The Courageous Act of Rest

 

Sometimes I put pressure on myself to get stuff done, to do magic tricks and juggle caring for my four-month-old while taking care of our home and starting my own business. But then there are days when my baby girl has a cold and so do I and both our energy is waning and all we can muster is snuggling on the couch, nursing and napping. And that is productive. It's just not how we’re taught to view productivity. Rest is so underrated but so so necessary for everything to run smoothly. I've come to believe that colds have a way of slowing us down so we’re forced to rest. But what if we incorporated rest in our everyday lives? Would we feel better? Have less colds? I think we just might.

But how can we get everything done that we need to get done while also making time for rest? I know for me, since becoming a mom, I've found time for rest when breastfeeding. But I find myself still trying to multitask and for example write a blog post or read articles while nursing. What if I took more time to take deep belly breaths instead? Or if I distanced myself from technology more and colored instead? Creativity is rest for me. Collaging relaxes me. It's challenging to do though while breastfeeding but visualizing is entirely possible. And using our minds to improve our wellness is also a creative and valuable task.

I read a quote earlier today about how we can make any task a meditation by focusing on that one thing mindfully. Or by NOT multitasking. Yes, unitasking may be the key to finding windows of rest in our day. I know, I know, it goes against all we've been taught, but what if we gave it a try for at least a few minutes during each of our days? How would our lives change? How would our health change? How would we feel? I dare you to give it a try. 

What part of your day can you dedicate to unitasking?


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Nestling into Fall and Dreaming Bite-Sized

I had the same amount of things to do today than I did last week and yet I didn't feel overwhelmed and I got stuff done. 

Overwhelm is a visitor that has paid me plenty of visits in this life. And as I begin to almost befriend it or take time to learn from it, I realize that when I let the overwhelm rain all over me, I don't get much done. It seems to paralyze me and thus more overwhelm comes.

On the other hand, after taking some time over the weekend to rest--and let's be honest, I even felt a little overwhelmed with personal and household projects--something shifted today and my focus was no longer on Ms. Overwhelm overstaying her visit, it was instead on slowly getting sh...stuff done. 

I know this. I've been coached around this and I myself have coached others on this very topic. It's what I preach--that if you break a big project down into smaller more bite-sized tasks, you'll first of all feel more successful because you've finally gotten something done on the path towards your goals, and you won't be overwhelmed with the sometimes enormity of your dreams. 

I dream big. And I also dream bite-sized.

Another topic that is related to overwhelm that I've been reading about for awhile now is being a highly sensitive person or HSP. Yes, I am an HSP. I believe deep down that we all are, but I have been blessed with hypersensitivity from the get-go. And with this gift comes overwhelm at times, from things that people who aren't as in tune yet with their sensitivity might not have ever imagined. They may at some point though experience flashes of it, especially when they're extremely vulnerable, such as in grieving times or times of illness. 

I, on the other hand, feel overwhelmed by sounds or noise, social interaction without quiet breaks to recover, or the TV or the radio. I'm more resilient and can bounce back quite quickly when I'm fully grounded and have taken time for me on a regular basis. If I take time to slow to my preferred pace, if I take time to do the things I really enjoy like being creative or outside in nature, if I take time to refuel my energy through quiet reflection time, then I don't feel as overwhelmed. 

I think these resilience building activities can help with any kind of overwhelm actually.

It's getting to the point when you stop embodying the overwhelm and instead start taking it one small bite at a time. That takes time and practice. And greater awareness helps the process even more.

Even Superwoman Takes Breaks

Here is a piece I wrote back on October 21st that I haven't had a chance to post yet on the importance of taking breaks, AND not feeling guilty about it. It's an important topic that I need to remember.

I think a really important lesson in life for me is learning to take time to recharge and refresh without feeling guilty. Learning to put myself above work needs or others' needs is a real challenge for me but it is also so important to learn.

I used to work with a smoker who would escape every few hours for a smoke break and I remember having an epiphany one day to take non-smoking breaks--quick breaks outside to breathe in the fresh air or take a few moments to stretch and refresh myself.

