Holiday Grounding Through Creative Gratitude

This winter solstice I’ve decided to celebrate the increasingly longer days with creative gratitude. The holidays can feel very hectic and rushed at times and that’s when we need to feel grounded most. If not, the stress can get to us and bring our spirit and mood and immune system down.

How do I prefer to get grounded? If it were warm out, I love walking barefoot on the sand or grass, but with it being very frosty out lately, I choose to create art instead. Being creative and expressing ourselves helps us return to the present moment we’re living right now and let go of worries or concerns or to-do lists for a little bit while we dive into a creative project or canvas.

One of my favorite ways to create art is through collaging. I love the freedom of ripping and tearing inspiring images and words out of magazines or junk mail and making something beautiful and unique from it. I also love that it’s a green, eco-friendly art form, using old or unwanted magazines and other printed material in a new and artistic way.

This evening I’m hosting my first online class to demonstrate just this–how to feel more grounded this holiday season by creating gratitude art. We’ll be focusing our collage on what we’re grateful for from this past year. I find reflection around this time of year so helpful and grounding as well so what better way to celebrate the increasing light coming with this solstice than by reflecting on what we’re grateful for.

If you’d like to join me live, follow this link to the Facebook event where I’ll be broadcasting my free class this evening at 5:30pm PST. Looking forward to feeling more grounded and creative with you!

Happiest of holidays!

Maret

3 Ways Gratitude Can Cultivate More Mindfulness in Our Lives

On my journey to greater well-being, creativity and mindfulness, I started out by recording what I was grateful for on a daily basis, thanks to the inspiration of Oprah Winfrey who talked a lot about the importance of having a gratitude practice. It helped me feel more positive and I began to feel a little less anxious. While on this path, I was invited to a dear friend’s spiritual center because she thought I would enjoy the talks because they talked about gratitude a lot. I loved it there! This led me to studying more about mindfulness, which led me to transformative experiences like going on a 5-day silent meditation retreat, starting my own wellness blog, and signing up to become a certified life coach to be able to teach and help others on this incredible journey! All sparked by focusing on gratitude.

So I wanted to share 3 ways that gratitude can lead us to live a more mindful, peaceful, and fulfilling life.

1. Taking a few minutes to remember what we’re grateful for slows us down and has us focusing on one task or feeling or thought in that moment: what we’re thankful for.
2. Recording our gratitude everyday in a journal brings us back to the present moment after a busy day through the action of sitting or standing still for a few minutes, writing or typing most likely with our hands and bringing our attention to the positive and/or simple things in our lives.
3. Feeling thankful helps us stop negative thoughts or spiraling worries or feelings of lack and brings us to a place of peace by remembering all we already have.

Do you have a regular practice of remembering what you’re grateful for in life? 

I find it’s especially important during life’s darkest moments but if it can sustained during the joyful moments too, you’ll create a positive habit that will see you through future challenges when they arise and ground you in the present grateful moment.

Happy Thanksgiving! I’m grateful you’re reading this.

Namaste,

Maret

P.S. Would you like support in cultivating more mindfulness in your life? Contact me on my sister site, Maret Carrillo Coaching: Owning Your Goodness to find out more about my transformational life coaching packages.

Embracing My Sentimentalism

In true Brene Brown style, I looked up the definition of sentimentalism and Google said it means excessive tenderness, sadness or nostalgia. And you know what, I think I'm okay with that because if I'm going to be excessive about anything, I think tenderness is right up there with excessive fruit and vegetable eating. :) I have been sentimental for almost as long as I can remember. Maybe it's my astrological chart with 5 planets in water, maybe it's growing up seeing my sweet momma getting teary-eyed at emotional commercials, maybe it's my love for photography and recording fun memories to look back on. I was even my high school honor society's historian one year. (A perfect role for me really!) Then scrapbooking became popular and I ate that up! Then later on with smartphones and social media, apps like Timehop and Facebook started reminding of pictures and posts we created a year or more ago. 

