Standing in My Strength

Wow! It's sometimes hard to believe this month is already coming to a close. I feel like it's sped by without a lot of time for reflection. But luckily that's where you come in. This blog has been such a wonderful source for reflecting and sharing this past year and a half. It helps keep me focused and also allows me space to stretch and explore and discover and grow.

Lately I have felt tested to stand up for what I believe is right and stay true to my heart. With this comes a reminder of my inner strengths and a look back at my journey to discovering, recognizing, and most importantly owning my most dependable strengths...my spiritual gifts. 

A quote from my favorite author, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy, aka. SARK inspired me to see my strengths flowing as in a stream with me standing in the center. 

As SARK said, "I am practicing owning my strength, and standing in the center of it."

This is comforting when I'm feeling challenged to stand up for myself or when I feel uncertain or ungrounded. I can find strength in my center and I can feel centered when focused on my strengths. 

This is truly a gift.

I Welcome Spontaneous Adventures

Today I'm writing a special spontaneous Sunday post for my birthday month, because I’m proclaiming the month of March as a month dedicated to self-love, self-acceptance, self-compassion, and cultivating connections i.e. friendships. So in honor of March, I would like to follow my favorite author, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy’s great idea to invite spontaneous adventures into my life. I would love it if any of you wanted to accompany me on some fun excursions this month such as, but not limited to:

laughter yoga  

paint dancing  

collage art parties  

flash mob practices 

fun lunches and/or dinners 

impromptu happy hours 

nature walks  

butterfly house visits 

-and-

Other fun, relaxing, creative endeavors you’ve wanted to try for awhile but haven’t yet.

What is one thing you've been wanting to try but just haven't made the time to do it yet? I challenge you to go out and try it this month!

Fear is Inner Awareness Bubbling To the Surface

More and more I’m feeling a great pull towards helping others feel their creativity alive inside them, as I have felt in myself, because I think that is one of the keys to feeling better about life in general, no matter what’s happening around you. 

Cultivating resilience is also something I feel I want to explore more, not sure if I am expert on it, although others say I’m resilient and it’s even listed as one of my most dependable strengths, but I think the key to really unlocking it within is to really believe that I am resilient, truly own this strength of mine and learn to recognize its presence in many different aspects of my life. 

This leads me to one of the most important things I’ve discovered on this journey of self-awareness and that is self-love. How utterly essential loving yourself is, no matter what, unconditionally, all the time, in every aspect, mood, body part of yourself. Because without that love, without the awareness of all it can do for each of us, I feel lost and overwhelmed with fear. 

I have been struggling with fear a lot in the past few days. I think it’s actually inner awareness that is bubbling to the surface and on the verge of creating more positive change in my life, but it can feel quite uncomfortable and unsettling. It’s a feeling that causes even more worry in my mind sometimes, like: What’s wrong with me? Why am I feeling this way again? Why aren’t all my daily practices helping? Oh, but then my "inner wise self," as SARK describes her, chimes in and reminds me that my daily efforts ARE creating positive change within me and that even though I feel fearful sometimes, that doesn’t change my essence, my true spirit, my God-given talents and strengths. 

The fear doesn’t diminish the love that’s within me. It only clouds my view of it from time to time, and in order to thrive and flourish, I must accept these feelings and embrace “those scared parts inside of myself” (quoted from the incredibly amazing SARK again). Loving oneself truly and unconditionally involves so many wonderful things—

prioritizing self-care, resting, having fun, getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, exercising, drinking water, prioritizing creative expression, making time with supportive friends, laughing, forgiving, praying/affirming/meditating, reflecting, goal setting, dreaming

—whatever works best for you, and I truly believe showing ourselves love is the key to lowering stress levels, accepting what comes to us, and growing into our true potential.

All the happiness exercises and books in the world won’t amount to much long-standing positive change if we don’t first incorporate into our lives and really truly believe in our own worth and allow ourselves to feel that deep love within us in order to stand up for ourselves, make healthy choices for ourselves, and show ourselves love. Only then will we be able to truly feel happiness. This is what I have come to believe.

