Letting Go to Make Room for New

Fin de Año 2013

Wow! Well, the end of the year is upon us and we have so much to celebrate and be thankful for and also much to let go of and leave in the past. I'm excited about all the possibilities to come in 2014!

I participated for the 4th time in the Burning Bowl Ceremony at Seattle Unity on Sunday. This ceremony gives us an opportunity to literally see the things we want to release from the previous year burn up in flames. It has been a very powerful and cleansing process for me and I am very grateful to my friend, Julie for taking me to my first Burning Bowl in 2010. 

This process also reminds me of the Ecuadorian New Year's tradition of burning paper mâché lifesize dolls called "añoviejos" or "old years" that represent all that you'd like to let go of from last year at midnight. 

This year after I burned my "añoviejo" at Unity, I was given a card with a word and affirmation for the new year. My word was "zeal," which goes very nicely with my next creative project for the month of January. My card said that "I am energized by the power of God's or the Divine presence in my life this day. My enthusiasm comes from the deep well of God Love or Divine Love that is the source of all life. My joy is contagious and I shine my light in the world." I just love this as a point of focus to start this new year off on a positive and light foot! 

Thanks to the awesome and inspiring project of my creative friend, Angie, I'm going to participate in Fun-A-Day this January. Each day in January I will either:

*Make a pair of earrings

*Take nature photos

*Dance, or

*Write.

And I will record my creative endeavors here on this blog. So really for me, it will be a blog-a-day for the month of January. I think positive habit-forming motivation like this will really help with this SAD weather! And I think it will also be a great start for my very own Happiness Project! My mom gave me The Happiness Project for Christmas and since then I've been feeling inspired to start my own project to focus on increasing happiness in our lives.

My hope is also to start a habit of being creative everyday and choosing happy, joyful activities over vegging out and feeling SAD from the dreary winter. I'm looking forward to it! Maybe you'd like to join me?

Wishing us all the freedom of New Year's and a 2014 filled with joy, courage and inner peace!

Vulnerability As Strength

"Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness." 
~Brene Brown

I’m just going to put this out there: opening up in my writing and publishing these pieces on my blog is pretty scary at times.  Being vulnerable to possible criticism, misunderstanding, anger, pain is a real challenge.  But I have realized through past posts that the times I am most vulnerable and open in my writing are the posts my readers most enjoy.  It is compelling to read someone’s honesty, to see inside someone’s heart.  It can be rare to be given that opportunity.  There has been a lot of buzz about the word and concept of vulnerability lately, thanks to Brene Brown’s amazing work.  (I am super excited and grateful that my dear mom gifted me two of Brene Brown’s books yesterday!  If you haven’t heard of Brene Brown’s work, please check out her website here.)  

I feel a lot of resistance to being vulnerable sometimes, especially because of past hurts.  I’m trying really hard to let these painful memories go so I can free up space for new light and joy in my life.  Holding on to them weighs me down and makes me feel heavy and closed off to the world.  I want to feel open and passionate.  Having your guard up is a natural protection mechanism but it doesn’t bring any joy into your life.  It only stops everything from coming in.  I have been very adamant about remaining open despite getting hurt, but it is easier said than done sometimes, especially when you receive multiple blows and forget to stay centered, or in my case, your center is literally cut open.  This has affected me immensely.  More than I can describe in words.  

I have to reframe how I view what happened to me last year in a more positive light though, because thinking my spirit has been kind of broken from all the pain and suffering endured does not help me move forward and shed all the layers of painful memories from my back.  Only when I focus on all the strength and wisdom and awareness I have gained from the experience can I then begin to put one foot forward and then the other, slowly but at least in a forward direction again.  I must stop turning around to look over my shoulder at all that has happened.  And instead look at where I am right now, in this instant.  If I look too far forward into the future, fear can paralyze also, so my challenge is to stay in the moment.  Enjoy the present.  Be grateful for where I am right now.  Find peace in my heart that everything is going as planned.  Have faith that I am strong enough to handle anything with grace and love.  

