A funny thing happened yesterday. I decided to take out a drawing book and draw something for Fun-A-Day, but I met some resistance. Resistance I didn't even know existed. I identify myself as an artist and I pride myself on being open to all kinds of art and trying out all forms of art. But for some reason I couldn't bring myself to draw anything. And then I realized I've been drawing the same four or five shapes or figures since I was a kid! I may have added a palm tree and swirly sunshine here and there in my late teens. But honestly since that time, I don't think I've tried to draw anything new. And even though I told myself, "Hey, come on, try something new," I felt that pit in my stomach, that pit called perfectionism. Roaring her big scared head. (I won't call her ugly. She wouldn't like that.) I didn't want to mess up. I didn't want to draw something not good or even ugly in pen in a pretty book. Permanent.
I may have also been coming up against being tired and not having a lot of time to work through these issues last night, but it really made me realize that I need to work on this. Better put, I need to work through this. I want to work through this. It's important to me to stay open and try new things and express myself through different art forms.
One of my main primary intentions this year is to open up, keep my heart center open and remain open, especially when I feel stressed. And I've been brainstorming heart-opening activities to practice this. And lo and behold, I think drawing needs to be on that list!
It's time to do something a little uncomfortable and mark up the drawing book. Do what I normally wouldn't so I can keep growing. As an artist and a person.
So here goes! (Gotta remember not to hold my breath!) It's time to believe in myself!
"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance."
~Aristotle
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