Angels All Around

I want to write a quick blog tonight to thank my devoted angels for protecting our baby girl and me yesterday. I was on my way to work like every morning, waiting at a stoplight when boom, I heard a loud noise and everything in my car lurched forward! Someone had just rear ended me. Because I was at a stoplight, thankfully it was at a low speed. But I immediately went into Mommy Mode and held my belly, praying our baby wasn't injured. I didn't feel any pain myself, only concern for my little miracle growing inside. After exchanging information with the guy who hit me, I called my husband and while on the phone felt the wonderful gentle kicks and pokes of our baby girl! Qué alivio! What a relief! She's moving! We still decided to call our midwife who recommended going to the ER to make sure the baby and her placenta were okay. 

We spent 3+ hours in the hospital and I signed the first paperwork as a parent, giving consent to monitor the baby's heartbeat and activity. The nurses were impressed that at only 24 weeks they could hear her heartbeat so clearly. She moved around a lot too which made me feel even more relieved. After monitoring for over an hour, they sent us home to rest. Only after getting home did I really start feeling sore but with a very grateful heart that our baby girl is healthy song wasn't affected by the accident. 

Our angels were truly watching over us and lessening the impact of the crash with their gentle wings. I know not everyone believes in angels but I have had them with me making sure I'm safe my whole life. I believe that my grandparents who I never had the opportunity to meet because they passed in a tragic car accident when my mom was only 16 are always with me. And in the past 5 years I have gained more angels. 4 close friends and my other grandma on my dad's side. I know in my heart that they are with me still, just in a different form. I consistently see hummingbirds, which are symbols from the after life, along with feathers and pennies appearing out of nowhere. I also notice when it's 11:11 and see these numbers frequently, which are said to be signs from the angels as well. 

So this post is dedicated to my angels and my baby's angels. We are forever grateful. Thank you for watching over us and softening the impact of the crash yesterday. And for all you do that we aren't even aware of yet. :)

I trust life because I know angels are real.

 

 

 

Grumpiness Hacks

On this lovely Friday afternoon, I'm feeling kind of grumpy. I know. I had to admit it but it's how I feel, and as a student of mindfulness, I've learned to acknowledge and accept all my feelings, even when they're not that pretty. My feet are swollen. My shoulder aches. Other than that, I don't have any physical complaints and I'm happily and gratefully almost 24 weeks pregnant with our first child, a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Just thinking about her cheers me up...which leads me to the title of this blog post: Grumpiness Hacks.

How do you pull yourself out of a grumpy mood? Do you just wait it out? Do you let it fester? Do you think of nice things that bring you joy? Do you go for a walk?

There are many things we can do to not feel grumpy, but my thoughts and intuition come back to what I first mentioned: mindfulness. Mindfulness teaches us that avoiding or putting a bandage over our hurts or irritations isn't actually very helpful. It just prolongs the effect. Or it can make us feel like we're denying a part of ourselves. Which may manifest as frustration or anger if we're not aware of what's going on inside ourselves. And frustration and anger lead to--you named it--more grumpiness.

So I'm steering clear of avoidance and ignoring my grumpiness. Instead I'm writing it out. That's one grumpiness hack that might work for some of you. Letting your creative juices flow in a constructive way--like with a purpose--can really shift your perspective and energy and before long, you may feel some relief from the grumpy cloud overhead.

I also plan to dance it out a little later. I haven't feel like I've been moving enough lately and when I don't move my energy around, I can feel stuck and stiff, which both can lead to grumpiness too. Moving my body to music or to the sway of the trees in the wind or to my own breath can do wonders for my mood, spirit and energy. I get back into the flow of life. I no longer feel stagnant, because I'm physically moving forward. :)

Spending time with funny people helps too, I think. If you can be in the presence of someone who genuinely makes you laugh (watching a funny video may help too but being in the same room with someone or over the phone--live--tends to bring that person's positive energy more quickly to you), the grumpy cloud will most likely shift too. It just depends on your sense of humor and if the kind of funny the person is being is medicine to your ears or if it's just making you feel more grumpy, which can happen.