I so want to embody this quote by Rumi:

"The wound is the place where the light enters you."  

My physical wound from last year has been healed for one year now.  The emotional trauma however is taking longer to get past, but as Rumi said, it is where the light comes in.  If you let the opening in your armor just be and sit with it, trusting everything will be okay and not fighting the fact that it exists, incredible things can occur in your life.  A light far greater than you could ever imagine can fill your heart and soul and transform the way you think and perceive life.  

I recently listened to a talk at Center for Spiritual Living online and Kathianne Lewis said that angels manifest in our lives whenever we have high thoughts or thoughts of greater awareness--epiphanies as I like to call them.  So even when we feel that we are not moving forward as much as we would like to, perhaps physically if we have had health challenges or with our life goals, if we are having these high thoughts and understanding humanity or ourselves a little better, we are being supported by these angels in our lives who help us understand what is happening and recognize the grace in each situation.  And through this divine assistance, we are growing and changing and moving forward as spiritual beings.

I will leave you with one more quote on vulnerability:

You don’t always have to be strong.

You don’t always have to fight off those tears.

Sometimes it’s good to let them flow and let it go.

All your holding back can just keep building it all up.

It’s alright not to have it all figured out yet.

Give it time to unfold.

~Karen Salmansohn

Getting My Sparkle On

Over the past two years, I have learned way more than I could have ever imagined about my physical and emotional body.  I thought I had been put to the test the year before but I had absolutely no idea what was in store when the Nutcracker hit.  Nearly two years ago, in January 2012, I experienced a very extreme case of pain one snow-day.  It felt as if someone or thing was stabbing me with a sharp knife in the lower pelvic region.  I worried that I might have something rupturing inside and thought of calling someone but the nausea and dizziness and pain engulfed me and I almost passed out.  My now husband called me right in that instant to check on me because I had felt kind of nauseous earlier that day, and he immediately left work to come and take me to the hospital.  Of course the first visit to the ER didn't find anything.  They thought I had possibly eaten something that caused this pain.  They really didn't know, even after doing several tests and four plus hours later.  Then the following month, another episode happened while I was at work.  My co-workers said I turned as pale as a ghost and I nearly passed out there too.  This time I was taken to an urgent care facility who referred me to a GI doctor, in case what they had said the month before was valid.  A few days later, I went for a CT scan where the Nutcracker was discovered.  It took several more months to confirm this but in the end, I had open abdominal vascular surgery to move my left renal vein down a few centimeters so it would no longer be "nutcrackered" by my aorta and superior mesenteric artery.  This nutcrackering effect had resulted in varicosities below my kidney region which were extremely painful.  Imagine a normal sized river trying to fit all its water through tiny streams when the river got blocked by, let's say, a beaver dam. (To read more about the Nutcracker Syndrome, read my Nut Notes blog from last year.)

I consider myself so very fortunate to have been referred to the right doctors in a relatively quick timeframe so that I didn't have to live with the increasing pain and discomfort, even from standing or sitting for more than 10 minutes, very long.  The active life I knew before the Nutcracker had almost completely come to a stop, my twice weekly zumba and other dance classes became almost non-existent as the pain got more and more plaguing.  But then came recovery.  The doctors had estimated 5-6 weeks after my open surgery.  They had not anticipated the surgical infection I got because I was so healthy and young, compared to many of their other vascular patients.  The infection was deep, probably happening during the actual surgery, and took a very long time to heal.  But the pain and suffering it caused as I had to have dressings changed twice or three times daily for four long months was even worse.

Within several weeks the actual infection was gone, but I was left with a very open wound that my now husband and mom took loving care of everyday, twice a day for four months.  The risk of further infection was great if this wound wasn't cared for properly and I am again extremely lucky to have such a loving and caring partner and mom in my life.  They took such good care of me.  Honestly, I'm not ready to write about all the painful details of the ordeal, but I do want to reflect on all that I learned from the experience, now that it's been one whole year since my wound finally healed completely.

