Inside My Anti-Stress Backpack

I first learned how to truly relax and let go when I lived abroad in Ecuador and started taking long, leisurely walks on the beach to work each day.  I was also intrigued by the more laid-back way of life in the small town where I taught English and learned to embrace this attitude wholeheartedly.  When I returned to the States though, I began to research ways to maintain that sense of peace and relaxation I found on the beaches of Ecuador and live a more relaxed life despite being in a sometimes chaotic, rushed and ever-changing environment back in America.  I feel it is important to keep a list of the tools I've found helpful in discovering ways to relax and find peace in a stressful world, and I LOVE lists!  So I have created a list of some of my favorite relaxation techniques as a way of sharing my research with others and reminding myself to follow my own advice during chaotic times.

1. Breathe.  Don't forget to breathe!  I am constantly reminding myself of this and counting to 5 before letting go of my breath several times can be enough to bring peace and calm to my heart and bring me back to balance in frazzled times.  If you have a hard time finding the time and/or patience to sit down and breathe more often, I found that practicing in a group was very helpful, such as in a meditation class or a mindfulness retreat.  I have also found excellent ideas in the Stress Management Guide from Elizabeth Scott, M.S.  

2. Allow.  This is a relatively new practice for me that I read recently from one of my all-time favorite authors, SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) who wrote about the importance of allowing others to be as they are and not try or wish to change them.  Just reading this statement every now and then throughout my day has helped relax me and helped me focus on the only person I have any control over, which is myself.  I know, it sounds selfish or egotistical but I've learned that this is the best thing for everyone around you, to really take care of yourself and shower yourself with as much love as you can give.

3. Affirm.  I think one of the single most helpful ways of moving forward and letting my resilience shine through is by surrounding myself with positive affirming statements and quotes which inspire me to focus on all the wonder and beauty in my life. I have found many moving quotes and affirmations on the Beliefnet website, along with countless tips and strategies for moving past pain and finding balance in your life.  I also enjoy the uplifting messages I receive every morning from the Universe via TUT.  And on my iPhone, I get reminders every morning to read an encouraging and inspiring quote from Karen Salmansohn. After my second mindfulness retreat, I discovered an excellent mindfulness app for my smart phone called The Now and it sends me food for thought and things to try to help me stay in this present moment.  Since I often need constant reminders during busy, stressful times to stay afloat and in a positive light, these have really helped me.

4. Show Gratitude.  Often I see lists that state we must be grateful for all that we have, but I think it is even more effective if we show gratitude to others and to Mother Nature through our actions so we are putting gratitude in action.  Taking action and showing gratitude helps us remember the feeling that the action creates inside us and can help us relax into the present moment and thus feel grateful for all we have.  Also by focusing on all that we have, we draw more positive energy to ourselves. Oprah has written about this many times.  So I would challenge you, if you're already keeping a gratefulness journal to share one of the things you're thankful for with a close friend or someone you love. It could be simply be through offering a helping hand or being a compassionate listener to a friend in need or through a letter or message of thanks to express how thankful you are for having that person in your life.  But I know that sometimes I'm not in the mood to express my gratitude to another person so I think it can be just as valuable to pay homage or reverence to a beautiful tree, a gorgeous sunset, a colorful, cheerful bird, anything in nature that helps you appreciate this amazing planet in which we live.  I have said "hi" to mountains and little animals out in nature since I was a young girl.  At first I thought it was just something quirky that I did but now I know it was my way of paying tribute to nature and really appreciating all the beauty around me.  I have also found it helpful to publicly express my gratitude via social media sites, like Facebook, everyday for a month.  It helps build a habit of looking for something to be grateful for no matter what your day was like and helps shift your focus back to the positive.  Try to make a habit of showing your gratitude for life everyday.  I think it really does help.  (Now I just need to tattoo this to my arm so I never forget!)

I know lists can sometimes be overwhelming or feel like they're not enough to solve all our problems, but I find that coming upon different lists like this in times of struggle really do help me stay focused in the moment and as I continue to grow my knowledge of wellness and self-care, I add a helpful little something to my anti-stress backpack every time.

May we live life with ease.

Peace be with you.