In that case, taking your shoes off and walking outside in the grass or sand may really help. It brings us back to the earth and we simply walk the grumpiness down into the ground. The earth can handle it--it's okay.

Or if that's not possible, being around cute animals or cute little kids (depending on your personality preferences) can work wonders as well. The bubbly energy of a baby or laughing little one changes our perspective and reminds of our joy. The joy we hold inside always. Animals have an innocence about them (unless they are being sneaky or getting into mischief, that is) that also reminds us of the simple joys in life. A cat purring or a dog's waggy tail can perk you up very quickly, if you pay attention.

There comes the mindfulness again. Paying attention. Really if you have a moment to pay attention to yourself, to your needs, to your dreams, to your breath, then the grumpiness you've been feeling may start pealing away.

And what are you left with after you peal away the grumpiness? Yourself.

Your true self.

Which is made of stardust and sparkles, which exude joy.

And love.

There, I feel a little better already! :-)

Creative Stress Management--The Class

This coming Sunday I'll be facilitating a class on creative stress management, a topic that has been near and dear to my heart for many years. Through trial and error and working in social services, giving my heart and energy to others, I realized that I needed to focus more on managing stress and developing wellness practices. Through many years of research and a passion for shining light on others' creativity, I've developed a class that I'm happy to present to the world this Sunday.

Nearly two years ago in 2014, I facilitated my first official workshop on creative stress management through collage for a professional development day at Edmonds Community College, where I then worked. I provided blank notebooks and each participant used the cover page as the backing for their collage. They were instructed to rip or cut out any images or words that spoke to them. They could then use the notebooks later to record their dreams and goals or for anything they liked. There were no other rules. They were the bosses, and they loved it! And I fell in love! I realized quickly that this is something I want to share with more people and at the same time, something that puts me in my own creative flow.

Several months later, I had the opportunity to combine mindful breathing with collage at another professional development day but this time at Bellevue College. I absolutely loved seeing the relaxation on participants' faces and in their shoulders as they followed a simple breathing exercise. Our collages that day also focused on specifically on work-life balance.

Then last summer in 2015, I had the opportunity to lead another mindful breathing exercise and collage session for a wellness challenge at Lake Washington Institute of Technology. Again, the experience reaffirmed my passion for helping others feel stress relief and move towards a greater level of well-being. And people began to request more opportunities to rip and tear inspirational images and words from magazines and flyers to create their own unique visual oasis! I offered 3 more sessions--one focusing on goal setting, another on our personal missions, and the latest session with a group of early childhood education employees on a professional development day.

In addition to workplace creative stress management, I've hosted several collage parties for friends over the past several years as well, at first to try out my ideas and make sure they flowed well and then to continue spreading the creative stress management love. And it's more fun to create and inspire when you're in the company of friends!

With that said, I also enjoy creating when watching TV, when I want to refocus on my wellness and goals, when I'm just hanging out, when I feel inspired, so since I created my collage notebook two years ago, I have filled the pages of the notebook with mini-wellness collages. It's now one of my prized possessions. Think vision boards, but in miniature and mobile form. I can take the notebook anywhere or turn to a particular page and focus on it to feel a renewal of inspiration.

As you can tell, I'm wild about creative stress management and I can't wait to share it with more people. If you're interested in attending my upcoming class on May 1st, please send me an email at: maret.carrillo@gmail.com. More information is below or you can visit: www.facebook.com/owningyourgoodness. (You can pay the supplies fee when you arrive on Sunday.)  Looking forward to creating greater wellness with you!

Ecua-Gring@ Miracles

Four more months to motherhood—only 20 or so more weeks before we get to meet our little ecua-gring@! Wow! It’s hard to believe that I’m already 20 weeks along! But then again, we’ve done so much in the last 5 months. Picture this: just 5 months ago, my husband and I were visiting the magical coastal village of Canoa in Ecuador while on vacation. There was a soft breeze, beautiful waves, warm sand under our toes, great people all around, a sense of peace that came over us in this magical place on Earth.

