Striving for Good Enough

This past week I've felt a little bit better about my paper addiction by making some progress and even thinning down some of the piles. I have collected paper since I was a girl. I still have some papers from my childhood. Honestly I love paper. I can't deny it. I'm one of those people who can stare at the scrapbook paper at the craft store for a long time. But my collection has gotten a little out of hand and after moving twice in the past 2 years, I would have liked to have been more organized by now. So this week I think I finally got tired of complaining about not having enough time or energy to go through things. And a few mornings ago, I just started going through some papers in a box in our bedroom before I went to work. It wasn’t that sunny out so I didn’t feel as motivated to get to work early and go for a nice walk in the park like in previous weeks, so I instead went through some papers. I didn’t recycle anything or get rid of anything in that instant, but I at least started. Starting is half the battle, I’m finding! So let this be a reminder to my future self to just get started. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t even have to get finished. It just has to get started and keep restarting until it’s good enough. 

I'm striving for “Good Enough!” It's a new normal for me, as a recovering perfectionist. A more realistic and kinder way of living. A more compassionate process, rather than pushing myself to finish everything perfectly and completely the first try and feeling horribly when I don’t succeed. That’s not helping matters. It’s not helping me feel supported in my development. I am working on many personal growth projects right now and showing kindness to myself is probably the number one predictor of my future success and follow-through.  Life isn’t all about productivity. There are so many more interesting aspects of living. So many wonderful lessons to learn. Observations to be made. Love to share. Laughter to be had. Stories to tell. Tips to teach. Creativity to form!

And because of the small progress I made that morning, the next day I came home after an almost hourlong commute miraculously with enough motivation and energy to go through another box that had been sitting in the closet for almost a year. This time I separated things into different piles, deciding what was worth saving, what was worth photographing so that it could then be recycled, what was worth pitching, and what could be used in a future collage. :) It is a lot easier now that I'm collaging regularly to get rid of cute invitations and cards I had been saving, because I can now use the images and words that really inspire and resonate with me and give them a new life in a unique piece of art. :)

The pressure of having to go through EVERYTHING I've collected that sits in the closet, in the drawers, in boxes, in the bookcase, on the table is frankly too overwhelming. By striving for good enough instead and practicing self-compassion in the process, I can work on a small pile of papers that I pulled from one of the problem places and feel more accomplished going through that small pile than I ever did just staring at the daunting task as a whole before me. Breaking it down into little piles is manageable and helps me feel more successful. Also not focusing on finishing, and instead on getting started--over and over again--is much more realistic and doesn't overwhelm me as much. It takes the pressure off. The pressure to do a perfect job and finish going through years of paperwork in the blink of an eye. This is not going to be a quick process with me. I know myself. I love to relish in nostalgia from time to time. I love history. I love reminiscing. I was after all the historian of an honor society club back in high school. Not everything in life is a rush to the finish line. Many things in life turn out better and more enjoyable when taking our time.

So in order to seek progress rather than completion, I must celebrate each and every little victory. Each time I get started. And remember that life is a process, not a destination. Not everything in life is about completing something--so much of life's joys are found along the way as we step forward.

I'll leave you with some decluttering inspiration that serendipitously found me this very week on Facebook from author, Elizabeth Gilbert:

"Pick up an object. Ask self: 'Does this object fill me with a sense of light and possibility?' If yes, keep it. If not, throw that sh*t away." ~Liz Gilbert

Declutter To Destress

For the past 7 days, I've been practically eating, breathing, and dreaming about moving boxes!  There is something about changing homes that stirs up your soul, wakes you up and helps you reevaluate all that you have in your life.  I set out with the huge challenge to declutter much of the papers and mementos I had accumulated over the years and I'm pleased to report that I was able to let go of so much--bags and bags to the recycle bin and even more bags and bags and boxes and boxes of things dropped off at the thrift store to donate.  It brings me much peace to pass along items that might be helpful to others and at the same time to free up space both in our home and in myself.  Remembering that I will always keep my memories and that I can take a picture of something to remember it by, rather than keeping everything, helped me let go of so much.  I do have even more to let go of though.  Unfortunately I ran out of time and had to pack away a few boxes of papers and things I haven't gone through so my decluttering challenge continues, which it should, because if we are not constantly reconsidering what we choose to keep in our homes and lives, we will accumulate new things and end up with too much clutter around us again.  I want to create a regular practice of it--a spiritual practice in a sense--to keep moving forward and get unstuck when I may feel like I'm drowning in papers.  If I can regularly evaluate all that I have, I will have more space for breathing, meditating, thinking, writing, dreaming and loving life.  I do not need things to make me whole.  On the contrary, freeing myself of so many things makes me feel more whole and free.  I'm not there yet, but maybe as I said, this is a constant process and something I need to work on on a regular basis.  Similar to studying stress management, there will always be events that bring us stress, but the more we read about managing and responding to the stress, rather than just reacting, the better and faster we'll recover and the more peace we'll feel during and after times of stress.  And clutter stresses me out.  So it makes sense to include decluttering as one of my stress management practices.