Declutter To Destress

For the past 7 days, I've been practically eating, breathing, and dreaming about moving boxes!  There is something about changing homes that stirs up your soul, wakes you up and helps you reevaluate all that you have in your life.  I set out with the huge challenge to declutter much of the papers and mementos I had accumulated over the years and I'm pleased to report that I was able to let go of so much--bags and bags to the recycle bin and even more bags and bags and boxes and boxes of things dropped off at the thrift store to donate.  It brings me much peace to pass along items that might be helpful to others and at the same time to free up space both in our home and in myself.  Remembering that I will always keep my memories and that I can take a picture of something to remember it by, rather than keeping everything, helped me let go of so much.  I do have even more to let go of though.  Unfortunately I ran out of time and had to pack away a few boxes of papers and things I haven't gone through so my decluttering challenge continues, which it should, because if we are not constantly reconsidering what we choose to keep in our homes and lives, we will accumulate new things and end up with too much clutter around us again.  I want to create a regular practice of it--a spiritual practice in a sense--to keep moving forward and get unstuck when I may feel like I'm drowning in papers.  If I can regularly evaluate all that I have, I will have more space for breathing, meditating, thinking, writing, dreaming and loving life.  I do not need things to make me whole.  On the contrary, freeing myself of so many things makes me feel more whole and free.  I'm not there yet, but maybe as I said, this is a constant process and something I need to work on on a regular basis.  Similar to studying stress management, there will always be events that bring us stress, but the more we read about managing and responding to the stress, rather than just reacting, the better and faster we'll recover and the more peace we'll feel during and after times of stress.  And clutter stresses me out.  So it makes sense to include decluttering as one of my stress management practices.

Do you have a stress management practice of your own?  Please share with us!  :)

Making My Own Declutter Challenge

A few days ago I started a challenge to declutter something from my home everyday and free up space in my life.  Today is Day 5 of my Declutter Challenge.  As I go through this process, I am realizing that one of the biggest points of resistance for me in going through all my stuff is a sense of loss, that I’ll be losing part of my past in this process.  One way I’m trying to come to terms with getting rid of sentimental clutter is by writing about what I’m letting go of.  For probably 4 or 5 years, I have been collecting inspirational quotes and sayings and posting them in places where I can see them throughout the day.  But as I uncover more and more inspirational quotes, there’s no way to keep them all, so I’m going to record them here and honor them as they have been a life preserver or buoy for me at times when stress began to really weigh me down.  They helped me keep going and stay strong despite the chaos happening around me.  So right here and now I take the time to say “thank you” to the countless writers who have shared their wisdom with others and who have moved me to be a better, stronger woman.

• Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder.  ~E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web
• Live well, Laugh often and Love much.  ~Unknown (although I have a feeling it was printed on the inside of a Dove chocolate wrapper. Yummy wisdom!)
• Though you may not be able to change it, you can handle an ugly situation beautifully.  ~Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan, Alchemical Wisdom
• Do your best and then relax. Let things go on in a natural way, rather than force them.  ~Paramahansa Yogananda
• To this day I believe we are here on earth to live, grow, and do what we can to make this world a better place for all people to enjoy freedom.  ~Rosa Parks
• Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.  How do you know this is the experience you need?  Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.  ~Eckhart Tolle
• Flavor your life with TRUST & THANKFULNESS.  ~Unknown  (Does anyone recognize it?  If not, maybe it was me?) 
• Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.  ~MLK, Jr.
• Get comfortable with uncertainity.  ~Pema Chodron
• No blame, no shame, no regret.  ~Unknown
• Life is short!  ~Unknown.  (But my beloved acupuncturist told me this once.)
• 1-Value Yourself.  2-Be Committed to Happiness.  3-Be Open-Minded.  (I added: Visualize blue skies and rainbows with puffy white clouds in my mind. :) )  4-Look after Your Health.  5-Keep Your Sense of Humor.  6-Believe in the Power of Laughter. (Keep the channels to joy open!)  7-Appreciate the Lucky Charm of Happiness.  ~Inna Segal
• Om Mani Padme Hum: Om = body, speech & mind, Mani = jewel—enlightened, compassion & love, Padme = lotus—wisdom, Hum = indivisibility—the immovable, unfluctuating, that which cannot be disturbed by anything…By saying this, invokes the powerful benevolent attention & embodiment of compassion.  ~Tibetan Prayer (Mantra)
• I open new doors to Life.  I rejoice in what I have and I know that fresh new experiences are always ahead.  I greet the new with open arms.  I trust life to be wonderful.  ~Louise Hay, Life!: Reflections on Your Journey

As a result of feeling inspired and stronger in the face of a variety of adversities, I have also come up with sayings and steps of my own to help me stay present and de-stress in times of need.  Here are some examples I found in my stuff:

• *Breathe. *Rest. *Reflect. *Protect Myself. * Drink Water. *Laugh! *And start again…
• This week’s priorities are:  *Sleep.  *Perspective  *Exercise!  (for Stress Relief)
• Receta para estar feliz: *Mangos  *Bob Marley  *Zumba 

As I record these here, I am releasing them into the recycle pile, knowing that they have helped me and will continue to help me and hopefully others grow stronger and lead happier lives.  I can let them go while still honoring their place in my path of self-growth and share them with others in the process, on this blog.

Through this process, my hope is to release the fear I have kept inside of losing something by letting go of the material things that mean a lot to me in my life.  Deep down I know and have always known that everything that really matters in life is kept inside my heart, inside my soul and I can ask for its help and strength at any time, whenever I need it.  That is the beautiful thing of having faith. 

