Befriending Stress

I’ve started to grow tired of hearing or reading over and over again about “avoiding stress” or “combating stress.”  Do we really have to be at battle or go to war with a natural process? I know some forms of stress don’t feel very good in the moment, but I don’t think it’s actually the stress itself that is the issue. It’s how we react and respond to the stressors. So instead of avoiding or combating, wouldn’t it be more effective to actually befriend it and show it compassion so that responding--instead of reacting--can be made easier? Wouldn’t you rather respond gently to a friend than react violently to an enemy? Which do you think is better for your overall health? I’m thinking friendly interactions feel better and thus are better for us. And if stress is such a common phenomenon that we really deal with every day, wouldn’t it be more helpful and beneficial to our overall well-being to learn how to interact with it, rather than avoid it or fight it all the time? I’m tired of fighting it. I surrender. Now I want to befriend it and show it compassion like I would a friend. Because it’s a real part of our lives and as I learn how to respond gently to stress, won’t I feel lighter and more peaceful and gentle myself?

But I consider myself a grass-roots, down-to-earth kind of person and I want some really practical ways to “befriend” our stress.  It’s easy enough to say or write it down, but how do we actually do it? I believe for any positive change to take place, we must come from a grounded space, well-rested and settled into our center--our core, through deep breathing, mindful awareness of everyday activities, taking our sweet time and not rushing, and through relishing in what we love and giving ourselves the gift of time to do what we love. And if we’re feeling uninspired to do what we love, it’s probably time for more rest and especially time for greater self-compassion, because one of the greatest gifts we gain from doing what we love is making time for us. Yes, US! (I know, hard to believe, huh?) I know it might feel like there isn’t enough time--trust me, I feel this way a lot too--but I have to consistently remind myself that we make time for what we love, we don’t necessarily HAVE time for all we love. 

So instead of doing something that’s not necessary and that we don’t really love, why not redirect our focus and our time to doing something that enlivens us and fills us with inspired passion, joy and energy for life?  One big time sucker is social media. I really do believe that feeling that social connection with our friends and family who we don’t get to see regularly can help cultivate deeper relationships, but I also believe that we enter a kind of time warp when we're on social media where time flies by and before we know it, we’ve spent an hour reading random posts that don’t have much to do with our life mission or our passion or even our close family and friends’ updates. At the same time though, I can see the therapeutic value to watching funny videos or seeing cute photos because it gets us out of our head and worries and we de-stress through laughter. But everything is better with moderation. I’m seriously considering setting the timer on my smart phone before I enter a social media site and when I hear the timer go off after a predetermined amount of time, then I can reevaluate if this is really how I want to spend another 15 minutes of my precious free time. And if it isn’t, then there’s a wonderful opportunity to put down the phone and do something creative.

I feel very fortunate to have been introduced to the Fun-A-Day Challenge 2 years ago this month. Through this challenge, I vowed to have fun creating something new each day of the sometimes dreary month of January. And through a group on social media dedicated to “Fun-A-Day” (see, there are multiple benefits indeed...befriend your social media as well, just don’t let it control all your time!) I had one of my first tastes of forming a daily practice and of having accountability partners that awaited my post each day and in turn which motivated me to follow through and fulfill my vow to have fun each day. :-) The sweet taste of a daily practice expanded beyond the month of January and I decided to post something each day that year, in 2014. (You can see links to each of my monthly intentions with corresponding daily posts from 2014 on the left-hand side of this page.) And I think this was a real turning point in my life and in my wellness-focused studies, because I was finally dedicating time each day to what I had studied and read about for years before, what I was so desperately seeking in a well-balanced life was finally coming to fruition through the gift of daily practice. I highly recommend it to anyone feeling stuck or wanting to finally take that next step in their life towards their big dreams.

So maybe that’s my answer to a grass-roots, more down-to-earth way to befriend stress: create a daily practice--if anything, a practice of daily self-kindness, of making time for yourself to do something that inspires you or lights you up, fills you with energy and makes you feel more alive.  Because with that increased energy and inspiration, stress may no longer look like an enemy which can help us shift our perspective and way we view stress. After all, stress may actually be set up to remind us to slow down, take better care of ourselves, ground ourselves through deep breathing, increase our mindful awareness, and make time for what we love. That does sound more like a friend now, huh?

Would you ever consider making friends with your stress? How would you go about it? I'd love to hear from you! Email me at: maritakane@gmail.com or connect with me on Facebook. :-)

With love and gratitude,
Marita

Stay tuned for Marita's coaching and workshop debut!

Letting Go and Starting Anew - A Year in Review

Each New Year’s Eve I like to look back at the past year and take some time to reflect and learn from all I experienced. Last Sunday I participated in one of my New Year's traditions. Five years ago, my dear friend, Julie took me to her family’s church for an end of the year burning bowl ceremony. It’s where you release what is no longer serving you and make room for the new. Ever since, I have looked forward to this ritual each December. 