In my new workplace, there don't seem to be any smokers so the reminder to take my non-smoking breaks hasn't been quite as apparent. But my body reminds me. My restless, creatively energetic spirit reminds me, if I remember to tune into my own channel and listen within.

It's like what I practiced in my art journaling class last week with Brene Brown--permission slips. Giving myself permission to rest. To take breaks. (I'm writing this on my phone and the autocorrect keeps changing "breaks" to "breaths" which is very insightful for a smart phone, don't you think?) 

I bet even Superwoman takes breaks!

There are little ways to take breaks throughout the day too. I just stirred my coffee and then saw a pretty swirling design in the reflection of the coffee. It's the moments of mindfulness throughout our days that make life more beautiful. Life is always beautiful, it's always waiting for us to notice its immense beauty in the seemingly simple things. Well, I don't think life is waiting but our souls are waiting for us to notice all the beauty around us. 

Like this morning, a rainy morning, a bit dark still when I left for work, and yet I saw a beautiful reflection on the wet road that the red stoplights made. It's how we look at everyday things. How we choose to see them. How we change our focus and give ourselves permission to take the time to enjoy our surroundings and gaze at the beauty before us. That is what helps rejuvenate my soul.

Finding the Shiny Bits Underneath the Pain

My body always finds a way to slow me down and give me rest.

I can't say quite yet that I'm grateful for my good ol' monthly pain reminder--I think I'm not quite that spiritually evolved--but I can say that it has great power in forcing me to rest and try to relax, or the pain will be exacerbated. Yesterday I learned that my amazing mom would be transferred to a rehabilitation center today. I have been going to the hospital to see her everyday since that scary day nearly two weeks ago when she passed out. 

Many have told me, including my mom, to have some fun and take care of myself, but I really was at a loss for how to do that, even though I have focused this very blog on wellness and self-care-related topics for over a year now. So now as I sit here waiting for one of my mom's cats to come home, who is not cooperating, and feel that familiar annoying pain again, I am trying to stay in the moment, breathe, enjoy the much needed time to rest, be with my mom's other kitties and keep them company, watch an exciting 20-year old movie (Speed--can you believe it came out 20 years ago?!), and be patient. And funny thing, aren't those some of the key ingredients to taking care of myself? 

So as I learn to show gratitude even for the times when I am in pain, I also recognize some of the lessons hidden among the folds of pain. I learn over and over again to focus on the moment, focus on my breath, focus on the importance of resting and not overdoing it, focus on the love of animals and nature, focus on simple enjoyment, and focus on practicing patience. 

After reflecting on all the lessons available in pain, I am starting to warm up to the idea of feeling a bit of gratitude for this monthly reminder to focus on myself and my body and my good. This could actually be a helpful exercise when facing any hardship or frustration. Look underneath the obvious discomfort and find the shiny lessons and wisdom to be gained from the experience. And remember, once learned doesn't necessarily mean you'll remember the next time. This is an exercise, like gratitude, that must be repeated regularly. 

What shiny wisdom can you find underneath your pain or discomfort?

Blessings in Every Hurdle

August 6, 2014

I find myself asking, "What's wrong with me?" this morning as I lounge on the couch and am not motivated to do anything very productive. I hear the answer almost immediately, "You're tired, Marita." "You're exhausted. You're kind of burned out." My body has a way of slowing me down when I get caught up in the busy-ness of everyday life and forget to stop and rest and recharge enough. 

I took today off because it has been 2 years to the day since I had my open surgery. The surgery that cured my Nutcracker Syndrome and eventually, although it took way longer than anyone had anticipated because of an open wound aka. Sparkle, healed the chronic pain I had been living with in 2012. I was lucky though, doctors found a reason for this pain relatively quickly and I had the surgery eight short months after my first big pain attack occurred. Some people live for years with such pain. :(

As I typed this last paragraph, my mind flashed back to a pretty road on Whidbey Island where Geovanny and I visited on our first day trip together three years ago Sunday. :) I remember the excitement of new love and just beginning to get to know what a wonderful person this man is, this man who is now my husband. 