I love that stuff. I eat it up. And I think it's time to embrace it. I don't want to hide it or cover it up. Yep, I'm sentimental and it makes me who I am and if that involves excessive tenderness and nostalgia, I'm okay with it. The excessive sadness can get pretty heavy at times though, but don't they say that you can't truly cherish the sunshine without some rainy or cloudy days? We who live in the beautiful, mostly gray Pacific Northwest know this metaphor well. It makes us love and appreciate the sunny weather even more. And well, if there are too many days of sunshine in a row like a few weeks ago, we start to even long for the cloudier days.

How can we learn to embrace even our sadness? Of course we don't want to live there all the time, but sadness happens, nostalgia happens, and it's a normal part of life. My baby girl, who I waited years and years to meet and hold in my arms finally, is turning one in a few weeks and I've been feeling very sentimental about it. I love watching her grow and learn and develop her sweet spunky little personality! And at the same time, I want to enjoy every milestone and moment with her so much that I want to slow time down. 

I've been thinking about the amazing past year with her and to be honest, some moments are already foggy and that makes me sad, even though I know it's part of parenthood. The amnesia of those first days. And then sometimes regrets start knocking on my door--I should have written down more memories or taken more videos or this or that--but the truth is we sometimes don't know what we’ll want to have as memories until the time has already past. 

Hindsight really is 20/20. And coming back to gratitude and recognizing all that I have recorded of her first days, of my first days as her mama, is key. It grounds me and reminds me to relish in what I do remember and hug her even tighter in this moment, right now. If only mindfulness were more a part of parenting and childbirth ed classes. Because it's really what gets me through hard times. That and love. The ginormous love I feel for this incredible little human being we created! It's overwhelming and comforting and all-encompassing all at the same time! I love her SO much! Words just don't express the enormity of my feelings about her and being her mama. What a truly awe-inspiring gift! And the most challenging and rewarding journey I've been on. I still try to find words to express how I feel about being her mom but my heart really bursts with so much more than words. And with all that tenderness, of course vulnerability and even anxiety accompany these big feelings. Like our doula put so beautifully when Luna was first born, it's like having our hearts on the outside of our body now. 

How do you process big feelings like this? Both loving and anxiety-causing feelings? And a mix?

If you'd like to learn more about life coaching and wellness education services, check out my sister site at Maret Carrillo Coaching: Owning Your Goodness (http://owningyourgoodness.wordpress.com).

3 Ways to Transform Mommy Guilt

Disclaimer: Even if you're not a parent, these tips can be helpful in transforming any nagging, pesky feelings like anxiety, other kinds of guilt, or plain old stress. 

8 and a half months into this amazing and wild journey of motherhood and I'm beginning to see how detrimental a thing called “mommy guilt” can be. If you're a mom or know someone who is a mom really well, then you probably know what I'm talking about. All those parenting books, “helpful” tips and pediatric association recommendations have wonderful intentions, but for those of us trying to do our absolute best with little sleep (or in my case, interrupted night sleep every few hours to dream feed) and high expectations and hopes for our incredible little humans we're raising, the pressure to get everything “right” can feel unbearable at times and downright paralyzing.

When I was pregnant, I got a few books to begin “preparing” for motherhood but all the facts and information overwhelmed me and I knew that wasn't the way I was going to figure things out. Trusting in my natural ability to mother was my intention and challenge. My husband and I thankfully took an empowering childbirth ed class called Birthing From Within, which focused more on our emotional preparation than on facts and information overload. That was the style that resonated most with me. I didn't feel as much pressure to do things perfectly and it was really good preparation for the days, weeks and months that would follow with our baby girl.

But the darker days of winter arrived a few months after my baby girl was born, lack of uninterrupted sleep compiled and post-inaugural angst mixed with postpartum hormones and I slowly found myself easily overwhelmed, highly anxious, and at times feeling underprepared and inadequate at being a mother. It's a truly awful feeling to not know what to do next when you know time is flying by faster than ever and you don't want to miss a precious second with your growing and changing little one.

