Meditations in Falling Off the Goal Wagon

A great deal of my thoughts, frustrations and energy have been dedicated throughout my life to feeling bad for falling off the “wagon.” I think I sometimes envision this wagon being a caravan filled with my hopes and dreams carrying me swiftly to my goal. So when I fall off of it and lose my way, stop doing the things I’ve committed to doing or not do them in the time frame I originally set up, I tend to feel really down. At least at first.  

Other times I start an “I don’t care” campaign in response to my falling off and apathy clouds my normally optimistic and hopeful disposition. In a way, this defiance can be an act of self-love, giving myself permission to give up the time-frame constraints I had originally imposed upon myself and allowing myself to be free and embrace a more impromptu way of living.  

I’ve struggled with these dueling ideas—plan, plan, plan for success and reaching my goals versus let it go, relax, don’t worry, I don’t care. But just now as I type this, another idea popped into my head. What if I stop struggling against my innate nature of planning and relaxing, and fully embrace these seemingly opposite traits to take a more positive stance? Could this taming of the duel inside be the key to peace? Isn’t the idea of envisioning our dreams and then releasing them the very basis for the famous Law of Attraction?  

Could there be a hidden nugget in my angst that I haven’t yet been accessing? I think so. And I’m intrigued. As an action-oriented planner and dreamer, this delights me that in my “laziness” I may have actually been cultivating something of value after all. Maybe all the time when I could have been “productive” and instead gave myself time to rest and “veg” on the couch or on Facebook was actually exactly what I needed to move forward.

Rest is required when on a journey. And setting out to reach our goals and dreams is quite a journey. So of course we need rest! In seeing my resting time as essential and valuable, I then give myself permission to take my sweet time, enjoy the view, reflect…or not, be human, and to gather my strength for the next lag of this incredible journey we call life. 

"You are on the path... exactly where you are meant to be right now... And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love." —Caroline Adams