This ritual reminds me of an Ecuadorian tradition to burn “anoviejos” at midnight on New Year’s. Anoviejos are paper mache figurines that represent the previous year and are burned to release the old year and start afresh. The anoviejos can be range from super heroes to even political figures. 

Although I probably won’t be burning an anoviejo this year, one of the best examples of letting go today may be with this blog post. I had just completed and hit “publish” on a beautiful post that I spent the morning working on just now and then lost it! Puff! Vanished into thin cyberspace air. Devastating to lose my creative work but then I began to shift my perspective and see what a lesson it is of the very subject I was writing about. We just have to keep going and start fresh again. Just like the new year. I’m sad to not be able to share my original post with all of you but I did save an earlier version of the content so I will do my best to start again. (Like in life, huh?) And tonight I will eat 12 grapes at midnight, another favorite Ecuadorian tradition of mine.

So here goes...

Almost a year ago, I officially started my journey to become a transformational life coach. (In reality, I had begun this journey years before as I researched ways to better manage stress and help people around as well.) I met some of the most amazing and caring people in my coaching class. I also gained the experience and confidence to offer more workshops and even facilitate a session at an in-service day for support staff where I work. Professionally, I also got a new job that’s closer to my home and is in a more supportive environment with a window that has a few of a protected green area where I’ve seen deer, coyote, and even an owl. 

We took several trips to fun places, both nearby and far away. Our travels took us to beautiful, tranquil Whidbey Island to celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary, to Yakima and wine country to celebrate the last of summer, to Portland to visit close friends and their babies, to Grayland, WA for my dear cousin’s graduation party.

We also found a little piece of heaven on Earth in Canoa - Ecuador and up above the clouds of Quito - Ecuador as we visited many wonderful friends and family. 

Our friends and family took us to most amazing places in Ecuador, like a waterfall hike by the famous Otavalo marketplace, fresh fish in Salango for Thanksgiving after an adventure in driving down the Ruta del Sol on the Ecuadorian coast, standing at the Westernmost point of South America and watching the sea lions sunbathe, driving over the Andes Mountains in 3 hours through some of the most breathtaking countryside I've seen, getting a little lost in the valleys near Cuenca but in the end finding a delicious traditional lunch, playing with wonderful children. We are truly blessed to have had the chance to spend 3 weeks in our second home of Ecuador this year!

My husband, Geovanny and I went on beautiful nature hikes and drove late at night to stargaze and see supermoons, Venus and Jupiter, and even the Star of Bethelem! We enjoyed parties with friends and family in our still new apartment and spent time by my brother-in-law’s pool over the summer. I got to see and hear the amazing orca whales pass right below while staying in an incredible house on San Juan Island with dear friends from middle school. I went on my first business trip flying to Spokane for a conference and venturing to see my dad in beautiful Idaho one evening as well. 

I trained with my best bud, Emily to walk my first half-marathon in September. (We completed it in a little over 4 hours.) I decided to take out most gluten, corn, soy, caffeine, and sugar from my diet (that last one is still a journey though of course). And I no longer have to take allergy pills everyday as a result! 

I’m very grateful to have had the opportunity and Divine timing to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends, help her feel safe in her journey to Heaven, and hold her family in love and light. My faith increased as signs from my new angel friend graced the skies over and over again before and after her passing. I feel blessed to have captured so many in photos, as they serve as reminders to look up more often and trust in a higher power.

I didn't blog as much as I had set out to do, but I did participate in another Fun-A-Day challenge last January. (My first Fun-A-Day challenge in 2014 inspired me to post a little blog nearly everyday of the year that year!) In May I posted nature pictures everyday for about a month as a way to dedicate time just for me. I also added 18 mini-collages to my collage book.

So what's in store for next year? Stay tuned! It's sure to be a bright and promising 2016!

Sol de Gratitud

Today I'm mixing gratitude with art, which fills me up with good energy. I'm thankful for happening to see a really neat idea on Pinterest and feeling inspired to create my own "mandala of gratitude" or as I like to call it: Sol de Gratitud. For I am grateful for the sun everyday, even when I can't see it. The sun is a lot like faith, isn't it? Especially when you live in the Seattle area, it's a lesson in faith when the clouds or fog come. I should add that to my sun. I'm grateful for the clouds for they teach me to trust in the ever-present sun. 

I think this is just my first gratitude sun too. Last year I wrote what I was grateful for almost everyday. This year I feel called to drawing and singing. So maybe I will draw and sing about what I'm grateful for. I like being able to write within my art though too. :)

What fills you with good energy?