I think I went through a clingy phase just like my daughter experiences now. I grew her inside me and she was attached to me nursing for practically three months straight so I can see how hard it is for our babies to accept the fact we are separate beings because I had a hard time getting used to it too.

And then you begin to get used to being separated for a little bit longer, perhaps to get some self-care time in while your partner gets bonding time with the baby or if you decide to go back to work. But that realization can feel a bit depressing because you miss being so connected to another human being, to who you grew inside you. And wanting time for yourself can trigger the pesky “mommy guilt” alarm in your head...”What if my baby purple cries while I'm away?” And maybe even harder yet, “What if she doesn't miss me? What if she does just fine?”

And then my milk comes in and my baby instinctively knows it and that intuitive, almost spiritual connection is felt again.

So how to transform Mommy guilt, that is the question. I like to enlist 3 of my favorite remedies that work for a lot of what ails me.

Apply these everyday if you can (or at least at first as often as you remember):

• A dose of MINDFULNESS--staying in the present moment and relishing in what you’re doing right now, in this instance (rather than dwelling in what you should have done or could have done if you’d known more, been smarter, read more, had more money, etc. etc. etc.) helps ground you and with grounding, you regain your footing and don’t feel as wobbly. Feeling secure in what’s happening in this moment is so important in building back our intuition and confidence.
• Daily GRATITUDE--remembering regularly how truly grateful you are for this precious human being you’ve brought into the world--it’s a kind of gratitude that is almost beyond words, I’ve found, but it’s necessary to reflect on it each day and dwell in thankfulness each day. And if it’s a really hard day, focusing on the air you’re breathing, on the roof over your head, and the bed you sleep in also help us soak up feelings of gratefulness. Those feelings are what fill our hearts back up when we are tired and/or feeling depleted emotionally from “mommy guilt.”
• More CREATIVITY--unleashing your creative side by doing something you love to do helps bring you into the present by focusing on that one thing, helps build back your confidence in yourself because you’re doing something you enjoy and grows your intuitive nature in the process as you create something new and reconnect with your joy. Trust me, I know there’s not a lot of time between naps and early (or late) bedtimes, but finding a little bit of time to create something at least each week will help. And it can be as simple or complicated as trying a new recipe, ripping up paper and making a quick mosaic or mini collage/vision board, coloring (inside or outside the lines!), singing, taking pictures, knitting, dancing, writing, whatever it is that you enjoyed creating before you created a beautiful little human.

When we feel more grounded and our intuition and confidence are back up, we can better tackle nasty things like “mommy guilt.” We’ll recognize the nagging feelings more quickly and apply any and all of these remedies to them before they get the better of us.

If you need support, I became a certified transformational life coach to be able to help inspire people on their journeys to greater wellness, creativity and joy for life. I’m happy to help. Send me a note on my sister site here, even if just to say hola!

If you're sleep deprived and just barely getting through this blog post, know at least this: you are IMPORTANT and it is necessary for us to praise all the AMAZING things we do and treat ourselves with the same KINDNESS we offer to our sweet babies or other people's sweet babies.

With love and gratitude,

Maret

One Month To Go

Lately--obviously--really all that's been on my mind is our sweet baby getting ready for her world debut on or around September 2nd, which is one month from today. I had lofty goals of getting other things done in my life as well before her debut but now I'm really just hunkering down and embracing her pending arrival with love and patience and faith. I can't overdo it at this point. There are many things to get done at my work, many things to complete at home, many to-do lists to check off, and many things I'd like to do between now and when we get to meet our baby girl. The blackhole work has taken a pause--such is life. My budding coaching business has taken a pause as well--stay tuned for coaching packages available in 2017 though. :) And now most of my energy is dedicated to the greatest life transition of all--parenthood. It's really the ultimate lesson in letting go of perfection and embracing our whole selves, embracing the inherent love we have inside each of us. Because with all that love, we can really do anything. I pray I can keep positivity at the forefront throughout this beautiful journey we're about to embark upon, despite not sleeping as much or not knowing what we're doing all of the time. If we can fully embrace the journey, relish in the gratitude of being so blessed to be on this amazing journey, and fill ourselves up over and over again with the absolute love that we have for this sweet baby girl, we can accomplish anything.