Young love on the ferry back from Whidbey Island, August 3rd of 2011 :)

I am moved to tears when I think of the incredible gifts I have received. I have jumped over a lot of hurdles but I am so blessed! For every hurdle, I believe there are at least five blessings wrapped up in it. As long as I take the time to see the little sparkly blessings, I know it's all been worth it.

On a day like today, I feel lucky to be able to get up out of bed on my own. (Tears again.) I feel lucky to take a shower. I feel lucky to eat almost anything I want and feel hungry when my body needs food. I feel lucky to walk upright. Lucky to go for a hike later today--my post-op-iversary tradition which started last year with summer hikes to Meadowdale Beach, Mt. Rainier and Cougar Mountain. Lucky to be able to go to the bathroom. (I know, TMI, but if you've ever had surgery, you know what I mean and it IS a big deal.) I feel lucky to feel hardly any pain. (I had cramps over the weekend and a headache the last two days, but it was manageable, uncomfortable yes but manageable, because I was still able to function and drive and visit with people and go to work and eat and go for a walk.)

One of our many hikes last summer to the magnificent Meadowdale Beach in Edmonds, WA (where I first started exercising again after my surgery)

After climbing as far as we could on Mt. Rainier, less than a year after my open abdominal surgery!

Cougar Mountain one year ago today for my first post-op-iversary hike with my love :)

So I'm throwing my "should do" list out the window and embracing the much needed rest of a day off. No matter what the reason for the day off, I am listening to my body right now, as the back of my head still pounds a bit, and acknowledging that I still need to rest. Other things can wait. I really won't be "productive" if I don't first take time to rest, relax and rejuvenate myself. 

Whenever my body calls out like this, I think I will start asking instead "How can I feed my body what she needs?" rather than "What is wrong with me?" Because there is nothing wrong with me. My body is working exactly as it should, by telling me when I've overdone it and when I'm in need of some good old fashioned R + R.

So for now, I'm celebrating this 2nd anniversary of my operation by writing this blog from the couch on my smart phone with the birds chirping outside and the kitty cats lying at my feet.

Gussy warming my feet :)

Roo Bear sleeping above me :)

I'm starting to feel better already. :) So thankful for therapeutic writing and for you reading this piece of my heart.

And today it has been 1 whole year since I started writing weekly wellness blogs and 7 months and counting of daily practice posts! 

Frolicking Squirrels as Stress Relief

Tuesday Tranquil Time # 2:

Right now I’m sitting outside on our balcony in a comfy, round chair my mom gave us with Roo-Bear the cat sharing the chair with me, looking out at the sunshine peeking through the heart-shaped leaves of the big, beautiful trees shading our apartment.  For my Tranquil Time on this Tuesday, I’ve decided to rest and reflect after a tiring day.  

I felt ‘meh’ when I first came home today.  Do you know this feeling?  It’s when you’re too exhausted to really even think about anything.  It’s when you don’t even know what you want to eat or where you want to go, despite the beautiful sunshine shining brightly still after work.  It’s when you don’t feel like doing anything.

These kind of days can come to us all and sometimes serve as reminders for what is really important in our lives: love, family, friendship, kindness, nature, inspiring words and people, fresh air, having a warm roof over our heads.  So today I also choose to use my Tuesday Tranquil Time to remember all that I am grateful for and take time to feel this thankfulness deep down in my heart though long, peaceful breaths.

I also want to celebrate the ability to make choices.  I sometimes don’t appreciate this enough and I can feel overwhelmed by all the great opportunities out there at times.  But isn't it grand that we have choices?  That we can choose to go here or there or eat this or that or say one thing or not.  Today I chose to stay home and rest.  I really wanted to go for a hike because it's sunny and nice out, but my body told me to rest because I was physically and mentally exhausted after a long day.  

And while resting out on this peaceful balcony, Roo-Bear and I have been able to witness squirrels frolicking in the trees and taking flight to launch themselves onto the roof above our apartment.  How can one be ‘meh’ while watching frolicking squirrels?  It takes me right out of that state of mind and into a more creative, reflective, appreciative state.  And I am grateful for that.

How do you get rid of a ‘meh’ feeling when it visits you?