3 Ways Gratitude Can Cultivate More Mindfulness in Our Lives

On my journey to greater well-being, creativity and mindfulness, I started out by recording what I was grateful for on a daily basis, thanks to the inspiration of Oprah Winfrey who talked a lot about the importance of having a gratitude practice. It helped me feel more positive and I began to feel a little less anxious. While on this path, I was invited to a dear friend’s spiritual center because she thought I would enjoy the talks because they talked about gratitude a lot. I loved it there! This led me to studying more about mindfulness, which led me to transformative experiences like going on a 5-day silent meditation retreat, starting my own wellness blog, and signing up to become a certified life coach to be able to teach and help others on this incredible journey! All sparked by focusing on gratitude.

So I wanted to share 3 ways that gratitude can lead us to live a more mindful, peaceful, and fulfilling life.

1. Taking a few minutes to remember what we’re grateful for slows us down and has us focusing on one task or feeling or thought in that moment: what we’re thankful for.
2. Recording our gratitude everyday in a journal brings us back to the present moment after a busy day through the action of sitting or standing still for a few minutes, writing or typing most likely with our hands and bringing our attention to the positive and/or simple things in our lives.
3. Feeling thankful helps us stop negative thoughts or spiraling worries or feelings of lack and brings us to a place of peace by remembering all we already have.

Do you have a regular practice of remembering what you’re grateful for in life? 

I find it’s especially important during life’s darkest moments but if it can sustained during the joyful moments too, you’ll create a positive habit that will see you through future challenges when they arise and ground you in the present grateful moment.

Happy Thanksgiving! I’m grateful you’re reading this.

Namaste,

Maret

P.S. Would you like support in cultivating more mindfulness in your life? Contact me on my sister site, Maret Carrillo Coaching: Owning Your Goodness to find out more about my transformational life coaching packages.

Befriending Stress

I’ve started to grow tired of hearing or reading over and over again about “avoiding stress” or “combating stress.”  Do we really have to be at battle or go to war with a natural process? I know some forms of stress don’t feel very good in the moment, but I don’t think it’s actually the stress itself that is the issue. It’s how we react and respond to the stressors. So instead of avoiding or combating, wouldn’t it be more effective to actually befriend it and show it compassion so that responding--instead of reacting--can be made easier? Wouldn’t you rather respond gently to a friend than react violently to an enemy? Which do you think is better for your overall health? I’m thinking friendly interactions feel better and thus are better for us. And if stress is such a common phenomenon that we really deal with every day, wouldn’t it be more helpful and beneficial to our overall well-being to learn how to interact with it, rather than avoid it or fight it all the time? I’m tired of fighting it. I surrender. Now I want to befriend it and show it compassion like I would a friend. Because it’s a real part of our lives and as I learn how to respond gently to stress, won’t I feel lighter and more peaceful and gentle myself?

But I consider myself a grass-roots, down-to-earth kind of person and I want some really practical ways to “befriend” our stress.  It’s easy enough to say or write it down, but how do we actually do it? I believe for any positive change to take place, we must come from a grounded space, well-rested and settled into our center--our core, through deep breathing, mindful awareness of everyday activities, taking our sweet time and not rushing, and through relishing in what we love and giving ourselves the gift of time to do what we love. And if we’re feeling uninspired to do what we love, it’s probably time for more rest and especially time for greater self-compassion, because one of the greatest gifts we gain from doing what we love is making time for us. Yes, US! (I know, hard to believe, huh?) I know it might feel like there isn’t enough time--trust me, I feel this way a lot too--but I have to consistently remind myself that we make time for what we love, we don’t necessarily HAVE time for all we love. 