You are so loved, Baby Girl!

Staying Grounded and Blogging from the Blackhole: Week 3

So I've begun to notice that the "Blackhole" can really be anything that triggers overwhelm. It doesn't just have to be a corner in the closet that overwhelms me or a pile of papers still lingering by the dresser, but it can also be a purse filled with a variety of to-do lists! That is what I discovered this week in my quest to blog from the Blackhole. Yes, I know--I'm probably starting to nest a bit as I have a little more than 9 weeks to go before we get to meet our beautiful baby girl. :) But I am also working through overwhelm and want to share a thought I've had recently.

One of the lessons I've begun to realize from my time with overwhelm and the Blackhole is that staying grounded is key. This is actually key for most of life's challenges and joys. Because no matter how happy, grateful, blessed, or stressed we're feeling, staying grounded will help us either relish in the beautiful moment or shift our view of the difficult moment and find the lesson in the present moment. And finding a lesson within a difficult moment is one of the only sure ways to gain perspective and start living in joy again.

I know that life isn't just about living in joy, because life's difficult moments help bring us to gratitude for the full range of feelings, emotions, and lessons we get to experience here. And that gratitude is what makes life matter.

With gratitude we are truly alive.

So my lesson for the next 9 or so weeks until I get to meet our truly miraculous and wonderful baby girl is to stay grounded in gratitude and in love.

It's a lesson for more than just the next few amazing months; it's a way of living life.

Angels All Around

I want to write a quick blog tonight to thank my devoted angels for protecting our baby girl and me yesterday. I was on my way to work like every morning, waiting at a stoplight when boom, I heard a loud noise and everything in my car lurched forward! Someone had just rear ended me. Because I was at a stoplight, thankfully it was at a low speed. But I immediately went into Mommy Mode and held my belly, praying our baby wasn't injured. I didn't feel any pain myself, only concern for my little miracle growing inside. After exchanging information with the guy who hit me, I called my husband and while on the phone felt the wonderful gentle kicks and pokes of our baby girl! Qué alivio! What a relief! She's moving! We still decided to call our midwife who recommended going to the ER to make sure the baby and her placenta were okay. 

We spent 3+ hours in the hospital and I signed the first paperwork as a parent, giving consent to monitor the baby's heartbeat and activity. The nurses were impressed that at only 24 weeks they could hear her heartbeat so clearly. She moved around a lot too which made me feel even more relieved. After monitoring for over an hour, they sent us home to rest. Only after getting home did I really start feeling sore but with a very grateful heart that our baby girl is healthy song wasn't affected by the accident. 

Our angels were truly watching over us and lessening the impact of the crash with their gentle wings. I know not everyone believes in angels but I have had them with me making sure I'm safe my whole life. I believe that my grandparents who I never had the opportunity to meet because they passed in a tragic car accident when my mom was only 16 are always with me. And in the past 5 years I have gained more angels. 4 close friends and my other grandma on my dad's side. I know in my heart that they are with me still, just in a different form. I consistently see hummingbirds, which are symbols from the after life, along with feathers and pennies appearing out of nowhere. I also notice when it's 11:11 and see these numbers frequently, which are said to be signs from the angels as well. 

So this post is dedicated to my angels and my baby's angels. We are forever grateful. Thank you for watching over us and softening the impact of the crash yesterday. And for all you do that we aren't even aware of yet. :)

I trust life because I know angels are real.