Inside My Anti-Stress Backpack

I first learned how to truly relax and let go when I lived abroad in Ecuador and started taking long, leisurely walks on the beach to work each day.  I was also intrigued by the more laid-back way of life in the small town where I taught English and learned to embrace this attitude wholeheartedly.  When I returned to the States though, I began to research ways to maintain that sense of peace and relaxation I found on the beaches of Ecuador and live a more relaxed life despite being in a sometimes chaotic, rushed and ever-changing environment back in America.  I feel it is important to keep a list of the tools I've found helpful in discovering ways to relax and find peace in a stressful world, and I LOVE lists!  So I have created a list of some of my favorite relaxation techniques as a way of sharing my research with others and reminding myself to follow my own advice during chaotic times.

1. Breathe.  Don't forget to breathe!  I am constantly reminding myself of this and counting to 5 before letting go of my breath several times can be enough to bring peace and calm to my heart and bring me back to balance in frazzled times.  If you have a hard time finding the time and/or patience to sit down and breathe more often, I found that practicing in a group was very helpful, such as in a meditation class or a mindfulness retreat.  I have also found excellent ideas in the Stress Management Guide from Elizabeth Scott, M.S.  

2. Allow.  This is a relatively new practice for me that I read recently from one of my all-time favorite authors, SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) who wrote about the importance of allowing others to be as they are and not try or wish to change them.  Just reading this statement every now and then throughout my day has helped relax me and helped me focus on the only person I have any control over, which is myself.  I know, it sounds selfish or egotistical but I've learned that this is the best thing for everyone around you, to really take care of yourself and shower yourself with as much love as you can give.

3. Affirm.  I think one of the single most helpful ways of moving forward and letting my resilience shine through is by surrounding myself with positive affirming statements and quotes which inspire me to focus on all the wonder and beauty in my life. I have found many moving quotes and affirmations on the Beliefnet website, along with countless tips and strategies for moving past pain and finding balance in your life.  I also enjoy the uplifting messages I receive every morning from the Universe via TUT.  And on my iPhone, I get reminders every morning to read an encouraging and inspiring quote from Karen Salmansohn. After my second mindfulness retreat, I discovered an excellent mindfulness app for my smart phone called The Now and it sends me food for thought and things to try to help me stay in this present moment.  Since I often need constant reminders during busy, stressful times to stay afloat and in a positive light, these have really helped me.

4. Show Gratitude.  Often I see lists that state we must be grateful for all that we have, but I think it is even more effective if we show gratitude to others and to Mother Nature through our actions so we are putting gratitude in action.  Taking action and showing gratitude helps us remember the feeling that the action creates inside us and can help us relax into the present moment and thus feel grateful for all we have.  Also by focusing on all that we have, we draw more positive energy to ourselves. Oprah has written about this many times.  So I would challenge you, if you're already keeping a gratefulness journal to share one of the things you're thankful for with a close friend or someone you love. It could be simply be through offering a helping hand or being a compassionate listener to a friend in need or through a letter or message of thanks to express how thankful you are for having that person in your life.  But I know that sometimes I'm not in the mood to express my gratitude to another person so I think it can be just as valuable to pay homage or reverence to a beautiful tree, a gorgeous sunset, a colorful, cheerful bird, anything in nature that helps you appreciate this amazing planet in which we live.  I have said "hi" to mountains and little animals out in nature since I was a young girl.  At first I thought it was just something quirky that I did but now I know it was my way of paying tribute to nature and really appreciating all the beauty around me.  I have also found it helpful to publicly express my gratitude via social media sites, like Facebook, everyday for a month.  It helps build a habit of looking for something to be grateful for no matter what your day was like and helps shift your focus back to the positive.  Try to make a habit of showing your gratitude for life everyday.  I think it really does help.  (Now I just need to tattoo this to my arm so I never forget!)

I know lists can sometimes be overwhelming or feel like they're not enough to solve all our problems, but I find that coming upon different lists like this in times of struggle really do help me stay focused in the moment and as I continue to grow my knowledge of wellness and self-care, I add a helpful little something to my anti-stress backpack every time.

May we live life with ease.

Peace be with you.

Celebrating Our Own Talents and Gifts

Happy October, everyone!  'Tis the season to enjoy pumpkin spice almond milk lattes, corn mazes, accessorizing with pretty scarves and fuzzy boots, and the vibrant colors of the changing leaves. May each of you savor the sights, scents, flavors, fuzziness and songs of the autumn season.