Do you have a stress management practice of your own?  Please share with us!  :)

Making My Own Declutter Challenge

A few days ago I started a challenge to declutter something from my home everyday and free up space in my life.  Today is Day 5 of my Declutter Challenge.  As I go through this process, I am realizing that one of the biggest points of resistance for me in going through all my stuff is a sense of loss, that I’ll be losing part of my past in this process.  One way I’m trying to come to terms with getting rid of sentimental clutter is by writing about what I’m letting go of.  For probably 4 or 5 years, I have been collecting inspirational quotes and sayings and posting them in places where I can see them throughout the day.  But as I uncover more and more inspirational quotes, there’s no way to keep them all, so I’m going to record them here and honor them as they have been a life preserver or buoy for me at times when stress began to really weigh me down.  They helped me keep going and stay strong despite the chaos happening around me.  So right here and now I take the time to say “thank you” to the countless writers who have shared their wisdom with others and who have moved me to be a better, stronger woman.

• Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder.  ~E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web
• Live well, Laugh often and Love much.  ~Unknown (although I have a feeling it was printed on the inside of a Dove chocolate wrapper. Yummy wisdom!)
• Though you may not be able to change it, you can handle an ugly situation beautifully.  ~Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan, Alchemical Wisdom
• Do your best and then relax. Let things go on in a natural way, rather than force them.  ~Paramahansa Yogananda
• To this day I believe we are here on earth to live, grow, and do what we can to make this world a better place for all people to enjoy freedom.  ~Rosa Parks
• Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.  How do you know this is the experience you need?  Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.  ~Eckhart Tolle
• Flavor your life with TRUST & THANKFULNESS.  ~Unknown  (Does anyone recognize it?  If not, maybe it was me?) 
• Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.  ~MLK, Jr.
• Get comfortable with uncertainity.  ~Pema Chodron
• No blame, no shame, no regret.  ~Unknown
• Life is short!  ~Unknown.  (But my beloved acupuncturist told me this once.)
• 1-Value Yourself.  2-Be Committed to Happiness.  3-Be Open-Minded.  (I added: Visualize blue skies and rainbows with puffy white clouds in my mind. :) )  4-Look after Your Health.  5-Keep Your Sense of Humor.  6-Believe in the Power of Laughter. (Keep the channels to joy open!)  7-Appreciate the Lucky Charm of Happiness.  ~Inna Segal
• Om Mani Padme Hum: Om = body, speech & mind, Mani = jewel—enlightened, compassion & love, Padme = lotus—wisdom, Hum = indivisibility—the immovable, unfluctuating, that which cannot be disturbed by anything…By saying this, invokes the powerful benevolent attention & embodiment of compassion.  ~Tibetan Prayer (Mantra)
• I open new doors to Life.  I rejoice in what I have and I know that fresh new experiences are always ahead.  I greet the new with open arms.  I trust life to be wonderful.  ~Louise Hay, Life!: Reflections on Your Journey

As a result of feeling inspired and stronger in the face of a variety of adversities, I have also come up with sayings and steps of my own to help me stay present and de-stress in times of need.  Here are some examples I found in my stuff:

• *Breathe. *Rest. *Reflect. *Protect Myself. * Drink Water. *Laugh! *And start again…
• This week’s priorities are:  *Sleep.  *Perspective  *Exercise!  (for Stress Relief)
• Receta para estar feliz: *Mangos  *Bob Marley  *Zumba 

As I record these here, I am releasing them into the recycle pile, knowing that they have helped me and will continue to help me and hopefully others grow stronger and lead happier lives.  I can let them go while still honoring their place in my path of self-growth and share them with others in the process, on this blog.

Through this process, my hope is to release the fear I have kept inside of losing something by letting go of the material things that mean a lot to me in my life.  Deep down I know and have always known that everything that really matters in life is kept inside my heart, inside my soul and I can ask for its help and strength at any time, whenever I need it.  That is the beautiful thing of having faith. 

“What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it.  We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.”  ~J. Krishnamurti

Notes to myself as I declutter in the coming days:

• When it gets hard, stop and write about it.  Or take pictures of the sentimental items I’m needing to release and donate.
• Let go of the fear and painful memories that come up when looking through some of the clutter.  The way to do this is by literally letting go of the papers in question and maintaining faith that things will work out beautifully in the end.  Because they will.

Fear and faith go hand in hand so much, don’t they?  If I’m feeling really afraid of something that might happen (which is not a real fear then, but an anxiety), in that moment, I’m forgetting my faith.  When I have complete faith in my life and know in my heart that everything is working out beautifully, then I’m no longer afraid of what “might” happen, because I know it’s for my good, to help me on my journey through life.

So earlier today I wrote myself a note on a sticky that reads:

*Walk through the park for exercise and fresh air.
*Meditate/Pray/Affirm that I am no longer afraid of letting go!
*Go through papers in the dining room, closets and by the dresser and purge.  Be free!

And if I had more room on the sticky note, I would have added:

*Feel the freedom of letting go of these papers that have been weighing you down!