 

 

 

Sol de Gratitud

Today I'm mixing gratitude with art, which fills me up with good energy. I'm thankful for happening to see a really neat idea on Pinterest and feeling inspired to create my own "mandala of gratitude" or as I like to call it: Sol de Gratitud. For I am grateful for the sun everyday, even when I can't see it. The sun is a lot like faith, isn't it? Especially when you live in the Seattle area, it's a lesson in faith when the clouds or fog come. I should add that to my sun. I'm grateful for the clouds for they teach me to trust in the ever-present sun. 

I think this is just my first gratitude sun too. Last year I wrote what I was grateful for almost everyday. This year I feel called to drawing and singing. So maybe I will draw and sing about what I'm grateful for. I like being able to write within my art though too. :)

What fills you with good energy?

Finding the Shiny Bits Underneath the Pain

My body always finds a way to slow me down and give me rest.

I can't say quite yet that I'm grateful for my good ol' monthly pain reminder--I think I'm not quite that spiritually evolved--but I can say that it has great power in forcing me to rest and try to relax, or the pain will be exacerbated. Yesterday I learned that my amazing mom would be transferred to a rehabilitation center today. I have been going to the hospital to see her everyday since that scary day nearly two weeks ago when she passed out. 

Many have told me, including my mom, to have some fun and take care of myself, but I really was at a loss for how to do that, even though I have focused this very blog on wellness and self-care-related topics for over a year now. So now as I sit here waiting for one of my mom's cats to come home, who is not cooperating, and feel that familiar annoying pain again, I am trying to stay in the moment, breathe, enjoy the much needed time to rest, be with my mom's other kitties and keep them company, watch an exciting 20-year old movie (Speed--can you believe it came out 20 years ago?!), and be patient. And funny thing, aren't those some of the key ingredients to taking care of myself? 

So as I learn to show gratitude even for the times when I am in pain, I also recognize some of the lessons hidden among the folds of pain. I learn over and over again to focus on the moment, focus on my breath, focus on the importance of resting and not overdoing it, focus on the love of animals and nature, focus on simple enjoyment, and focus on practicing patience. 

After reflecting on all the lessons available in pain, I am starting to warm up to the idea of feeling a bit of gratitude for this monthly reminder to focus on myself and my body and my good. This could actually be a helpful exercise when facing any hardship or frustration. Look underneath the obvious discomfort and find the shiny lessons and wisdom to be gained from the experience. And remember, once learned doesn't necessarily mean you'll remember the next time. This is an exercise, like gratitude, that must be repeated regularly. 

What shiny wisdom can you find underneath your pain or discomfort?

Blessings in Every Hurdle

August 6, 2014

I find myself asking, "What's wrong with me?" this morning as I lounge on the couch and am not motivated to do anything very productive. I hear the answer almost immediately, "You're tired, Marita." "You're exhausted. You're kind of burned out." My body has a way of slowing me down when I get caught up in the busy-ness of everyday life and forget to stop and rest and recharge enough. 

I took today off because it has been 2 years to the day since I had my open surgery. The surgery that cured my Nutcracker Syndrome and eventually, although it took way longer than anyone had anticipated because of an open wound aka. Sparkle, healed the chronic pain I had been living with in 2012. I was lucky though, doctors found a reason for this pain relatively quickly and I had the surgery eight short months after my first big pain attack occurred. Some people live for years with such pain. :(

As I typed this last paragraph, my mind flashed back to a pretty road on Whidbey Island where Geovanny and I visited on our first day trip together three years ago Sunday. :) I remember the excitement of new love and just beginning to get to know what a wonderful person this man is, this man who is now my husband. 

Young love on the ferry back from Whidbey Island, August 3rd of 2011 :)

I am moved to tears when I think of the incredible gifts I have received. I have jumped over a lot of hurdles but I am so blessed! For every hurdle, I believe there are at least five blessings wrapped up in it. As long as I take the time to see the little sparkly blessings, I know it's all been worth it.

