3 Ways Gratitude Can Cultivate More Mindfulness in Our Lives

On my journey to greater well-being, creativity and mindfulness, I started out by recording what I was grateful for on a daily basis, thanks to the inspiration of Oprah Winfrey who talked a lot about the importance of having a gratitude practice. It helped me feel more positive and I began to feel a little less anxious. While on this path, I was invited to a dear friend’s spiritual center because she thought I would enjoy the talks because they talked about gratitude a lot. I loved it there! This led me to studying more about mindfulness, which led me to transformative experiences like going on a 5-day silent meditation retreat, starting my own wellness blog, and signing up to become a certified life coach to be able to teach and help others on this incredible journey! All sparked by focusing on gratitude.

So I wanted to share 3 ways that gratitude can lead us to live a more mindful, peaceful, and fulfilling life.

1. Taking a few minutes to remember what we’re grateful for slows us down and has us focusing on one task or feeling or thought in that moment: what we’re thankful for.
2. Recording our gratitude everyday in a journal brings us back to the present moment after a busy day through the action of sitting or standing still for a few minutes, writing or typing most likely with our hands and bringing our attention to the positive and/or simple things in our lives.
3. Feeling thankful helps us stop negative thoughts or spiraling worries or feelings of lack and brings us to a place of peace by remembering all we already have.

Do you have a regular practice of remembering what you’re grateful for in life? 

I find it’s especially important during life’s darkest moments but if it can sustained during the joyful moments too, you’ll create a positive habit that will see you through future challenges when they arise and ground you in the present grateful moment.

Happy Thanksgiving! I’m grateful you’re reading this.

Namaste,

Maret

P.S. Would you like support in cultivating more mindfulness in your life? Contact me on my sister site, Maret Carrillo Coaching: Owning Your Goodness to find out more about my transformational life coaching packages.

Meditations in Falling Off the Goal Wagon

A great deal of my thoughts, frustrations and energy have been dedicated throughout my life to feeling bad for falling off the “wagon.” I think I sometimes envision this wagon being a caravan filled with my hopes and dreams carrying me swiftly to my goal. So when I fall off of it and lose my way, stop doing the things I’ve committed to doing or not do them in the time frame I originally set up, I tend to feel really down. At least at first.  

Other times I start an “I don’t care” campaign in response to my falling off and apathy clouds my normally optimistic and hopeful disposition. In a way, this defiance can be an act of self-love, giving myself permission to give up the time-frame constraints I had originally imposed upon myself and allowing myself to be free and embrace a more impromptu way of living.  

I’ve struggled with these dueling ideas—plan, plan, plan for success and reaching my goals versus let it go, relax, don’t worry, I don’t care. But just now as I type this, another idea popped into my head. What if I stop struggling against my innate nature of planning and relaxing, and fully embrace these seemingly opposite traits to take a more positive stance? Could this taming of the duel inside be the key to peace? Isn’t the idea of envisioning our dreams and then releasing them the very basis for the famous Law of Attraction?  

Could there be a hidden nugget in my angst that I haven’t yet been accessing? I think so. And I’m intrigued. As an action-oriented planner and dreamer, this delights me that in my “laziness” I may have actually been cultivating something of value after all. Maybe all the time when I could have been “productive” and instead gave myself time to rest and “veg” on the couch or on Facebook was actually exactly what I needed to move forward.

Rest is required when on a journey. And setting out to reach our goals and dreams is quite a journey. So of course we need rest! In seeing my resting time as essential and valuable, I then give myself permission to take my sweet time, enjoy the view, reflect…or not, be human, and to gather my strength for the next lag of this incredible journey we call life. 

"You are on the path... exactly where you are meant to be right now... And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love." —Caroline Adams

Practicing Letting Go Through Collaging

Funny, I've been reading about the benefits of collaging to prepare for a session I'm leading at the end of the week for a campus community event on collage art as a creative stress management tool, and several sources say that collage art is recommended when you're feeling stressed and feeling a lack of control over your present situation. This is because in collaging you get to control which pictures and words you choose to include in your unique expression of art. You're in charge, and this process of creating gives you the sense of control that you felt you were lacking beforehand. 