Early on the doctors described to us what needed to happen for my wound to heal and they used a term that my mom and I couldn't quite remember afterwards.  My mom and I joked that fireworks or "sparklers" needed to happen in order to regenerate new tissue in the location of the wound, healing from the bottom up.  Now I can't even remember the actual medical term for this phenomena but since this wound was requiring so much love and care and energy from us all, I felt we should name her.  So "Sparkle" it was.  I hoped and prayed for the day when Sparkle would become a Sparkle Scar and I could put scar gel on her, rather than fill her with painful gauze and tape her down onto my tender belly skin everyday.  And that prayer was answered finally after over four months last December.  I had recently attended a church service at the Center for Spiritual Living on 12-12-12 with my dear friend, Julie and her family and we were asked to share prayer requests so I felt I had to say something.  I shared my story briefly and after the service, a woman--or I'd say an angel--approached me and told me that she did healing energy work and would like to sit with me for a few minutes.  I am a very open-minded person and welcomed any and all possible healing for Sparkle so I gratefully agreed.  She sat next to me for less than five minutes, putting her hand over my heart and near my abdomen while breathing deeply.  Within 4 days, Sparkle was completely healed and turning herself FINALLY into a scar!  I will be forever grateful for this anonymous and powerful healing.

So what did I learn from this experience?  Now that it's been one whole year and I'm still regaining my physical strength after being so inactive during the chronic pain from the Nutcracker and then from the long healing process of Sparkle--even 8 minutes of yoga on my TV this morning thoroughly tired me out--I can view the experience from a distance and instead of remembering all the pain and suffering, I can begin to see all the beauty and love that I received during that time.  Not only did I grow even closer to my dear mother who cared for me at every minute for over a month straight and then came to my house to care for my wound everyday after I moved back home, but I discovered and affirmed my soulmate and life partner and knew with all my heart how absolutely dedicated and devoted he was and still is to me. We married four short months after Sparkle became a scar.

Once I was able to walk around and drive on my own, I learned that despite almost all my body's energy going to healing Sparkle, I was still able to be in a beautiful wedding as a bridesmaid, even if I had to sit down during the ceremony on a little bench they provided for me.  I took a trip on my own as I travelled to Chicago for my dear friend, Rosey's baby shower while Sparkle was still healing, and I created 40 pairs of earrings to sell at the college's holiday craft fair.  I moved into a sparkling new apartment after being in my condo for seven years.  I sat by my grandma's side on her last conscious night here on Earth and laughed with her and held her hand as she began her transition to Heaven.  My life continued, I didn't stop for very long.  I remember every bump in the road, literally, but I am also grateful for not feeling pain every time we hit a bump in the road anymore.  I sometimes may not feel as strong as I really am but my strength is in there, it lies deep within me and helps me propel my life forward in new and positive directions everyday.

So the morale of the story is to never give up.  Never give in either.  Keep living, create beautiful experiences, even when your current situation isn't perfect, isn't exactly as you'd like it to be.  Because despite all the pain and suffering I felt, I have so much to show for that time in my life and so much to be proud of and remember fondly.

I learned to not take the simple things for granted. I learned to take things one at a time, and if I still get frustrated sometimes about not being able to do as much as I'd like, I've learned to be patient. I'm still learning to be patient. (This is a lifelong learning journey, but a very important one.) I now have great empathy for others who are in pain. I have the gift of putting myself in their shoes and almost literally feeling or imagining what they might be going through. I am extremely sensitive but also extremely aware. I have learned that not everyone will like what you say or what you do or what you share. But that what's most important to me is being authentic, being real, being open. Being open in the face of fear and uncertainty has brought me so many more blessings and opportunities than I could have ever imagined.

I learned how fragile life as we know it--and so often take for granted--truly is. I've learned how beautiful and delicate and graceful life can be, if we can enter into the mindset that all this is made for us.  I'm learning to trust all this wisdom from within and from others and take comfort in that trust, that faith.