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it.  We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.”  ~J. Krishnamurti

Notes to myself as I declutter in the coming days:

• When it gets hard, stop and write about it.  Or take pictures of the sentimental items I’m needing to release and donate.
• Let go of the fear and painful memories that come up when looking through some of the clutter.  The way to do this is by literally letting go of the papers in question and maintaining faith that things will work out beautifully in the end.  Because they will.

Fear and faith go hand in hand so much, don’t they?  If I’m feeling really afraid of something that might happen (which is not a real fear then, but an anxiety), in that moment, I’m forgetting my faith.  When I have complete faith in my life and know in my heart that everything is working out beautifully, then I’m no longer afraid of what “might” happen, because I know it’s for my good, to help me on my journey through life.

So earlier today I wrote myself a note on a sticky that reads:

*Walk through the park for exercise and fresh air.
*Meditate/Pray/Affirm that I am no longer afraid of letting go!
*Go through papers in the dining room, closets and by the dresser and purge.  Be free!

And if I had more room on the sticky note, I would have added:

*Feel the freedom of letting go of these papers that have been weighing you down!

Deciding to Rewrite My History

Recently I read a great line from Tess Marshall of The Bold Life on rewriting our history and I felt compelled to reflect on this and write about it.  I spent much of 2012 dealing with some quite challenging health issues and feeling a bit beside myself and at times sorry for myself because of the chronic, debilitating pain I experienced before having open, abdominal surgery and the acute, agonizing pain I felt post-op due to an infection and open wound as a result, that took 4 long months to heal.  

But what if I chose to rewrite that history for myself?  What if I chose to view and remember all the wonderful things I learned from these challenges and also all the wonderful things that happened at the same time as all these challenges?  Wouldn’t last year’s traumas then have more value and meaning for my overall story and life experience? I think so!

If I shift my focus and instead of remembering all the pain, instead remember all the love I received and was able to give, 2012 is illuminated in a whole new light. A light of learning to trust with all my being and falling deeply in love with my soulmate and now husband, of being gentle and loving with my other soulmate--me!--and of returning to my childhood home to be cared for so tenderly by my dear, sweet, patient mother.

I get a little teary-eyed and start to beam with love and light when I reflect and remember ALL THIS LOVE that filled my life last year. I would MOST definitely prefer to remember all the love, rather all the pain! So here I begin. To rewrite my history. It feels good. It feels positive. Proactive. And fills me with thanksgiving. Like a gratitude journal for the past. That's it! So whenever there is a painful part of your past that might return to haunt you from time to time, remember what you were grateful for during that time. Even if it seems hard. I know there's something. If you have trouble, remember you're alive. That's a BIG something to be thankful for, isn't it?

Photo taken today in Lake Forest Park, Washington by yours truly, la Ecua-Gringa.

Celebrating Our Own Talents and Gifts

Happy October, everyone!  'Tis the season to enjoy pumpkin spice almond milk lattes, corn mazes, accessorizing with pretty scarves and fuzzy boots, and the vibrant colors of the changing leaves. May each of you savor the sights, scents, flavors, fuzziness and songs of the autumn season.

On this edition of Tranquil Tuesdays, I've decided to honor and appreciate myself more.  This was sparked by a wonderful weekly email sent out today by Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (aka. SARK, my favorite inspirational artistic author) on whether we appreciate ourselves enough.  It got me thinking about a general longing that sometimes comes up for me for greater appreciation and recognition from others of my efforts, my struggles, all I've overcome, and how maybe, just maybe the appreciation that I seek actually needs to come from within.  Maybe I need to truly appreciate and recognize--on a regular basis--all that I've accomplished in order to truly feel appreciated.  Because if we feel at peace with ourselves, we generally feel at peace with the world.

I think this goes hand-in-hand with self-compassion also.  Are we willing to be as compassionate about our own struggles and difficulties as we are with others?  Many are very good at showing care and concern for our loved ones and our friends and the people we serve, if we're in a helping profession, but how often do we show that same care and concern for ourselves?  I attended a training on the topic of compassion fatigue back in May and I think I was truly too burned out to digest any more information on the subject.  It was just too overwhelming to think about all the things I could and should be doing to prevent this type of fatigue from helping others.  Funny how sometimes when we need the advice the most, we can't absorb it as well as we can later on, after the dust has settled, when we feel a little better and can begin to be more proactive.

I've begun to realize that the key is to practice, practice, practice the stress management techniques that work best for me at times when I feel proactive and open to these ideas, and then over time, through habit, I will begin to react in a calmer, more peaceful way, in hopes of responding rather than reacting when stress comes to visit.  My hope is also to study this subject of stress management so much that I remember more frequently and readily many of the helpful tips I've read about and can use them and practice them in difficult times.

So in appreciation of my journey, I want to recognize my tenacity for finding solutions to difficult problems and stressful situations, my creativity for expressing what I've learned in life through movement, photography and the written word, and my outstanding love of nature and beauty.

Phew.  That was a little uncomfortable and challenging to write about publicly, but I think we can all benefit from recognizing our own gifts more often, don't you?