we got close and take a big, deep breath.  Milliseconds later, I realized we were driving by a manure plant.  I think I cried!  I remember being really mad about being tricked AND being laughed at.  Thinking about this now funny memory made me realize how important it is to develop the ability to laugh at myself and not take myself too seriously.  

Donna Oiland described this as a gift of laughter for ourselves, to look for ways to laugh more, and take better care of ourselves as a result.  So today, for my self-love practice, I have gifted myself the time to laugh--at this class and now watching reruns of Friends and by creating a laughter journal this weekend.  I’m also grateful for the mirthful belly laughter my husband and I took part in two nights ago after a weekend snowshoeing trip.  We were a bit delirious from exhaustion but boy, did it feel good to laugh so hard tears rolled down my cheeks. :)  

When was the last time you laughed like that?  

Live Life Every Day Like It's Your 21st Birthday!

Written in the morning on March 18, 2014-

For some of us, you may be just as excited to turn another year older as you were when you turned 21, but for many of us it can feel daunting and a little overwhelming, and we begin to resist this natural process of life. I for one want to learn to age with grace, I want to learn to embrace my wrinkles, I want to celebrate all the lessons I learned in each previous year and welcome all the beauty and blessings in the year to come. 

When I think of how alive I feel after reading all of the wonderful blessings and wishes for my friends and family on my birthday today, I begin to wonder if it is possible to feel this way every day, or at least more often throughout the year, rather than only on my birthday. I want to live my life with as much joy as when I turned 16 or 18 or 21.  

I started my birthday out today by sleeping in, enjoying a delicious breakfast made lovingly by my husband, reading beautiful messages of birthday blessings online, spending some quiet time in front of my little affirmation altar, singing at the top of my lungs in the car, and bellydancing for a few minutes in the living room, all before work! 

So I ask myself, why don't I start every day like this? What's stopping me? Really nothing. So it's definitely something to consider--how can we live each day with as much joy as we have on our special day or when we turned 21 or whatever age brought us great joy and a genuine feeling of zest for life? I know it's not always realistic to fit all these fun activities in every morning before work but if we show enthusiasm and commitment to our own joy every morning, at least by doing one small thing for ourselves that brings us more joy and a fresh perspective for our day, it might be easier to stay positive when stress and fear and frustrations come up throughout the day. 

We can remember the uplifting songs we sung that morning or the feeling of shimmying and dancing or the love that fills our heart when we remember all that we have to be grateful for in this life.  Our hearts can fill again with the love and blessings that our friends and family send us each year on our birthday when we remember their words and love again and again.  

I heard today that if we continue to read about new things, it keeps us feeling young. I wrote this poem because I also hope the following as I get older:

A Prayer As I Get Older

I want to become more loving as I get older

I want to open my heart even more

I want to be more patient

I want to truly live in the moment

And relish the joy I feel

So that the mere memory of that joy

Fills my spirit with love

When I am in need of light.

My Journey of Awareness

I would like to share some thoughts from my emotional awareness journey. It's been a long road and there is a long road ahead as well; I believe this is a lifelong journey, but in beginning to learn to accept all of the emotions that I experience, little flowers begin to pop up along the road, the views become more beautiful, and I start to enjoy the adventurous curves and bumps in my unique journey. 

Plain and simple – when I begin to feel grumpy, I now know I need to take a break from what I’m doing.

When I’m feeling anxious or afraid, I need to take deep breaths and try to expand the feelings I’m experiencing into a big bubble until I can lightly touch it and pop! The feelings have been freed. I'm thankful for this visual from the Sedona Method.

When I’m feeling disappointed or misunderstood, I need to make quality time for myself to do loving, compassionate, self-caring, and creative activities to feel more appreciated and understood.

When I’m feeling frustrated or pressured, I need to take a break and meditate on how big the Universe is and how vast Love is too, in order to put everything back into perspective.

When I’m feeling perfectionistic or down about something I could have done better, I need to recognize all the things I do well and enjoy doing.  Maybe even get out a brag book of positive feedback about myself from others for moments of self-criticism and low self-esteem.

When I begin to feel down and feel the spiral of catastrophizing beginning, I need to take a few moments, or maybe even an hour sometimes, to reflect on all that I am grateful for in this Life and watch a funny video or show, read an uplifting story, eat some mangos, go for a walk outside, or belly dance, to refocus my energy on all the miraculous positives of my Life.