Tragically this past Saturday Canoa and many other coastal villages and towns in Northern and central Ecuador were destroyed after a 7.8 earthquake hit. Over 500 didn’t survive. Hundreds are still missing. Many more are injured and even more have lost their homes and businesses. Hundreds of aftershocks have occurred in the same area since Saturday and one early this morning was 6.2 on the Richter scale! We pray the rescuers can find more survivors today and that the aftershocks finally stop. I just can’t imagine the terror and trauma the survivors are living right now. It has been an extremely emotional week, to say the least.

One uplifting thing though, despite all the devastation and tragedy, is seeing how the Ecuadorian people have united to support the affected areas. Lines of people in the major cities form to provide donated items and caravans of donations are on their way to the Manabi and Esmeraldas provinces, which were most hardly hit by the earthquake. The Ecuadorian community abroad where I live in the Seattle area have come together quickly to put together a fundraising event this Sunday so all the proceeds can go to helping the victims of this tragic natural disaster recover and rebuild their lives.

Blogs and articles have been written about donation sites for those who are far away and still want to help. I know it’s still not enough because the damage is so massive, but it does fill me with a little more optimism and hope for the future for everyone affected by this disaster.

And this very same week on the homefront, our baby has started to tap! I wouldn’t call it a kick or jab yet, but just two nights ago I started feeling a tap-tap from inside, especially after eating something sweet. I know the baby has been moving all around for awhile now but he or she is finally big enough to tap me! Our little ecua-gring@. And tomorrow we get to see our baby on the ultrasound to make sure everything is developing well and to find out the gender!

So many different kinds of emotions, and add pregnancy hormones to the mix and you have one weepy mama here. And on top of it all, the many things I have been meaning to start doing during my pregnancy are starting to catch up with me—prenatal yoga, reading all those great holistic pregnancy books, reading more about bilingualism and child development, learning more lullabies, taking birthing classes, preparing for my maternity leave at work, going on more romantic dates with my hubby, organizing the house, starting my coaching business—eek! And all this is supposed to take place in the next 3.5 months—holy cow! That’s not that much time, is it? It’s amazing how fast 40 weeks can go by. Truly it is! It also helps me think about prioritizing because that is A LOT to try to get done in such a short amount of time when I’m also working full time, when we have a busy social and family schedule, when I’m offering my first stress management class in the community on May 1^st, when we’ve had visitors from Ecuador and New York over the past month, when we sometimes just want to (and need to) rest and relax and have a little fun. So staying realistic about how much I truly expect myself to accomplish while I only have a little over a month left in the 2^nd trimester and then the 3^rd trimester begins! Wow! It’s all very exciting though!

It’s really hard to describe the vast range of emotions I’ve felt this week—the roller coaster of fear, despair, horror, sadness with the news of the earthquake in Ecuador, and then hope and gratitude for all the support of the victims, and love and excitement filling my heart for the new life developing inside me. Wow. This is life, huh? The full range of it. The good, bad, ugly, beautiful, and miraculous parts of life.

Click here for more information about my upcoming class on creative stress management.

Stress Awareness with Love

Lately it's been increasingly difficult to stay grounded and manage the stresses of life. I think a great deal of the stress I'm feeling is from the collective--the high levels of anxiety this political year has brought. And as we are expecting a baby later this year, I also have newfound concerns--first to not let the stress consume me because I know it's not healthy for the baby or for me, and second how safe will this world be for our baby. 

I really feel that one of the most powerful things we can do in any trying time is to do our best to shine our loving light bright into the world. So that involves some filtering of news for me. If it's going to get me hyped up and angry, and I'm already tired of feeling particularly ungrounded, then maybe it's not the best time to read about or hear those news or stories. Not that they don't matter but in order for my light to continue to shine bright to bring hope to others, feeling grounded and peaceful is key.