On a day like today, I feel lucky to be able to get up out of bed on my own. (Tears again.) I feel lucky to take a shower. I feel lucky to eat almost anything I want and feel hungry when my body needs food. I feel lucky to walk upright. Lucky to go for a hike later today--my post-op-iversary tradition which started last year with summer hikes to Meadowdale Beach, Mt. Rainier and Cougar Mountain. Lucky to be able to go to the bathroom. (I know, TMI, but if you've ever had surgery, you know what I mean and it IS a big deal.) I feel lucky to feel hardly any pain. (I had cramps over the weekend and a headache the last two days, but it was manageable, uncomfortable yes but manageable, because I was still able to function and drive and visit with people and go to work and eat and go for a walk.)

One of our many hikes last summer to the magnificent Meadowdale Beach in Edmonds, WA (where I first started exercising again after my surgery)

After climbing as far as we could on Mt. Rainier, less than a year after my open abdominal surgery!

Cougar Mountain one year ago today for my first post-op-iversary hike with my love :)

So I'm throwing my "should do" list out the window and embracing the much needed rest of a day off. No matter what the reason for the day off, I am listening to my body right now, as the back of my head still pounds a bit, and acknowledging that I still need to rest. Other things can wait. I really won't be "productive" if I don't first take time to rest, relax and rejuvenate myself. 

Whenever my body calls out like this, I think I will start asking instead "How can I feed my body what she needs?" rather than "What is wrong with me?" Because there is nothing wrong with me. My body is working exactly as it should, by telling me when I've overdone it and when I'm in need of some good old fashioned R + R.

So for now, I'm celebrating this 2nd anniversary of my operation by writing this blog from the couch on my smart phone with the birds chirping outside and the kitty cats lying at my feet.

Gussy warming my feet :)

Roo Bear sleeping above me :)

I'm starting to feel better already. :) So thankful for therapeutic writing and for you reading this piece of my heart.

And today it has been 1 whole year since I started writing weekly wellness blogs and 7 months and counting of daily practice posts! 

Lessons of Gratitude

At the beginning of 2014, I decided to write a page in a journal each night before going to sleep to remember what I was grateful for during that day.  I remember when Oprah talked about gratitude journals years ago and how much I liked the idea, but I never actually created a habit of it until I set it as an intention for this year.  As tired as I am some nights, I still write in my journal and it has really helped me sleep sounder, wake up with a more positive mindset, recover from stressful situations more quickly, and I've only been writing in this journal for a little over a month.  I intend to continue this practice of recognizing gratitude in my life indefinitely.  I have realized that when it is most difficult to sit down and write in my journal and think about what I'm grateful for, that is when I need to write in it most, and when I need to remember my gratitude the most.  If we can only write that we are grateful for breathing and being able to wake up in the morning, that's a wonderful place to start, and a very grounding place to start as well.

I think I didn't really see the effects of this practice until 2 or 3 weeks had passed, so it's very important to keep going with your intention of gratitude, because no habits formed are formed over night and even though I felt good every time I remembered to write in my journal, I didn't notice the overall effects on my wellness until it had become a regular practice for me and I could tell I wasn't upset as long as I used to be when something difficult would happen to me.  Also in the past, when I've missed a day of a practice or habit I wanted to form and maintain, I sometimes felt the perfectionism creep in and say, why bother.  But I am here to say that the benefits are still positive when you pick up where you left off and start again.  Last night, after being sick all day from a stomach infection, I was not up to writing anything anywhere, and so I didn't--the first time since the new year began that I missed a night of gratitude, but when I woke up this morning, still feeling queasy but able to hold down food at least, I decided to pick up where I left off and write about my gratitude from yesterday after I woke up today.  I did the same with my daily abundance practice that I've created for the month of February.  I couldn't post about abundance last night because I was too sick, so I wrote my post for yesterday about an hour ago.  Better late than never!  I refuse to let perfectionism stop me from achieving my goals and intentions.

