Stress Awareness with Love

Lately it's been increasingly difficult to stay grounded and manage the stresses of life. I think a great deal of the stress I'm feeling is from the collective--the high levels of anxiety this political year has brought. And as we are expecting a baby later this year, I also have newfound concerns--first to not let the stress consume me because I know it's not healthy for the baby or for me, and second how safe will this world be for our baby. 

I really feel that one of the most powerful things we can do in any trying time is to do our best to shine our loving light bright into the world. So that involves some filtering of news for me. If it's going to get me hyped up and angry, and I'm already tired of feeling particularly ungrounded, then maybe it's not the best time to read about or hear those news or stories. Not that they don't matter but in order for my light to continue to shine bright to bring hope to others, feeling grounded and peaceful is key.

I've also felt more annoyed lately than I normally feel, and I know in part it's a result of the baby making hormones, but I also like to reflect on how or whatever or whoever is bothering me is shining a light on a part of myself that I find annoying or that I'm not comfortable or that pleased with. A good dose of self-love and compassion can really help remedy this, but also the sheer awareness that it might not really be about the other person or event that is annoying. Everyone serves as our guides and teachers if we choose to see them from that light.

Much more reflective work needs to be done before many of us can figure out what certain presidential candidates are here to teach us, but I think we can begin by practicing on smaller annoyances or things that rub us wrong. Because through practice and greater awareness, many “ah ha”s are released and we’ll receive the answers we may have forgotten that we asked.

Life is truly about increasing our awareness and our ability to give and receive love.

What do you think?

Nestling into Fall and Dreaming Bite-Sized

I had the same amount of things to do today than I did last week and yet I didn't feel overwhelmed and I got stuff done. 

Overwhelm is a visitor that has paid me plenty of visits in this life. And as I begin to almost befriend it or take time to learn from it, I realize that when I let the overwhelm rain all over me, I don't get much done. It seems to paralyze me and thus more overwhelm comes.

On the other hand, after taking some time over the weekend to rest--and let's be honest, I even felt a little overwhelmed with personal and household projects--something shifted today and my focus was no longer on Ms. Overwhelm overstaying her visit, it was instead on slowly getting sh...stuff done. 

I know this. I've been coached around this and I myself have coached others on this very topic. It's what I preach--that if you break a big project down into smaller more bite-sized tasks, you'll first of all feel more successful because you've finally gotten something done on the path towards your goals, and you won't be overwhelmed with the sometimes enormity of your dreams. 

I dream big. And I also dream bite-sized.

Another topic that is related to overwhelm that I've been reading about for awhile now is being a highly sensitive person or HSP. Yes, I am an HSP. I believe deep down that we all are, but I have been blessed with hypersensitivity from the get-go. And with this gift comes overwhelm at times, from things that people who aren't as in tune yet with their sensitivity might not have ever imagined. They may at some point though experience flashes of it, especially when they're extremely vulnerable, such as in grieving times or times of illness. 

I, on the other hand, feel overwhelmed by sounds or noise, social interaction without quiet breaks to recover, or the TV or the radio. I'm more resilient and can bounce back quite quickly when I'm fully grounded and have taken time for me on a regular basis. If I take time to slow to my preferred pace, if I take time to do the things I really enjoy like being creative or outside in nature, if I take time to refuel my energy through quiet reflection time, then I don't feel as overwhelmed. 

I think these resilience building activities can help with any kind of overwhelm actually.

It's getting to the point when you stop embodying the overwhelm and instead start taking it one small bite at a time. That takes time and practice. And greater awareness helps the process even more.

My Journey of Awareness

I would like to share some thoughts from my emotional awareness journey. It's been a long road and there is a long road ahead as well; I believe this is a lifelong journey, but in beginning to learn to accept all of the emotions that I experience, little flowers begin to pop up along the road, the views become more beautiful, and I start to enjoy the adventurous curves and bumps in my unique journey. 

Plain and simple – when I begin to feel grumpy, I now know I need to take a break from what I’m doing.

When I’m feeling anxious or afraid, I need to take deep breaths and try to expand the feelings I’m experiencing into a big bubble until I can lightly touch it and pop! The feelings have been freed. I'm thankful for this visual from the Sedona Method.

When I’m feeling disappointed or misunderstood, I need to make quality time for myself to do loving, compassionate, self-caring, and creative activities to feel more appreciated and understood.

When I’m feeling frustrated or pressured, I need to take a break and meditate on how big the Universe is and how vast Love is too, in order to put everything back into perspective.

When I’m feeling perfectionistic or down about something I could have done better, I need to recognize all the things I do well and enjoy doing.  Maybe even get out a brag book of positive feedback about myself from others for moments of self-criticism and low self-esteem.

When I begin to feel down and feel the spiral of catastrophizing beginning, I need to take a few moments, or maybe even an hour sometimes, to reflect on all that I am grateful for in this Life and watch a funny video or show, read an uplifting story, eat some mangos, go for a walk outside, or belly dance, to refocus my energy on all the miraculous positives of my Life.

What do you do to recognize, honor and learn from different emotions that visit you?

 

Beware: Relapses of Perfectionism May Occur

I had been rather proud of my "recovering perfectionist" self-identified status until recently when I was preparing to give a workshop and felt like I wouldn't be able to do my best job because of limited time and not wanting to let anyone down. I became extremely pessimistic and felt like I would fail. Well, that was the perfectionism rearing its ugly head. Nothing else. I did just fine, got lots of positive feedback and I feel good now about the work I did to prepare for these two recent workshops. So in all honesty I was completely off base when that darned perfectionism relapsed before each workshop. And here I had thought that I was pretty much cured, viewed myself as so much farther along in "perfectionism remission" than other perfectionists I saw. While all along my perfectionism still flares up, like a chronic ache of pain, plaguing my world view and logical thinking, filling me with fear. It would be best to not be so cocky about this from now on. Being a recovering perfectionist is not something to take for granted, I've learned.  It’s hard work and constant work to be ahead of your perfectionism.

Oh, and that fear thing. I've read a lot about fear lately but don't always relate to the specific term “fear,”--well, better put, I feel some resistance inside to the term--but when you put it in the context of perfectionism, the fear of not being perfect is very real and relatable. I don't think I'd realized how much this fear still controls me, or tries to control me. Luckily I think that once we become aware of what is happening inside us, we come from a place of strength and have the power to effect change in that moment then. We are empowered. When I am in this healthy state of mind once again, I think and see myself and my reality more clearly and can talk myself down from irrational thinking and remind myself of what I do well and that I always do my best.  I’m no longer controlled by that nagging voice that visits from time to time when I’m not paying attention, when I’m not aware, when I’ve let my guard down.  But we need to constantly maintain that awareness or else, beware: relapses of perfectionism may occur.