Doodling to Destress

Today at lunch, even though I only had a little under a half an hour to eat, I sat in the rich sunshine and doodling this little tribute to the sun and moon with a highlighter I had with me. It's simple, but it made me feel more artsy and creative and more connected to my true self. I am artist. And even if I don't get paid to create art, I can still create it virtually whenever I feel like it, and from the Fun-A-Day challenge this month, I am learning to recognize the difference in how I feel on the days when I make time for my art and how much more relaxed I am. Doodling truly is a great destresser! I may need to get a little doodle book to have with me while on walks and out and about so my art can be accessible whenever inspiration hits. :)

Do you doodle? How does it make you feel?

Standing in My Strength

Wow! It's sometimes hard to believe this month is already coming to a close. I feel like it's sped by without a lot of time for reflection. But luckily that's where you come in. This blog has been such a wonderful source for reflecting and sharing this past year and a half. It helps keep me focused and also allows me space to stretch and explore and discover and grow.

Lately I have felt tested to stand up for what I believe is right and stay true to my heart. With this comes a reminder of my inner strengths and a look back at my journey to discovering, recognizing, and most importantly owning my most dependable strengths...my spiritual gifts. 

A quote from my favorite author, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy, aka. SARK inspired me to see my strengths flowing as in a stream with me standing in the center. 

As SARK said, "I am practicing owning my strength, and standing in the center of it."

This is comforting when I'm feeling challenged to stand up for myself or when I feel uncertain or ungrounded. I can find strength in my center and I can feel centered when focused on my strengths. 

This is truly a gift.

Sunrise...Sunset...Zumba

For today's fun, the Seattle area experienced 60 degree spring like weather in January again! And I enjoyed the amazing sunrise and sunset. And the fact that the days are a little bit longer now. Afterwards, I went to zumba, like old times, and it's like riding a bike! I had really missed dancing in a big group to fun music!

So sunrise, sunset, painted skies and zumba class. It was a fun day all around. Enough said. :)

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul."

~Martha Graham 

Coming Back to My Creative, Energetic Self

Again I've had the opportunity to practice a lot of self-compassion and self-care in the past few days. I have been craving more fun and making art everyday again, but my body had other plans. Home sick on Wednesday and Friday with an upset stomach and headaches left me with just enough energy to watch some home improvement shows and good movies. A tiny bit of fun but I would have preferred dancing or yoga or drawing or taking pictures or a nice nature walk or making a collage or a pair of earrings. :)

On Thursday, I had a break from feeling yucky and although it was an overcast day, I enjoyed the beauty of the trees in the fog and tried to draw what I saw.

I took a cute cat photo while stuck at home too. :)

Yesterday I had the pleasure to see one of our flower girls who is 9, and she brewed us up a special blend of tea which was very creative and fun. It made me think of a cool theme for a party! :)

Today in Seattle we were blessed with sunshine and warmth which made it feel like spring in the middle of January! The clouds were gorgeous as the sun set.

So slowly but surely I'm coming back to my creative, energetic self. I am thankful for the internal drive to return to my creativity always.

What drives you?

Practicing Self-Compassion is Fun

I'm practicing self-compassion with my Fun-A-Day challenge, because I haven't posted in the last few days because I have been super busy learning and growing at my first life coaching training weekend at Seattle Life Coach Training. On Saturday, for fun and experience and growth, I got to phone coach for the first time using a wheel of balance exercise, which, I might add, involved coloring. :) 

Then on Sunday, I practiced creative visualization and right after saw a 2-second rainbow--like it was just for me. And then that afternoon I celebrated with my entire city/state /region when our beloved Seattle Seahawks won in overtime in a nearly impossible comeback to go to the Super Bowl again! I think the players also visualized their win and never ever gave up. So inspiring and the joyful energy was contagious!

Yesterday I had fun sleeping in, feeling moved by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. quotes, and enjoying healing acupuncture. And today, although I didn't feel very good, fighting a persistent headache and then good ol' cramps, I would say that having self-compassion and self-love in going home early and eating healing pho and resting all afternoon and evening was the best gift I could give myself today. The gift of listening to my body and my intuition and taking care of myself. Not fun to have pain but essential to have self-compassion and a little fun to get to watch Rio 2 while resting. :) 

Artwork coming again soon. Here are some photos I've taken the past few days for now.

Thankful for Growth

For today, I'd like to share some photos I took having fun on my day off, preparing for the start of my life-changing class tonight. I feel grateful for the opportunity to grow and change and share similar experiences with a great group of people.