So instead of doing something that’s not necessary and that we don’t really love, why not redirect our focus and our time to doing something that enlivens us and fills us with inspired passion, joy and energy for life?  One big time sucker is social media. I really do believe that feeling that social connection with our friends and family who we don’t get to see regularly can help cultivate deeper relationships, but I also believe that we enter a kind of time warp when we're on social media where time flies by and before we know it, we’ve spent an hour reading random posts that don’t have much to do with our life mission or our passion or even our close family and friends’ updates. At the same time though, I can see the therapeutic value to watching funny videos or seeing cute photos because it gets us out of our head and worries and we de-stress through laughter. But everything is better with moderation. I’m seriously considering setting the timer on my smart phone before I enter a social media site and when I hear the timer go off after a predetermined amount of time, then I can reevaluate if this is really how I want to spend another 15 minutes of my precious free time. And if it isn’t, then there’s a wonderful opportunity to put down the phone and do something creative.

I feel very fortunate to have been introduced to the Fun-A-Day Challenge 2 years ago this month. Through this challenge, I vowed to have fun creating something new each day of the sometimes dreary month of January. And through a group on social media dedicated to “Fun-A-Day” (see, there are multiple benefits indeed...befriend your social media as well, just don’t let it control all your time!) I had one of my first tastes of forming a daily practice and of having accountability partners that awaited my post each day and in turn which motivated me to follow through and fulfill my vow to have fun each day. :-) The sweet taste of a daily practice expanded beyond the month of January and I decided to post something each day that year, in 2014. (You can see links to each of my monthly intentions with corresponding daily posts from 2014 on the left-hand side of this page.) And I think this was a real turning point in my life and in my wellness-focused studies, because I was finally dedicating time each day to what I had studied and read about for years before, what I was so desperately seeking in a well-balanced life was finally coming to fruition through the gift of daily practice. I highly recommend it to anyone feeling stuck or wanting to finally take that next step in their life towards their big dreams.

So maybe that’s my answer to a grass-roots, more down-to-earth way to befriend stress: create a daily practice--if anything, a practice of daily self-kindness, of making time for yourself to do something that inspires you or lights you up, fills you with energy and makes you feel more alive.  Because with that increased energy and inspiration, stress may no longer look like an enemy which can help us shift our perspective and way we view stress. After all, stress may actually be set up to remind us to slow down, take better care of ourselves, ground ourselves through deep breathing, increase our mindful awareness, and make time for what we love. That does sound more like a friend now, huh?

Would you ever consider making friends with your stress? How would you go about it? I'd love to hear from you! Email me at: maritakane@gmail.com or connect with me on Facebook. :-)

With love and gratitude,
Marita

Stay tuned for Marita's coaching and workshop debut!

I Welcome Big Miracles Here and Now!

I'm tired of the thought pattern we're ingrained with about not deserving something horrible that happens to us or "deserving more." It's not a question of deserving. I don't believe anyone deserves pain or suffering. So when I hear myself asking why or how someone could deserve such an awful thing to happen to them, I need to stop and become aware that that thought doesn't serve me or anyone. Does that thought lift me up? Does it bring joy? Does it help anyone? No. It's not a question of asking why. I'm not even sure it's a question.

My dear friend, Jill, was so vibrant and joyous, so loving and with so much to share and teach others, so very full of life--the complete opposite of fatal brain cancer. It's incomprehensible that my buen amigo, Christian, whose laughter made everyone feel joyful around him, could die of stomach cancer in less than six short months. And my wonderful, devoted, fun-loving mom lost her own dear parents at the tender age of 16, was then cheated on and left with a rundown house and 5-year-old daughter to raise, and now has been put through such horrible suffering from a brain bleed last August, which is thought to have originated at the time of the car accident which killed her parents.

How do we make sense of these events? Or do we even try? What good comes to us or anyone when we struggle to "make sense" of incomprehensible suffering? I think the true answer lies in getting out of our heads and sinking into our bodies and opening up our hearts to find peace in our souls with what's happened. To cultivate faith continually through centering ourselves to the earth and giving thanks for even the simplest beauty we have been graced to witness during this life--the full moon, the blooming daffodils, the green grass, the giant all-knowing redwoods, ripe sweet fruit, purring kittens, and as Julie Andrews would sing, "raindrops on roses," to name just a few.