What are you grateful for?  Have you created a regular practice of gratitude before?  Please share your thoughts on this blog's Facebook page.

Little Things Matter

I decided to combine my photography of today's amazing sunset with my love of affirmations and so I created a blollage (I made that word up to combine blog and collage!) for my blog post this week.  I also had fun making this blollage so my Fun-A-Day challenge #21 has been fulfilled as well.

I have really found in the past 3 weeks that doing little things everyday makes a BIG difference.  I have realized this in just adding simple things like meditating/praying every morning, creating something for Fun-A-Day everyday, usually in the evening, and writing in my gratitude journal every night before bed.

I start the day out with strength, am able to express myself creatively through Fun-A-Day, and end the day remembering what I'm grateful for.  It's the best way to get through any day--whether it be an easy one or a challenging one.  And after 21 days, I find myself craving these activities so I can say now that more than just a habit has been formed, a new way of living and thriving has been created.  Getting through your day struggling to come up for air is merely surviving, but paying tribute, creating and feeling gratitude are all things on the beautiful, golden or rainbow-colored road of thrival.  I most definitely prefer to thrive than just survive.

I feel so much more alive in my heart and soul when I'm creating and feeling grateful, rather than just going through the day "getting by."  Getting by doesn't fulfill me.  I know this now.  And if I let myself go too long just getting by, my mind and body start to rebel.  So it's just like flossing or eating your vegetables everyday, meditating and creating and feeling grateful are necessary steps to take for my overall health. Like doctor's orders, but in this case, I made the rules; I'm the doctor; I'm the master of my own future and so I'm choosing to take part in joyous activities whenever it's possible.  Some days it's only been a few minutes posting a quick photo I took to achieve my Fun-A-Day but other days I have enough time to go on a nature walk and really look at all that I've created and choose which one I would like to share with you.

So no matter how little time we have to work on the things that bring us joy, the most important thing is to keep doing them, every day, so that we crave them and they become as common to us as driving to work or eating lunch or brushing our teeth.  That is my hope.  To make joy a regular part of my day, every day.

Inside My Anti-Stress Backpack

I first learned how to truly relax and let go when I lived abroad in Ecuador and started taking long, leisurely walks on the beach to work each day.  I was also intrigued by the more laid-back way of life in the small town where I taught English and learned to embrace this attitude wholeheartedly.  When I returned to the States though, I began to research ways to maintain that sense of peace and relaxation I found on the beaches of Ecuador and live a more relaxed life despite being in a sometimes chaotic, rushed and ever-changing environment back in America.  I feel it is important to keep a list of the tools I've found helpful in discovering ways to relax and find peace in a stressful world, and I LOVE lists!  So I have created a list of some of my favorite relaxation techniques as a way of sharing my research with others and reminding myself to follow my own advice during chaotic times.

1. Breathe.  Don't forget to breathe!  I am constantly reminding myself of this and counting to 5 before letting go of my breath several times can be enough to bring peace and calm to my heart and bring me back to balance in frazzled times.  If you have a hard time finding the time and/or patience to sit down and breathe more often, I found that practicing in a group was very helpful, such as in a meditation class or a mindfulness retreat.  I have also found excellent ideas in the Stress Management Guide from Elizabeth Scott, M.S.  

2. Allow.  This is a relatively new practice for me that I read recently from one of my all-time favorite authors, SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) who wrote about the importance of allowing others to be as they are and not try or wish to change them.  Just reading this statement every now and then throughout my day has helped relax me and helped me focus on the only person I have any control over, which is myself.  I know, it sounds selfish or egotistical but I've learned that this is the best thing for everyone around you, to really take care of yourself and shower yourself with as much love as you can give.