On this edition of Tranquil Tuesdays, I've decided to honor and appreciate myself more.  This was sparked by a wonderful weekly email sent out today by Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (aka. SARK, my favorite inspirational artistic author) on whether we appreciate ourselves enough.  It got me thinking about a general longing that sometimes comes up for me for greater appreciation and recognition from others of my efforts, my struggles, all I've overcome, and how maybe, just maybe the appreciation that I seek actually needs to come from within.  Maybe I need to truly appreciate and recognize--on a regular basis--all that I've accomplished in order to truly feel appreciated.  Because if we feel at peace with ourselves, we generally feel at peace with the world.

I think this goes hand-in-hand with self-compassion also.  Are we willing to be as compassionate about our own struggles and difficulties as we are with others?  Many are very good at showing care and concern for our loved ones and our friends and the people we serve, if we're in a helping profession, but how often do we show that same care and concern for ourselves?  I attended a training on the topic of compassion fatigue back in May and I think I was truly too burned out to digest any more information on the subject.  It was just too overwhelming to think about all the things I could and should be doing to prevent this type of fatigue from helping others.  Funny how sometimes when we need the advice the most, we can't absorb it as well as we can later on, after the dust has settled, when we feel a little better and can begin to be more proactive.

I've begun to realize that the key is to practice, practice, practice the stress management techniques that work best for me at times when I feel proactive and open to these ideas, and then over time, through habit, I will begin to react in a calmer, more peaceful way, in hopes of responding rather than reacting when stress comes to visit.  My hope is also to study this subject of stress management so much that I remember more frequently and readily many of the helpful tips I've read about and can use them and practice them in difficult times.

So in appreciation of my journey, I want to recognize my tenacity for finding solutions to difficult problems and stressful situations, my creativity for expressing what I've learned in life through movement, photography and the written word, and my outstanding love of nature and beauty.

Phew.  That was a little uncomfortable and challenging to write about publicly, but I think we can all benefit from recognizing our own gifts more often, don't you?

Chipping Away at the Walls Around Us

Have you ever felt stuck and couldn't quite figure out why?

Sometimes we find ourselves going along in life, growing and changing and enjoying the process and then all of the sudden, we feel like we've hit a rut.  Why?

There is a chance that we may have at some point on the journey been hurt or fearful or betrayed and begun to put up a wall somewhere in our life to protect us from the outside world and sometimes even from ourselves, maybe without even realizing we did so.  In order to move forward again in our life, we need to start chipping away at that wall, brick by brick until we feel it start to budge a little--or a lot, if we're lucky.  Even a slight move can be enough to jumpstart our enthusiasm and get us out of the slump we were stuck in.

How, you might ask, can we move the walls we've put up around us?

I think we can literally start moving our physical bodies and get out of our heads in order to start wiggling the protective wall.  Probably for some, running works.  For others, dancing.  (That has been my experience in the past.)  For me, most recently, it was yoga set to joyful music and reflective writing.

But why would we even want to jiggle this wall out of place that has been supposedly "protecting" us from harm?  That may sound kind of scary, like taking the shell off of a snail.  Ah, but this is where the richness of life lies.  Once we wiggle free from this wall that's been holding us in place, we can begin to feel life again.  We may feel some sadness or confusion or frustration at first but with time and reflection, we can realize greater vulnerability in our relationships with ourselves and our loved ones and a greater understanding and appreciation of our situation and our journey.

For me, the first step is recognizing I have constructed this wall in the first place.  With awareness comes understanding and thankfully wisdom to start chipping away at the protective wall that is not only keeping away potential dangers but also potential joys.  I noticed that I had this tough wall up around me this past weekend while attending a workshop on fear.  This one-of-a-kind workshop was held in a yoga studio and involved many creative activities, such as writing, singing, dancing, doing yoga while singing, listening to joyful music and reflecting and sharing on some very deep and important topics.  This was also the first time I tried yoga since my surgery last year and I am happy to report that I was able to do most things, although I did feel some interesting sensations around my scar during the child's pose, normally my favorite yoga pose.  But I noticed the sensation and stuck with it, which was important for me in beginning to regain my courage and take back my former zest for life before my surgery last year.  This inspiring yoga/writing workshop on fear was created and presented by the amazing Jennifer Pastiloff.