I have learned to be grateful for all the little things--the little improvements, little epiphanies, little joys, little breaks, and the little sparkle we discover, recognize and share in our everyday lives.

Breathing and Trusting You Have Everything to Gain

"Forgiving isn't something you do for someone else; it's something you do for yourself.

It's saying 'you don't get to turn me into a victim. You are not important enough to me to be the object of my hate.' Once you do that, your enemy stays chained to his past history. But you, you're free."

~Jodi Picoult in The Storyteller

Wow! Those are such powerful words! The act of forgiving is a very difficult task to take on. But I've found it is so very important. If we just try to cover old resentments and hurts up and ignore them or try to forget them, they come back to us quadrupled in the form of stress oozing out of us, physically, mentally and emotionally. But it's quite a spiritual act, the trusting that forgiving is really good for you and nothing will happen to the person who wronged you either way, whether you continue to hold on to what they did with your teeth or packed up in your chest, not allowing your light to come out, or by letting it go. I feel that our creativity is also stunted if we don't make a conscious effort to forgive. When I'm most creative and open and loving, I've finally let go of the grip I had on things that weren't fair or hurt me deeply. That grip paralyzes our ability to brainstorm new ideas and solutions and create new realities for ourselves. We get stuck thinking about what happened if we keep holding on to it, or squirreling it away, as Jodi Piccoult wrote in The Storyteller.

It's almost like we hang on to these painful memories because if we don't, we think we're not giving our feelings enough importance. "What do you mean I have to let go of what so-and-so did to me?" We tell ourselves that it's not fair, but the irony is that what's not fair is really what we are doing to ourselves by holding tight to these indiscretions. 

But how, you might ask, do we let go of what someone did to us? I still struggle with this, even after reading article upon article about the topic. But what seems to work every time is breathing--and that's a very important piece to remember, it's not that once you say "ok, I forgive you," that it'll be all healed up in your heart and it won't bother you anymore. It's really something you have to work on regularly, at least at first. But if you're like me, and are prone to remembering how much so-and-so hurt you over and over again, it'll take time. It'll require creating a habit of breathing into the hurt or angry feelings and consciously letting the grip in your chest unwind, metaphorically unbinding that past pain from your core and releasing it into the ground or air or wherever you'd like to send it--as long as it's not inside you anymore--with your out breath. Isn't the image of breathing in fresh, calming, peaceful, loving air into your core and then breathing out all the negative, painful emotional gunk you've been keeping in there such a relieving, hope-filled thought? 

Practice. Practice. Practice. That's what it'll take. Trusting. Trusting. Trusting. Trusting that YOU will really be the one who has everything to gain from forgiving, and knowing that it no longer has ANYTHING to do with the other person. What a relief!

Recognizing the Unhealed Parts of Me

 

“What angers us in another person is more often than not an unhealed aspect of ourselves. If we had already resolved that particular issue, we would not be irritated by its reflection back to us."

~Simon Fuller

"I’m learning to hold the little hands of those scared parts inside of myself, and just sit with them.  They love this.”  ~Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy aka. SARK

 

What are the unhealed parts of myself?

What an empowering and proactive way to look at yourself—what are the unhealed parts of me?  If I look at all the things that bother me or irritate me or make me flustered, I think I know deep down that those are the unhealed parts.  When I don’t feel in control, when I feel pressured, when I don’t have the answer, when I feel stuck, when someone judges me, when someone talks back to me, when I feel rushed.  

The list could probably go on and on.  But what’s most important is recognizing that these parts of my being are just scared.  They’re scared of failing, of not doing well, of being uncomfortable, of experiencing pain.  And as the SARK quote goes, if I pay attention to them—with non-judgmental attention—and show them love and compassion, these parts will relax.  They’ll stop resisting reality and just be, rather than create friction in our lives and inside ourselves by fighting what’s a part of us.  It’s not to say that we should just roll over and let all them take over and bother us; it’s to say that if we recognize these parts of ourselves and let them be, rather than trying to fight them all the time or ignore that they even exist, we can feel more peace.