Embracing My Inner Amateur

Today after a long, dark, rainy drive, I met a kindred spirit friend for the Edmonds Art Walk and we had such a nice time. Art and bring with artistic people is a great cure of the grumpiness traffic can create. :) I felt inspired to try drawing again and even though I looked up pictures online for inspiration and guidance, the idea came to me as I hugged my friend good bye in the rain. I couldn't quite figure out how to draw a hug but I'm practicing self-compassion, vulnerability, courage, and no judgment of my art so I can work on that another day. 

"Every artist was first an amateur."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Trying Uncomfortable Things

A funny thing happened yesterday. I decided to take out a drawing book and draw something for Fun-A-Day, but I met some resistance. Resistance I didn't even know existed. I identify myself as an artist and I pride myself on being open to all kinds of art and trying out all forms of art. But for some reason I couldn't bring myself to draw anything. And then I realized I've been drawing the same four or five shapes or figures since I was a kid! I may have added a palm tree and swirly sunshine here and there in my late teens. But honestly since that time, I don't think I've tried to draw anything new. And even though I told myself, "Hey, come on, try something new," I felt that pit in my stomach, that pit called perfectionism. Roaring her big scared head. (I won't call her ugly. She wouldn't like that.) I didn't want to mess up. I didn't want to draw something not good or even ugly in pen in a pretty book. Permanent. 

I may have also been coming up against being tired and not having a lot of time to work through these issues last night, but it really made me realize that I need to work on this. Better put, I need to work through this. I want to work through this. It's important to me to stay open and try new things and express myself through different art forms.

One of my main primary intentions this year is to open up, keep my heart center open and remain open, especially when I feel stressed. And I've been brainstorming heart-opening activities to practice this. And lo and behold, I think drawing needs to be on that list!

It's time to do something a little uncomfortable and mark up the drawing book. Do what I normally wouldn't so I can keep growing. As an artist and a person.

So here goes! (Gotta remember not to hold my breath!) It's time to believe in myself!

"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance."

~Aristotle

Drawing Fun

For the 12th day of fun this month, I decided to try making a mandala. I have admired how beautiful they are for awhile now and read that drawing is good for relaxing, so I have it a try. Unfortunately I couldn't find a ruler so I ad-libbed. I'm still working on it but my back got tired and it's time to rest, so this is all for now. (I think I'll do better the next time but it's not a competition. It was fun to try and it's the process of creating something new that counts.)

Collaging For the New Year

Finally a collage for the new year! Actually 3 collages! I have been itching to create a collage for the new year and was lucky enough to make several today with a few good friends. Collaging flows so much better with friends. As do many things.

This is my New Year's collage for 2015. 

And because it's hard to stop once I start collaging, two more pages for my collage notebook.

4+ hours dedicated to ripping and cutting and gluing and reflecting and sharing good, creative times with friends. What more can I ask for on a Sunday afternoon?

Football Fun

For Day 10, I was having so much fun that I didn't have a chance to post. But I baked pumpkin cupcakes, got to hang out with family and friends and rooted on our home team on their way to the Super Bowl.

I Love Sunsets

I love sunsets! I never tire of taking pictures of them either. It's like my way of paying respect to one of Mother Nature's wonderful creations. Lately though, my smart phone, which doubles as my camera when I'm on the go, hasn't had enough memory for many pictures, so when I'm unable to photograph the amazing colors and marvelous shapes of the clouds, I really try to stay present and savor the view I'm lucky enough to witness. I'm almost sad on the days when I miss the sunset or can't see it for some reason. I'm beginning to feel equally about sunrises but I most definitely regularly miss those on the weekends. It's such a treat though on the weekdays as I start my long drive to witness such extreme beauty. It's a gift from the earth. And I happily open this gift as often as I can, everyday if possible. Also one of the next best parts is sharing the beauty with friends and family, and Facebook makes it so easy to connect with loved ones from all eras in my life and unite to enjoy the simple beauty of nature together. I love that.

So here is my gift to you tonight, on the 9th day of fun. :-)

What do you love about nature? I know, it's hard to choose. Thankfully we don't have to. Nature is so abundant--we can pick something different everyday and never run out of beauty! 

Twinkly Lights and Fog

This is all I can show for my Fun-A-Day #8. Over all it was a good day but a long commute which pooped me out. But I saw this beautiful fog over my mom's lake after I dropped her off at home and loved the twinkly lights across the lake. Yes, it's a cell phone picture and a bit blurry but I think it almost looks like a painting that way. Add that to my creative to-do list: paint fog. This is in addition to painting clouds, drawing a mandala, art journaling more, and using more random (or not-so-random) print in my collages. I like keeping a creative to-do list. I keep it on my phone in a note and add to it when I think of another artform I'd like to try. That's the benefit of Fun-A-Day--it brings creativity to the forefront of my mind. Helps awaken the natural born habit within me to express myself creatively.

Do you have a creative to-do list?