I'm tired of the thought pattern we're ingrained with about not deserving something horrible that happens to us or "deserving more." It's not a question of deserving. I don't believe anyone deserves pain or suffering. So when I hear myself asking why or how someone could deserve such an awful thing to happen to them, I need to stop and become aware that that thought doesn't serve me or anyone. Does that thought lift me up? Does it bring joy? Does it help anyone? No. It's not a question of asking why. I'm not even sure it's a question.
My dear friend, Jill, was so vibrant and joyous, so loving and with so much to share and teach others, so very full of life--the complete opposite of fatal brain cancer. It's incomprehensible that my buen amigo, Christian, whose laughter made everyone feel joyful around him, could die of stomach cancer in less than six short months. And my wonderful, devoted, fun-loving mom lost her own dear parents at the tender age of 16, was then cheated on and left with a rundown house and 5-year-old daughter to raise, and now has been put through such horrible suffering from a brain bleed last August, which is thought to have originated at the time of the car accident which killed her parents.
How do we make sense of these events? Or do we even try? What good comes to us or anyone when we struggle to "make sense" of incomprehensible suffering? I think the true answer lies in getting out of our heads and sinking into our bodies and opening up our hearts to find peace in our souls with what's happened. To cultivate faith continually through centering ourselves to the earth and giving thanks for even the simplest beauty we have been graced to witness during this life--the full moon, the blooming daffodils, the green grass, the giant all-knowing redwoods, ripe sweet fruit, purring kittens, and as Julie Andrews would sing, "raindrops on roses," to name just a few.
When we can get back into our bodies and out of our analyzing heads, I believe then we will begin to feel greater peace. It might not answer our mind's nagging questions, but it will bring openness back to our hearts and hopefully with practice through that openness, a growing connection to our souls where we can trust in a greater knowing, from within, from God, from the Universe, from our ancestors, from the angels, from the Divine, from positivity, from altruism, from your God of understanding, from your spiritual practice. Opening our hearts, when all we want to do is hunker down and close up shop, is in and of itself a daily spiritual practice that develops and tones our trust muscles. And the key ingredient is self-compassion. Gently returning to this practice when we go astray and not judging ourselves or others when this happens.
I welcome big miracles here and now!