When we can get back into our bodies and out of our analyzing heads, I believe then we will begin to feel greater peace. It might not answer our mind's nagging questions, but it will bring openness back to our hearts and hopefully with practice through that openness, a growing connection to our souls where we can trust in a greater knowing, from within, from God, from the Universe, from our ancestors, from the angels, from the Divine, from positivity, from altruism, from your God of understanding, from your spiritual practice. Opening our hearts, when all we want to do is hunker down and close up shop, is in and of itself a daily spiritual practice that develops and tones our trust muscles. And the key ingredient is self-compassion. Gently returning to this practice when we go astray and not judging ourselves or others when this happens.

I welcome big miracles here and now!

The Little Girl Inside

I want to befriend the anxious little girl who lives inside me. I want her to know I love her and support her. I want to tell her that we are doing great and that we will be okay no matter what. But it's sometimes hard to get her messages. I find breathing deeply helps though. She also seems to remember she's ok and can enjoy life again when I'm moving or creating--through dance, photography, nature walks, hiking, collaging, making jewelry, planning workshops. When she is put in a stressful situation or feels pressure of any kind, she begins to tighten and churn. Sometimes only time can rid her of these sensations, even after moving and breathing deeply. This is why it's so important to remind her that these feelings of fear will change and we will once again feel the joy of life. Living in the moment is key but requires constant, LIFELONG commitment, daily practice and self-love, because with anything that you are practicing comes goof-ups and being hard on her is only going to exacerbate the anxiety.

I now see this little girl as beautiful and courageous and intelligent. She's the little girl I was when I was young. She's the part of me who was too scared to develop into an adult. And maybe that was her purpose all along, her intention, to help balance out the rest of my adult self in order to stay young and full of creativity, energy and hope. Because without this little girl, I wouldn't be able to experience the sheer joy of nature and love and life in the same way. I love skipping. I love feeling joyful. I love giggling. The little girl keeps me balanced and filled with zeal for life. After all, when I think about where the sensations of my joy are located in my physical body, more often than not they are in the same places where I feel the anxiety. Anxiety and excitement create virtually the same sensations for me, only one is associated with negative or scary thoughts and emotions and the other with joyful and positive thoughts, albeit sometimes scary too.

When I'm feeling joyful and excited about life, I welcome the scary parts and do the things that scare me anyway, which is where my courage is born. As I practice everyday, I will continue to tell the little girl inside me that she is amazing and talented and so brave and so loved. So needed. So joyful. She must only stop and breathe in that energy so that the situation can shift and the anxiety will dissipate with practice. It will never go away completely. We need anxiety for our safety sometimes but as we shift, we can lean towards excitement and zest for life instead, in order to train our thoughts and emotions to respond differently or shift and lean more quickly towards joy.

Adding A Little Zest To Life

At the beginning of the year, I received a random card at a Seattle Unity service that was entitled zeal. I hadn't really used this term before though but I immediately liked the sound of it. I had already set an intention to have more fun and be more playful, because I found myself getting really serious and not having much fun as a result, so this card reinforced that intention.

That is about the same time when the Fun-A-Day project appeared out of the blue and was like an answer to the winter blues I had been facing. I had SO MUCH FUN during the month of January creating something new each day and posting it on my blog as Daily Creativity! And this started a daily habit or practice for me, of posting a little something each day, like a reflection, a photo, a short poem, or an inspiring quote. I have had a lot of fun sharing and posting everyday on my blog and one of the most fun and creative parts is brainstorming about a new theme for the month or sometimes just listening to my inner voice and focusing on what I need to focus on in the coming month.

So this month, I have chosen Zest & Zeal. I intend to bring more awareness to the art of having fun and how to add more zest and zeal to everyday life. This can be anything really and I can't wait to see where it leads. I really had NO IDEA that joining the Fun-A-Day Challenge back in January would lead to all these different daily practices each month--February brought Abundance, March brought Self-Love, April brought Grace, May brought Surrender, and June brought Goodness. I love that I can sum up 2014 in these beautiful words, actions, intentions, and practices--creativity, prosperity, self-compassion, graceful living, letting go, and owning my goodness.