At the same time, through my own collage creations, I'm finding that collaging has helped me let go and just soak in the art that I'm creating. I let go of a need to strive for perfection or stress about where each piece will go in the collage. There are really no rules when I collage and this is a very freeing and forgiving process as a result. I am in charge because it’s my creation, and I always enjoy seeing how the pieces turn out. In creating in this way, I develop and practice a greater sense of self-compassion too, because I'm not hard on myself if I paste a piece I've torn from a magazine in the "wrong" place, because I always paste something over it or bring in other pieces to compliment the misplaced piece if I really don't like how it looks, but that hasn't really happened in my collage process so far. I don't strive for a masterpiece, I simply create and create and enjoy the flow that comes with this freeing practice. I enjoy the energy it gives me, the inspiration it calls forth in me, and I enjoy sharing what I've created with others. So far I've worked on creating an inspirational collage art journal in the company of friends two times and both have been such wonderful experiences. I love seeing what others will come up with and feeling their inspiration levels rise at the same time.

My collage creative process reminds me of the balancing act of maintaining control of our responses in life while letting go of the need to control everything else. This is truly an art. I have dedicated this month of May to learning and practicing the art of surrender, and so far this daily focus has been so helpful when I run into a situation that I cannot control. I have also been using a new app I found called Mindfulness Daily that reminds me throughout the day to focus on the moment, notice how I'm feeling both physically and emotionally, and if there is anything beyond my control that I can accept for now. This last part has helped me practice letting go in the moment and has reminded me to take a breath and feel grateful throughout the day. I think the combination of dedicating time to express my creativity, along with focusing on what I can control in each moment is proving very helpful in remaining centered no matter what's going on around me.

These are several of my collage creations that I made on Sunday.

The Peace That Comes With Daily Practice

Looking back on the past four months through the lens of the daily practices I began on the first day of this year, I am awe-struck by all the creativity expressed, empowering research shared, and self-discoveries made in just the first third of the year! I think having a positive topic to focus on each day and post here has really given me a direction to take each day, no matter what happens throughout the day. Even when I'm stressed or super-busy or just plain tired, I try to carve away a few minutes for this practice, and I am enjoying the peace that is slowly coming to the surface as a result. This is not a "get-peace-fast" practice. It takes time. But the beauty of it is actually in the time it takes, because it gives me time to reflect at the end of each day and then at the end of each month on all the nuggets of wisdom I've found. And it gives me a new theme of growth to think about, plan, brainstorm about, read about, and affirm in me each month and each day.

I have also found it a bit easier to add on other small daily tasks. Not too many or not too complicated, because the tiredness factor really does need to be considered in, and self-compassion is key, no matter what. But little things like tracking what I eat again and taking my vitamins everyday again are easier to restart now that I have a regular daily practice. I don't feel the usual resistance I used to feel at times when thinking of adding one more thing to do to my plate. My daily practice of prayer/affirmation/visualization each morning also comes easier because it goes hand-in-hand with my daily focus. Also I have been writing about what I'm grateful for at the end of each day since the beginning of this year, and I find this very centering, and it's a calming way to end each day before going to sleep. If I'm too tired to write something though, I add it to my morning practice, which is also a soothing way to start the day. So it's a win-win either way; no need for guilt, only self-compassion and love here.

So what are the key ingredients to my 2014 life recipe so far?

• Creativity. A daily dose is best!
• Abundance. Coming from within, first and foremost.
• A dash of fun everyday!
• Season generously with self-love and compassion.
• Add grace to each of the other ingredients.
• Sprinkle with laughter, love, vulnerability, courage, faith, and joy.