What do you do to recognize, honor and learn from different emotions that visit you?

 

10 Life Lessons From Planning My Wedding In Under 6 Weeks

Last year at this time, my husband and I were busily yet joyously planning our unforgettable wedding day for early April, after only having gotten engaged on Valentine's Day, so that my in-laws could be there since they had already planned a visit from Ecuador that spring. When we began to think about the exact date for our wedding and after doing the math, we quickly realized that we had less than 6 weeks to plan everything--get a dress, pick a venue, send out invitations, taste cake, select a menu, assemble favors, decide on flowers, arrange photography, choose our vows, and the list goes on and on, as you may know if you have ever planned a wedding.

After attending several meditation classes and retreats and after doing a ton of reading on various personal development topics and after going through major surgery--all in the previous several years, I knew that staying mindful was key in planning everything so quickly and in not becoming a bridezilla. I wanted to savor each and every moment of the process and each and every minute of our very special day. 

It pained me very deeply when we began to do the calculations and realize that we couldn't afford to invite everyone we cared about. The last thing I wanted to do in such a glorious time was hurt anyone's feelings. I struggled with this a lot. But I was so fortunate to have loving people around me who understood me and my tendencies to fret and worry too much, and they kept reminding me that I couldn't control how others feel or react, as much as I tried, and that we could only do what we could do with limited finances and time but with great love. Amazing things happened for us in a very short amount of time, everything came together almost seamlessly, with the overwhelming support of our close family and friends and the Divine, making our wedding day truly magical, one of the most love-filled and joy-filled moments of our life.

I learned so much from going through this process and absolutely adored all the love that came to us from everywhere during that time. I want to pay tribute to this incredible time in our lives by writing about 10 life lessons I realized or learned from planning our wedding in less than 6 weeks. This list is a work in progress, as is all of my writing, a glorified draft, because as I type this, I am reminded of so many more wonderful details, incredible helping hands from friends and family, extraordinary generosity, and unconditional support and love. My self-compassion practice though for today is to recognize my energy levels waning and take time to rest, so I will have to leave the list as is, for now.

10 Life Lessons From Planning My Wedding In Under 6 Weeks

(Draft, in no particular order)

1. Be really present. REALLY make sure to use ALL your senses and savor every scent, view, color, flavor, song, laugh, hug, kiss, vow, toast, dance on your special day.
2. No matter how hard we try, we simply can’t make everyone happy.
3. Carpe Diem. Hakuna Matata. Seize the day!
4. It takes a village. Accept help from friends and family graciously.
5. Take time for deep breaths and alone time for prayer, reflection, and meditation.
6. Pinterest saves the day and is an excellent creative catalyst!
7. Enjoy the process. Enjoy the preparations leading up to the big day with close friends and family.  Enjoy the countless web searches for venue ideas with your finance(e), the trips to visit wedding venues, the cake tasting, the dress fitting, the favor assembly, the program creation, the invitation preparations, the choosing of the vows, the seating chart. Make each piece of the process a little celebration in and of itself. 
8. Open your heart up and give love freely.
9. Trust that everything on the big day will work out beautifully and lovingly, but not perfectly.
10. Creatively manage your stress in as many ways as you can fit into your busy schedule, because you’re sure to be juggling work and family demands on top of all the wedding planning, so don’t forget to sing, dance, walk, stretch, paint, create, laugh, write, as you lead up to the big day.  This is one of the most important times in your life when you really need to practice stress management techniques in order to truly enjoy your most special day and the process leading up to it.

*Photography generously gifted by Aaron Lawrence and Simone Gomes.

I Welcome Spontaneous Adventures

Today I'm writing a special spontaneous Sunday post for my birthday month, because I’m proclaiming the month of March as a month dedicated to self-love, self-acceptance, self-compassion, and cultivating connections i.e. friendships. So in honor of March, I would like to follow my favorite author, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy’s great idea to invite spontaneous adventures into my life. I would love it if any of you wanted to accompany me on some fun excursions this month such as, but not limited to:

laughter yoga  

paint dancing  

collage art parties  

flash mob practices 

fun lunches and/or dinners 

impromptu happy hours 

nature walks  

butterfly house visits 

-and-

Other fun, relaxing, creative endeavors you’ve wanted to try for awhile but haven’t yet.

What is one thing you've been wanting to try but just haven't made the time to do it yet? I challenge you to go out and try it this month!