Beware: Relapses of Perfectionism May Occur

I had been rather proud of my "recovering perfectionist" self-identified status until recently when I was preparing to give a workshop and felt like I wouldn't be able to do my best job because of limited time and not wanting to let anyone down. I became extremely pessimistic and felt like I would fail. Well, that was the perfectionism rearing its ugly head. Nothing else. I did just fine, got lots of positive feedback and I feel good now about the work I did to prepare for these two recent workshops. So in all honesty I was completely off base when that darned perfectionism relapsed before each workshop. And here I had thought that I was pretty much cured, viewed myself as so much farther along in "perfectionism remission" than other perfectionists I saw. While all along my perfectionism still flares up, like a chronic ache of pain, plaguing my world view and logical thinking, filling me with fear. It would be best to not be so cocky about this from now on. Being a recovering perfectionist is not something to take for granted, I've learned.  It’s hard work and constant work to be ahead of your perfectionism.

Oh, and that fear thing. I've read a lot about fear lately but don't always relate to the specific term “fear,”--well, better put, I feel some resistance inside to the term--but when you put it in the context of perfectionism, the fear of not being perfect is very real and relatable. I don't think I'd realized how much this fear still controls me, or tries to control me. Luckily I think that once we become aware of what is happening inside us, we come from a place of strength and have the power to effect change in that moment then. We are empowered. When I am in this healthy state of mind once again, I think and see myself and my reality more clearly and can talk myself down from irrational thinking and remind myself of what I do well and that I always do my best.  I’m no longer controlled by that nagging voice that visits from time to time when I’m not paying attention, when I’m not aware, when I’ve let my guard down.  But we need to constantly maintain that awareness or else, beware: relapses of perfectionism may occur.

I Trust Life Because I Know Angels Are Real

Tomorrow marks the 3rd anniversary of when my dear friend, Jill became an Angel.  I am so blessed to have been touched by her grace and friendship in my life and in the past three years since her passing, I have continued to feel her presence and guidance and support in my life.  I have been through hell and Heaven these past three years in more ways than one might imagine, but I have grown leaps and bounds as a human being, with my intuition blossoming, my spirit beaming, my awareness of self developing more and more with each new day and experience, my heart opening wide after being punched and filling with more love than I could have ever imagined three or four years ago.

I would like to write that I wish my amiga, Julita (her nickname en español) had been there to see all these amazing changes, but I know she has been there for each and every one of them.  When I see a hummingbird in the dead of winter, I know it’s her.  Or when I hearing the buzz of a baby hummingbird’s delicate wings, I am comforted that her spirit still accompanies me.  When I see a beautiful, colorful sunset or a break in the clouds with a glimmer of sunshine or blue sky peeking through, I know her light will always surround us all with love.  When I remember to breathe while feeling especially stressed, I know she is holding my hand and encouraging me.

I also know that Jill would want me to take credit for all these incredible triumphs as well, and I’m slowly learning the importance of recognizing one’s own strengths and giving myself credit when credit is due.  But my confidence grows even more when I remember that I’m never alone, I’m always accompanied by loving, caring angels who help me journey into my soul and learn from within more and more everyday.

I trust life because I know Angels are real.  I heard this last spring from the inspiring astrologist/psychologist, Debra Silverman, as a mantra for overcoming fear, and I used to repeat it to myself.  Now it’s more of a reminder of what I already know to help strength my trust muscle. This muscle needs regular workouts and lots of TLC. If left unattended, it can wither back into a big scared cat, but when I remember my angel friend watching over me, along with my angel grandparents and angel babysitter and other angel friends, I know I am taken care of and can fall back into the net of love and relax and try to really enjoy this beautiful life we're living.   

Gracias, Julita, por compartir tu espíritu tan bello y fuerte con nosotros, aun cuando ya no estás aquí con nosotros en forma física. Estoy tan bendecida de haberte conocido hace casi una década y siempre estarás conmigo en lo bueno y lo difícil, apoyandome y dandome animo para seguir adelante. Te quiero mucho, Amiga linda. Te extraño muchísimo.  

