Gratitude is the Flashlight in the Cave

When I think about discomfort and emotional pain or angst, probably one of the worst culprits is self-criticism or self-judgment and not feeling adequate or being almost paralyzed by the fear of disapproval and what others will think. When I'm grounded and well-rested and have exercised the daily stress away, I can handle these fears with grace. But when I'm tired, scared, feeling alone, not knowing what to do or how to manage it all, and not having enough time to do my very best, I cave. I literally feel like I enter a cave of darkness, and pessimism and self-loathing take over my being. The only physical remedy when I'm so far into this cave is sleeping it off, or walking it off, but with a close friend so my thoughts won't wander off course and venture down Worry Lane anymore.

When I'm in that cave, I begin to have irrational thoughts of inadequency, that I'm not doing a good job, that I should be able to do better. I also wish my way into a darker corner of the cave, wishing circumstances were different, that I could win the lottery, that I could take time off and care for my dear sweet mom, who is recovering from a cerebral hemmorage of her cerebellum and is now home after a month in the hospital.

But that cave and those down-spiraling, de-centering thoughts don't help me feel stronger or more capable or more resilient. They only focus on what's wrong and not on all that's going well and all that there is to be grateful for. Gratitude is the flashlight in the cave. One of the only surefire ways to see my way out of the darkness. That's really what sleep and dreaming and walking and good company bring me back to: gratitude. 

So when you feel in despair and don't know what to do or don't know how you could possibly overcome all the obstacles or hardships turning you closer to the dark cave of self-criticism and negativity, try to combat that darkness with the light of gratitude. When I'm really deep into that cave though, this can be extremely difficult, but try to at least acknowledge the beauty of your surroundings or the love you feel for someone, the air you're breathing, the time--however short that you're taking to think of something to be grateful for, because the very starting of this change in view is key, and it's definitely a practice, not something that comes naturally when you're feeling overwhelmed. I wish it were, but practicing is a big part of life--it teaches us resilience and perseverance, the ability to develop more deeply what we decide to practice.

Living a more grateful life more often takes a lot of practice but you're almost guaranteed to feel better and filled with more light as a result. It guides us lovingly out of the cave of despair. And that's something to be very grateful for.