3. Affirm.  I think one of the single most helpful ways of moving forward and letting my resilience shine through is by surrounding myself with positive affirming statements and quotes which inspire me to focus on all the wonder and beauty in my life. I have found many moving quotes and affirmations on the Beliefnet website, along with countless tips and strategies for moving past pain and finding balance in your life.  I also enjoy the uplifting messages I receive every morning from the Universe via TUT.  And on my iPhone, I get reminders every morning to read an encouraging and inspiring quote from Karen Salmansohn. After my second mindfulness retreat, I discovered an excellent mindfulness app for my smart phone called The Now and it sends me food for thought and things to try to help me stay in this present moment.  Since I often need constant reminders during busy, stressful times to stay afloat and in a positive light, these have really helped me.

4. Show Gratitude.  Often I see lists that state we must be grateful for all that we have, but I think it is even more effective if we show gratitude to others and to Mother Nature through our actions so we are putting gratitude in action.  Taking action and showing gratitude helps us remember the feeling that the action creates inside us and can help us relax into the present moment and thus feel grateful for all we have.  Also by focusing on all that we have, we draw more positive energy to ourselves. Oprah has written about this many times.  So I would challenge you, if you're already keeping a gratefulness journal to share one of the things you're thankful for with a close friend or someone you love. It could be simply be through offering a helping hand or being a compassionate listener to a friend in need or through a letter or message of thanks to express how thankful you are for having that person in your life.  But I know that sometimes I'm not in the mood to express my gratitude to another person so I think it can be just as valuable to pay homage or reverence to a beautiful tree, a gorgeous sunset, a colorful, cheerful bird, anything in nature that helps you appreciate this amazing planet in which we live.  I have said "hi" to mountains and little animals out in nature since I was a young girl.  At first I thought it was just something quirky that I did but now I know it was my way of paying tribute to nature and really appreciating all the beauty around me.  I have also found it helpful to publicly express my gratitude via social media sites, like Facebook, everyday for a month.  It helps build a habit of looking for something to be grateful for no matter what your day was like and helps shift your focus back to the positive.  Try to make a habit of showing your gratitude for life everyday.  I think it really does help.  (Now I just need to tattoo this to my arm so I never forget!)

I know lists can sometimes be overwhelming or feel like they're not enough to solve all our problems, but I find that coming upon different lists like this in times of struggle really do help me stay focused in the moment and as I continue to grow my knowledge of wellness and self-care, I add a helpful little something to my anti-stress backpack every time.

May we live life with ease.

Peace be with you.

Deciding to Rewrite My History

Recently I read a great line from Tess Marshall of The Bold Life on rewriting our history and I felt compelled to reflect on this and write about it.  I spent much of 2012 dealing with some quite challenging health issues and feeling a bit beside myself and at times sorry for myself because of the chronic, debilitating pain I experienced before having open, abdominal surgery and the acute, agonizing pain I felt post-op due to an infection and open wound as a result, that took 4 long months to heal.  

But what if I chose to rewrite that history for myself?  What if I chose to view and remember all the wonderful things I learned from these challenges and also all the wonderful things that happened at the same time as all these challenges?  Wouldn’t last year’s traumas then have more value and meaning for my overall story and life experience? I think so!

If I shift my focus and instead of remembering all the pain, instead remember all the love I received and was able to give, 2012 is illuminated in a whole new light. A light of learning to trust with all my being and falling deeply in love with my soulmate and now husband, of being gentle and loving with my other soulmate--me!--and of returning to my childhood home to be cared for so tenderly by my dear, sweet, patient mother.

I get a little teary-eyed and start to beam with love and light when I reflect and remember ALL THIS LOVE that filled my life last year. I would MOST definitely prefer to remember all the love, rather all the pain! So here I begin. To rewrite my history. It feels good. It feels positive. Proactive. And fills me with thanksgiving. Like a gratitude journal for the past. That's it! So whenever there is a painful part of your past that might return to haunt you from time to time, remember what you were grateful for during that time. Even if it seems hard. I know there's something. If you have trouble, remember you're alive. That's a BIG something to be thankful for, isn't it?

Photo taken today in Lake Forest Park, Washington by yours truly, la Ecua-Gringa.