And now I'm adding a little more zest and zeal to my days by choosing to focus on:

lively feelings of enjoyment and enthusiasm that increases energy in pursuit of a cause or an objective

And my cause or objective is to be more playful and recognize and honor all the zest and zeal already in my life. :) Just in the past 2 days, I've found zeal in nature through discovering a beautiful pond filled with momma ducks navigating through the lilypads and dragonflies hovering just over the surface.

I have a feeling that I'll be finding zest and zeal everywhere and I can't wait to share with you what I discover this month. :)

Where do you find zest and zeal?

A New Chapter of Goodness

Two days ago on June 1st, I decided to focus on recognizing and really owning my goodness for this month. This is something I've been thinking about for awhile now and something that was articulated into words during an inspiring life coaching session with the amazing Lena Meyer back in March. As wonderful as it sounds though, this has been a bit of a difficult topic for me, so I felt it was important to practice it this month as an act of cultivating more self-love, self-compassion and self-confidence in my life. And very appropriately, just yesterday, I started my new job! So this added boost of confidence, care and compassion is greatly welcomed as I put myself out there, take risks, try new things, and join a new community of colleagues.

I created a special collage (pictured above) in late March to help me remember this mantra of owning my goodness and it also serves as the cover of my first inspirational collage notebook. I also say this to myself every morning and every night as a way to ground myself in my goodness and remember all the good coming to me and coming from me everyday. I have found it soothing as well when I'm feeling frustrated or grumpy.

But now, this month, I would like to fill this "goodness" with actual examples and details--stories or memories or qualities that I possess that I can call upon to remind myself of my goodness. That is why I have created a whole page to this topic and why I'm writing about it each day this month. So far this year, I have written about creativity in January, abundance in February, self-love in March, grace in April, and surrender in May. And I feel each of these topics has had a great influence on how I view life now. So I am confident that focusing on filling in the details of what goodness really means to me and what my own unique goodness looks like and feels like will only bring more goodness into my life and make me more aware of the goodness that comes from within as well.

When I focus on a significant topic each day, a habit is formed and a greater awareness develops. That is why I know recognize so many different opportunities in life to use my creativity. I recognize how abundant the whole world is and how abundant my spirit is as well. I continually focus on strengthening my self-love muscle as this is a difficult muscle to tone and needs constant maintenance. My practice of grace and surrender are also continual focuses in my life and I see more and more ways that grace and surrender show up in my life now--or at least the need for grace and surrender in order to live with ease.

Each of these daily practices this year are actually cumulative--they truly build on each other and it seems that the topic from the month before becomes so interconnected with the current month. I enjoy this focus because before, I would research random topics, because I love researching and reading about wellness, but get overwhelmed by the wealth of information available to me. Now I feel I am really getting to a more unique space where I am creating the resources at times because I can't find other information about what I want to research. I know from writing a senior honors thesis in college that this is the sign of an available and needed subject to write about because there are not many--if any other sources out there on the topic.

So for Day 1 of my goodness practice this month, I found a definition of the word "goodness" that helped me begin the process of recognizing, looking for, and owning my goodness, and goodness all around me. And one of the words that really stuck with me is "essence." What is my true essence? And what does that mean? When you strip away all of life's stressors and all of your memories and pain and trauma, who are you underneath it all? During experiences of loss and health crisis, I was given the chance to see my true essence, what was underneath all the gunk, and at first I was surprised by all the strength and joy and creative energy I found there, but now I'm moving into a space and time when I can write about my essence and not feel as bashful or afraid of exposing my true nature in a public setting, and my intention is to feel as comfortable about these parts of me as I am about my eye color.

What's underneath all the gunk for you? Can you find your true essence? Your unique goodness? Keep looking if you don't see it at first. And if you feel comfortable, let me know what you find.