In the process of writing and reflecting on what moves us and who we're grateful for in life, I realized I did not feel as moved as I normally would with such a powerful topic.  And my first reaction was, what is wrong with me?  Why do I feel so cold?  But I quickly realized that this "coldness" was the wall I had put up to protect me from past hurts and that this wall was preventing me from feeling my true, joyful, emotional self.  Just by recognizing this, I began to warm a little.  Not as much as I normally would, but that is why I use the word "budge" and "wiggle" because after constructing such a strong, protective wall up around you, it takes hard work to knock it down.  We must begin to first wiggle and nudge it out of its secure location so that we can begin to move forward again and feel fresh and energetic and hopeful again.  Even one brick chipped from the wall can make a world of a difference if we are aware of the progress we've made in taking that brick down.  Because we are the ones who are responsible for its construction and demolition.  We have the power to take down the walls around us so that we can truly experience life and love with our hearts wide open.


To read more about how important being vulnerable truly is, I highly recommend reading about Brene Brown's work, Pema Chodron's writing, any of my favorite creative author, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (SARK)'s books or take an awe-inspiring workshop on manifestation from Jennifer Pastiloff.

No lions...No tigers!

Here's a meditation or thought to ponder upon today:

Choose to turn things around.

Is your day not going the way you'd like? (Or have you ever had a day like this?) Or is your energy sagging and you feel the life slowly draining from you? Turn it around. 

How? You may ask.

It has to be a conscious decision on your part and it's definitely not easy--it's really hard work, but I believe that it's possible to turn your day around and still make it a good one. It might not be perfect, things might not be going exactly how you want them to, but there is hope, there is a way to turn your mood around and it starts by making the choice.

I know from recent experiments on myself actually that this is way harder than it seems, especially when your mood is really low because you have to work extra hard to make the conscious choice to try and turn your day around. But I think the energy put forth in attempting to improve the day is so much better invested than using energy to complain or feel down in the dumps.

When I feel spun around in circles by multiple stressors or demands, I sometimes feel a sense of loss of control and my mind and spirit begin to protest. This is when I must start really listening to my inner self--the wise one inside me who always knows what to say or how to bring me peace if I choose to listen to her carefully.

And my "Inner Wise Self," as my favorite inspiring author, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (aka. SARK) calls her, says "let go of being in control." She also has told me to relax because things will work out. Take care of yourself first and go at your own pace. Don't compare yourself with others and don't judge others or their journeys. It's okay to be different--we're all different!

My inner self is so smart! If only I had always listened so carefully to her, huh? But it's never too late. We can all start now, or whenever we choose to turn things around, when we deliberately choose to relax and let go of all that tension and fear of future possible events that may never actually occur. 

Something I enjoy doing when I come across a new idea that might be helpful for my stress management and overall wellness is researching and I have started to research the practice of allowing. I have to thank SARK for first introducing this term to me in one of her inspirational emails this summer. Expanding on one of Oprah & Deepak's relaxation techniques to assess the situation when feeling unbalanced or in need of some inner peace, I have begun to look both ways to literally assess my situation in that exact moment. If my heart continues to race out of stress or busyness, I remind my mind and body of a key point--that there are no lions or tigers chasing me right now, that I am not in danger, thankfully. This helps me find peace in almost any situation. I've even started turning my head one way to look around and affirm that there are no lions and then look the other way and say to myself there are no tigers either, which brings a little smile to my face and helps me remember to calm down already because really, I'm not going to get eaten! I'm not in the Serengeti getting chased by wild animals. I'll be okay, I'm not in any immediate danger. 

This practice really helps put things into perspective and has gradually given me the necessary peace of mind and heart to begin a practice of allowing. I believe this practice is mandatory for peace and joy and genuine gratitude to reign in my life. 

What do I mean by "allowing?" Well, as SARK describes it, it's when we don't fight or resist another person's way of being or doing or saying. We allow them to be the way they are, react the way they choose to and live their life the way they please. It also helps us remember that we are only in control of how we react or respond to a situation. We cannot control anyone else. Really. It's impossible. So why spend our energy resisting reality? 

Allowing doesn't solve all of the world's or life's problems, but it has helped me restore balance and peace on stressful days and given me the ability to think more clearly and more lovingly about myself and others. Allowing myself to feel anger or fear or pain also validates my feelings and puts my mind and heart at ease a little more than when just resisting the negative, painful feeling or wallowing in despair.

So I choose to turn things around. I choose to practice allowing others to be the way they are. I choose to allow myself to feel how I feel but to not stay there long, to release any negative feelings by allowing them to be and not resist them. It may seem a bit confusing but try it. It really works. It's almost like magic. ;-)