A New Perspective on Pain

Three years after major abdominal surgery to relocate a compressed renal vein as a result of a rare syndrome named after the Nutcracker for its “nutcrackering” or clamping down effect on my vein and 125 hours of transformational life coach training later, I successfully managed my cyclical pain without Western medicine this month! This is a big feat for me on so many levels. I’m no longer dependent on pills as my savior when I’m in pain. This summer I’ve been focusing on prevention and self-care before the pain hits, which involves whole-life changes and new healthier habits the whole month long, not just when I’m in pain. I have significantly reduced my intake of:

• gluten because of its connection with inflammation which is known to cause more pain
• soy because of its ability to increase estrogen in the body which increases blood flow and when you have residual varicosities from the Nutcracker Syndrome, excess estrogen is not your friend
• corn due to its links with inflammation and consequently increased allergies, which I’m learning are most likely a result of my body being so inflamed over a long period of time
• sugar—especially refined—because of its connection with greater inflammation in the body as well—this one is especially challenging for me and one I could reduce even more with greater discipline and practice
• dairy, which I had already reduced quite a bit due to gastrointestinal discomfort that started over 10 years ago but which I sometimes still doctored or put a bandaid over with a Lactaid pill
• caffeine because it constricts blood vessels and raises tension levels which can result in increased pain

It’s a big undertaking and that’s why I think it’s been possible for me because of my life coach training. Of course I trained to coach others but I also reap the benefits, and taking on major life changes like this are beginning to seem much more manageable with experience and the tools I’ve learned. I am also incorporating suggestions that my naturopath made a long time ago that I finally feel like I can take on and by adding these self-loving activities into my week, I build up my resilience to stress and my response to pain comes from a calmer place. I remember to breathe through it and not resist or tense up. Through quick morning meditations, lymphatic dry brushing, Epsom salt baths, walking barefoot on the beach, and massage and acupuncture, I am beginning to find regular ways to ground myself into the moment, into gratitude, into trusting. It makes a big difference. It also helps me consider that pain is in our lives for a reason; it’s a messenger and I’m grateful for its message to focus on showing my body move love and dedicate time to improving my health and well-being.

Just Write...and Dream!

I gotta just write. As the month comes to a close today, and I realize I've only posted one blog this month, I want to maintain my commitment to at least post twice per month, until I get back into my more regular weekly habit again. I've been giving myself a free pass for the last 6 or so months, but there is just so much value for me in writing. When I take the time to reflect and put my life lessons into words, the act of processing and sharing releases tension and brings me greater peace.

This past weekend I completed my 60th hour of transformational life coach training at SLCT, and boy has it been transformational for me so far! In some ways the inner transformation happening in me has been subtle--I feel calmer overall, I pause more, I radiate peace more often. In other ways, I'm living out my dreams--when I look back at the vision board I created almost 2 years ago, several months before I began to regularly post blogs here, so many of the concepts I dreamed of are mine now. They are a part of me. They are second nature. And that feels wonderful. I hadn't really had a chance to really look at my dreams this way and see the progress I've already made on manifesting my dreams until I began my life coach training course 3 months ago.

I'm now practicing coaching technologies or tools that invoke and inspire so many of the concepts I included on my board. More than embodying these concepts of wellness, peace, grace, balance, I'm sharing them with others, and that truly feels like a gift. The time flies by when I practice and then I get to enjoy the after effects of flow and being present in the moment to help effect positive awareness and change in someone's life. I get to inspire others to dream. I get to give them permission to dream. I get to shine light on their brilliance and encourage, encourage, encourage. And with enCOURAGEment comes courage. As Brené Brown writes, the word "courage" comes from the Latin word "cor" meaning heart. I am so blessed to get to connect with the heart of others. And help them see they can connect with their own hearts for guidance, support, and love. It is always available to us. That is the most beautiful thing.

In one of the exercises we learned last weekend, we worked on creating a mission statement for our lives. In mine, I included putting myself first more often and I had to list several actions to demonstrate this, like: going to the spa, taking nature walks, resting before fulfilling others' needs, soaking in the bathtub, making my gym dance or yoga class a priority, cooking healthy organic meals, committing to finishing my art journaling e-course, and overall taking my time and loving more fully. In this, I'm also going to add making regular creative reflection time, like right now as I write this blog before continuing with my day. It is so very important to put ourselves first, so that we can fill ourselves up, feel the joy of being full of self-love, and then be able to give more to others in return. To give more authentically and genuinely to others, because we have done so for ourselves. That is my mission.

"Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we'll ever do."
~Brene Brown

(My new dream/vision board!)

Lessons From Life Coaching

Last month I began a course to become a transformational life coach. Without even knowing, I have been preparing for this for over 7 years. I have researched almost all there is to research about stress management, at first in an attempt to gain more inner peace and balance in my life and then metamorphosing into a passion to cultivate greater wellness in my life and in the lives of others. Through my readings and reflections, I have discovered that stress is quite possibly the number one joy killer in society today. But then again it isn't about stress being bad and joy being good, it goes much deeper than that. It's about releasing the need to control everything and leaning into life and trusting that everything is here to serve us. It's just not always easy to see how sometimes.

Through my adventures in researching everything I could get my hands on about wellness and managing stress, I have slowly gained insight into my own inner struggles and inner strengths, and through that insight, I've gained awareness of my own inner workings, which is the key to transforming anything. Without the ability to see from a little distance with some clarity how I tick, I can't begin to even imagine what steps I could start taking to feel more at peace.

Now after seven years, I'm beginning to grow some fruit from my research and put what I've learned in real action through coaching. I think starting to write regularly on my blog a year and a half ago and naming that I'm a creative wellness & stress management blogger/consultant/coach in training on sites like LinkedIn represented big steps in my journey to put my passion for researching wellness into action and into real baby steps to greater over wellness for myself and to following my dream of making my own schedule and helping motivate and empower others to find their wellness as well.

As I practice different coaching techniques with wonderful and willing guinea pig friends of mine--thank you so much for your support!--I am also practicing the techniques with myself, as I see myself through the mirror of coaching. And I am beginning to acknowledge the little and big steps I've been taking towards living my dreams. It's also building my confidence to hear feedback from others and learn how others really see me--as a capable and compassionate coach. Recognizing the huge disparity in how classmates and friends see me with how I sometimes see myself has been very eye-opening. And as I continue to build my self-compassion muscles, I strive to see myself more and more through the eyes of a loving friend.

Learning about coaching is also like a permission slip to ask myself the big, hairy questions that are normally ignored or brushed under the rug because they're just too big or that we don't feel capable of achieving due to their enormous size. Coaching is asking those big and powerful questions, and through asking others and seeing their positive responses as a result, I feel more compelled to keep asking myself big questions too and write and reflect and talk about them more. Through sharing we can really gain creative momentum and through that we receive support and encouragement which builds up our confidence and believability. Because what we believe is possible can be directly reflected in how and what we experience in life.

So I leave you with one of those big, hairy questions written by Emma-Louise Elsey:

If you were to FULLY live your life, what is the first change you would start to make?