Love always,

Marita

Never Take For Granted The Good Days

I was home sick today and felt incredibly miserable at one point. I didn't have enough energy to sit up and the lower abdominal pain radiated all the way down my legs. But as the pain eased a little, I was able to remind myself that this is only one or two days a month, instead of everyday. Last year I felt an aching pain everyday (see My Nut Notes blog post from last year on my rare vascular condition for more details)--when I stood for more than 10 minutes, when I went shopping, when I walked for more than 10 minutes, when I sat on a hard surface, even when I went to the movies. It was a nagging debilitating pain that affected my everyday life. But now I have been given the gift (read about my surgery on my One Year Post-Op blog post)--because it truly is a gift and I am so lucky to have been given this--of feeling pretty darn healthy throughout the month and only have a day or two when I feel terrible. A few months ago, I didn't even feel that terrible. So I really need to remember to count my many blessings and never take for granted all those good days--the 28 out of 30 days each month that I live virtually pain-free now.

One thing that seems to help that my wonderful husband has taught me is to name the feeling I'm experiencing in those desperate moments. This morning he asked me what I was feeling in that moment of agony and I would call out "pain," then "nausea," followed by "dizziness," etc. and it seemed to give those feelings a voice so they wouldn't all glob together in one big pain attack anymore. In a sense, I also felt more in control of the pain because I had named the different parts of it; I had identified the culprits and communicated them out loud.

As I'm typing this now, I feel a slight twinge of pain and a headache and a little dizziness if I turn my head too quickly, but overall I feel much more human again and that is such a blessing. I know we all struggle with daily stresses and things that frustrate us or get us down, but I feel so fortunate to be able to walk and talk and sit and go about most of my days without much pain or nausea or dizziness. It feels great to be alive and human and for the most part pain-free!

So I share these thoughts here as reminders for myself in the future, if the pain returns, and also to stay focused on all the beauty of each day and all the simple joys, despite all the troubles, that we are blessed with each and everyday. We can breathe in and out deeply. We can go outside and enjoy nature in all her splendor. We are alive. We are blessed.

A Strengths-Based Approach to Life

My mind has just been brimming with ideas of different possible applications for what I learned last week at a very inspiring and thought-provoking training called Dependable Strengths.  What are Dependable Strengths, you might ask?  Well, I think the definition may be a little different for everyone who experiences this training.  For me, the essence of the Dependable Strengths Articulation Process, which was created by the late Bernard Haldane back in 1945 after World War II, involves a group of individuals who share positive life experiences with one another and through this purposeful storytelling, begin to identify and uncover the inner talents and gifts that lie within each of us.  This process has been used with job-seekers, veterans, alumni, the elderly, church members, elementary-aged children, middle schoolers, high schoolers, and college students, but I think the sky is truly the limit!  Through the careful discovery of our natural talents, we can then propel ourselves into a life that we long for, a life of fulfillment, a life of purpose.  It’s really a completely different mindset to live by.  Seeing yourself from a point of strength--multiple points of strength actually, you begin to see others from their points of strengths as well.  It helps build patience and understanding. Community. 

At a more personal level, I feel like I had to really work to uncover and reclaim some of my natural strengths, because we sometimes try to hide or deny our true talents as a result of painful events or criticism.  But once we can really own our true, authentic self again and believe in our talents and strengths, we can then begin to help others uncover their innate strengths as well.  That is one of my visions.  In order to heal old wounds, we must stir them up a bit so they can resurface and then be freed.  This process has definitely been a healing one for me, and I believe it can help others in this way too.  

Stay tuned for more. My creative waves are flowing freely once again and I'm plotting my next move. I hope to share the gift of this incredible experience with others very soon.