Please note: follow this recipe everyday until it becomes second nature. This food for the soul can be addicting. :)

Declutter To Destress

For the past 7 days, I've been practically eating, breathing, and dreaming about moving boxes!  There is something about changing homes that stirs up your soul, wakes you up and helps you reevaluate all that you have in your life.  I set out with the huge challenge to declutter much of the papers and mementos I had accumulated over the years and I'm pleased to report that I was able to let go of so much--bags and bags to the recycle bin and even more bags and bags and boxes and boxes of things dropped off at the thrift store to donate.  It brings me much peace to pass along items that might be helpful to others and at the same time to free up space both in our home and in myself.  Remembering that I will always keep my memories and that I can take a picture of something to remember it by, rather than keeping everything, helped me let go of so much.  I do have even more to let go of though.  Unfortunately I ran out of time and had to pack away a few boxes of papers and things I haven't gone through so my decluttering challenge continues, which it should, because if we are not constantly reconsidering what we choose to keep in our homes and lives, we will accumulate new things and end up with too much clutter around us again.  I want to create a regular practice of it--a spiritual practice in a sense--to keep moving forward and get unstuck when I may feel like I'm drowning in papers.  If I can regularly evaluate all that I have, I will have more space for breathing, meditating, thinking, writing, dreaming and loving life.  I do not need things to make me whole.  On the contrary, freeing myself of so many things makes me feel more whole and free.  I'm not there yet, but maybe as I said, this is a constant process and something I need to work on on a regular basis.  Similar to studying stress management, there will always be events that bring us stress, but the more we read about managing and responding to the stress, rather than just reacting, the better and faster we'll recover and the more peace we'll feel during and after times of stress.  And clutter stresses me out.  So it makes sense to include decluttering as one of my stress management practices.

Do you have a stress management practice of your own?  Please share with us!  :)

No lions...No tigers!

Here's a meditation or thought to ponder upon today:

Choose to turn things around.

Is your day not going the way you'd like? (Or have you ever had a day like this?) Or is your energy sagging and you feel the life slowly draining from you? Turn it around. 

How? You may ask.

It has to be a conscious decision on your part and it's definitely not easy--it's really hard work, but I believe that it's possible to turn your day around and still make it a good one. It might not be perfect, things might not be going exactly how you want them to, but there is hope, there is a way to turn your mood around and it starts by making the choice.

I know from recent experiments on myself actually that this is way harder than it seems, especially when your mood is really low because you have to work extra hard to make the conscious choice to try and turn your day around. But I think the energy put forth in attempting to improve the day is so much better invested than using energy to complain or feel down in the dumps.

When I feel spun around in circles by multiple stressors or demands, I sometimes feel a sense of loss of control and my mind and spirit begin to protest. This is when I must start really listening to my inner self--the wise one inside me who always knows what to say or how to bring me peace if I choose to listen to her carefully.

And my "Inner Wise Self," as my favorite inspiring author, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (aka. SARK) calls her, says "let go of being in control." She also has told me to relax because things will work out. Take care of yourself first and go at your own pace. Don't compare yourself with others and don't judge others or their journeys. It's okay to be different--we're all different!

My inner self is so smart! If only I had always listened so carefully to her, huh? But it's never too late. We can all start now, or whenever we choose to turn things around, when we deliberately choose to relax and let go of all that tension and fear of future possible events that may never actually occur. 

Something I enjoy doing when I come across a new idea that might be helpful for my stress management and overall wellness is researching and I have started to research the practice of allowing. I have to thank SARK for first introducing this term to me in one of her inspirational emails this summer. Expanding on one of Oprah & Deepak's relaxation techniques to assess the situation when feeling unbalanced or in need of some inner peace, I have begun to look both ways to literally assess my situation in that exact moment. If my heart continues to race out of stress or busyness, I remind my mind and body of a key point--that there are no lions or tigers chasing me right now, that I am not in danger, thankfully. This helps me find peace in almost any situation. I've even started turning my head one way to look around and affirm that there are no lions and then look the other way and say to myself there are no tigers either, which brings a little smile to my face and helps me remember to calm down already because really, I'm not going to get eaten! I'm not in the Serengeti getting chased by wild animals. I'll be okay, I'm not in any immediate danger. 