Inside My Anti-Stress Backpack

I first learned how to truly relax and let go when I lived abroad in Ecuador and started taking long, leisurely walks on the beach to work each day.  I was also intrigued by the more laid-back way of life in the small town where I taught English and learned to embrace this attitude wholeheartedly.  When I returned to the States though, I began to research ways to maintain that sense of peace and relaxation I found on the beaches of Ecuador and live a more relaxed life despite being in a sometimes chaotic, rushed and ever-changing environment back in America.  I feel it is important to keep a list of the tools I've found helpful in discovering ways to relax and find peace in a stressful world, and I LOVE lists!  So I have created a list of some of my favorite relaxation techniques as a way of sharing my research with others and reminding myself to follow my own advice during chaotic times.

1. Breathe.  Don't forget to breathe!  I am constantly reminding myself of this and counting to 5 before letting go of my breath several times can be enough to bring peace and calm to my heart and bring me back to balance in frazzled times.  If you have a hard time finding the time and/or patience to sit down and breathe more often, I found that practicing in a group was very helpful, such as in a meditation class or a mindfulness retreat.  I have also found excellent ideas in the Stress Management Guide from Elizabeth Scott, M.S.  

2. Allow.  This is a relatively new practice for me that I read recently from one of my all-time favorite authors, SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) who wrote about the importance of allowing others to be as they are and not try or wish to change them.  Just reading this statement every now and then throughout my day has helped relax me and helped me focus on the only person I have any control over, which is myself.  I know, it sounds selfish or egotistical but I've learned that this is the best thing for everyone around you, to really take care of yourself and shower yourself with as much love as you can give.

3. Affirm.  I think one of the single most helpful ways of moving forward and letting my resilience shine through is by surrounding myself with positive affirming statements and quotes which inspire me to focus on all the wonder and beauty in my life. I have found many moving quotes and affirmations on the Beliefnet website, along with countless tips and strategies for moving past pain and finding balance in your life.  I also enjoy the uplifting messages I receive every morning from the Universe via TUT.  And on my iPhone, I get reminders every morning to read an encouraging and inspiring quote from Karen Salmansohn. After my second mindfulness retreat, I discovered an excellent mindfulness app for my smart phone called The Now and it sends me food for thought and things to try to help me stay in this present moment.  Since I often need constant reminders during busy, stressful times to stay afloat and in a positive light, these have really helped me.

4. Show Gratitude.  Often I see lists that state we must be grateful for all that we have, but I think it is even more effective if we show gratitude to others and to Mother Nature through our actions so we are putting gratitude in action.  Taking action and showing gratitude helps us remember the feeling that the action creates inside us and can help us relax into the present moment and thus feel grateful for all we have.  Also by focusing on all that we have, we draw more positive energy to ourselves. Oprah has written about this many times.  So I would challenge you, if you're already keeping a gratefulness journal to share one of the things you're thankful for with a close friend or someone you love. It could be simply be through offering a helping hand or being a compassionate listener to a friend in need or through a letter or message of thanks to express how thankful you are for having that person in your life.  But I know that sometimes I'm not in the mood to express my gratitude to another person so I think it can be just as valuable to pay homage or reverence to a beautiful tree, a gorgeous sunset, a colorful, cheerful bird, anything in nature that helps you appreciate this amazing planet in which we live.  I have said "hi" to mountains and little animals out in nature since I was a young girl.  At first I thought it was just something quirky that I did but now I know it was my way of paying tribute to nature and really appreciating all the beauty around me.  I have also found it helpful to publicly express my gratitude via social media sites, like Facebook, everyday for a month.  It helps build a habit of looking for something to be grateful for no matter what your day was like and helps shift your focus back to the positive.  Try to make a habit of showing your gratitude for life everyday.  I think it really does help.  (Now I just need to tattoo this to my arm so I never forget!)

I know lists can sometimes be overwhelming or feel like they're not enough to solve all our problems, but I find that coming upon different lists like this in times of struggle really do help me stay focused in the moment and as I continue to grow my knowledge of wellness and self-care, I add a helpful little something to my anti-stress backpack every time.

May we live life with ease.

Peace be with you.