This practice really helps put things into perspective and has gradually given me the necessary peace of mind and heart to begin a practice of allowing. I believe this practice is mandatory for peace and joy and genuine gratitude to reign in my life. 

What do I mean by "allowing?" Well, as SARK describes it, it's when we don't fight or resist another person's way of being or doing or saying. We allow them to be the way they are, react the way they choose to and live their life the way they please. It also helps us remember that we are only in control of how we react or respond to a situation. We cannot control anyone else. Really. It's impossible. So why spend our energy resisting reality? 

Allowing doesn't solve all of the world's or life's problems, but it has helped me restore balance and peace on stressful days and given me the ability to think more clearly and more lovingly about myself and others. Allowing myself to feel anger or fear or pain also validates my feelings and puts my mind and heart at ease a little more than when just resisting the negative, painful feeling or wallowing in despair.

So I choose to turn things around. I choose to practice allowing others to be the way they are. I choose to allow myself to feel how I feel but to not stay there long, to release any negative feelings by allowing them to be and not resist them. It may seem a bit confusing but try it. It really works. It's almost like magic. ;-)

Turning Gray Clouds into Blue Sky

Focus on the blue sky, whenever possible, no matter what's happening, no matter how gray it might be outside. This thought came to me earlier today when I looked outside through the rain-stained windows and saw a tiny piece of blue popping through. Thank goodness for the tiny glimmers of sunshine! And guess what? The blue sky broke through later on and all the gray and rain went away. Just like how our moods can change when we take a minute to breathe and assess all that's good in our lives. 

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? I know I do sometimes! I recently participated in the 21-Day Meditation Challenge offered for free by Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra and learned a wonderful tool that I whip out now when I begin to feel that dreaded overwhelming gray cloud (called stress or fear or anything that's bothering you really) drawing near.

It's quite simple but I have found it very helpful in getting back to the present and remembering to take one breathe at a time. Oprah and Deepak wrote, "Pause. Assess. Reframe. Choose love." That's it. That's really all I need to do to start feeling calmer, more confident, more patient, more loving, more grateful and ready again for anything that comes my way.

I decided to turn these four steps into some hand motions to help me remember them better and return to a calm way of being when stress starts to knock on the door of my soul. Remembering helpful things like this is so important, yet sometimes really hard to do when you start to feel stressed. So making it into something more tactile has helped remind me to follow these steps. It's a learning process though, as with all things, and of course I haven't mastered this yet. So it's practice, practice, practice for me!

Please note that I changed a few of the words to better suit my needs.

Here's how it goes:

Breathe.

Take one big deep cleansing breath to start.

Assess.

Then look around a few times to "assess" the situation and recognize that I'm okay, I'm not in danger, and Life is actually quite good in this precise moment.

Recenter (and Reframe).

Next cross one leg over the other while standing and bow slightly with palms of the hands placed together at the Heart Center (called tree pose in yoga, I think). This helps me regain my balance, grounds me and "recenters" my core, ultimately making it easier to "reframe" the current situation causing me stress.

Choose Love.

And finally, place hands over heart to remember to choose Love. Always for myself first and then spread that neverending love outward into the world.

It's a quiet exercise I can do quite easily in the restroom or stairwell or even while on a walk, and it helps me recenter myself on the present and focus on the goal, which is always LOVE.

And I think love is a great metaphor for blue skies and sunshine, don't you?

I'm writing this from my favorite blogging spot, on a peaceful bench overlooking the Puget Sound, just a few minutes from our home--so grateful--with the sun warming my face, the sea breeze cooling me, the blue skies inspiring me and the calm waters soothing my soul. This is peace.