I've also felt more annoyed lately than I normally feel, and I know in part it's a result of the baby making hormones, but I also like to reflect on how or whatever or whoever is bothering me is shining a light on a part of myself that I find annoying or that I'm not comfortable or that pleased with. A good dose of self-love and compassion can really help remedy this, but also the sheer awareness that it might not really be about the other person or event that is annoying. Everyone serves as our guides and teachers if we choose to see them from that light.

Much more reflective work needs to be done before many of us can figure out what certain presidential candidates are here to teach us, but I think we can begin by practicing on smaller annoyances or things that rub us wrong. Because through practice and greater awareness, many “ah ha”s are released and we’ll receive the answers we may have forgotten that we asked.

Life is truly about increasing our awareness and our ability to give and receive love.

What do you think?

Leaping Forward on Leap Day

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.” ~Mary Ann Radmacher

Today is February 29^th. It feels kind of funny—and fun to write that because it’s not a common day, is it? I was just thinking about it actually and we won’t have this day again until 2020. Wow. Think about that for a bit. What do you think you’ll be doing on February 29^th, 2020? How will your life be different? How will it be similar? Who will you be spending your day with then? Maybe that’s why it’s called Leap Year. Because we can take a leap into the future (and past if we choose) and imagine all we’ll accomplish in the next four years. All the adventures we’ll go on. All the love we’ll give. 

Sometimes it’s helpful to look back as well, but only in reflection upon the lessons we’ve learned, I think, and on how far we’ve come. What were you doing on February 29^th, 2012? I love numbers and dates so I’m pretty sure I celebrated in some way, but I don’t remember many specifics from that day. I do know I had just had my first surgery ever four years ago this month. And it pretty much confirmed that I had a rare condition called the Nutcracker Syndrome, in which my left renal vein was trapped or smooshed by my aorta and superior mesenteric artery, causing the blood to flow from my kidney in a different direction towards my left ovary, creating internal varicose veins which when swollen caused achy pain and during certain times of the month, excruciating pain. I’m very grateful to say that four years later, my renal vein is flowing properly now, the varicose veins are not causing hardly any discomfort, and I’m 13 weeks pregnant! An amazing little miracle is growing inside me and that wonderful little being will be 3 and a half years old next time we have a February 29^th and celebrate Leap Day!

Do you do anything special on Leap Day or during Leap Year? If not, would you like to start a new tradition? It seems like a good time to reflect on our journey in this beautiful life and to envision what the future may hold for us. It’s also a great time to start taking consistent baby steps towards reaching those goals and dreams of yours. You don’t have to wait until New Year’s to do so. Or if you had a plan that you began on January 1^st and it’s been hard to keep, now is as good of a time as any to reevaluate why that plan may have been difficult to maintain and adjust and start again. 

What’s one way you can create a new positive habit today that will get you one step closer to your dreams? Because once it becomes a habit, each day you will take one more step and before you know it, you’ll be creating new dreams or adding to your current dream. And when you look back to reflect on those steps, you’ll be in awe of all you’ve accomplished because you took that one step today on February 29^th. Let me know how it goes. :-)

Befriending Stress

I’ve started to grow tired of hearing or reading over and over again about “avoiding stress” or “combating stress.”  Do we really have to be at battle or go to war with a natural process? I know some forms of stress don’t feel very good in the moment, but I don’t think it’s actually the stress itself that is the issue. It’s how we react and respond to the stressors. So instead of avoiding or combating, wouldn’t it be more effective to actually befriend it and show it compassion so that responding--instead of reacting--can be made easier? Wouldn’t you rather respond gently to a friend than react violently to an enemy? Which do you think is better for your overall health? I’m thinking friendly interactions feel better and thus are better for us. And if stress is such a common phenomenon that we really deal with every day, wouldn’t it be more helpful and beneficial to our overall well-being to learn how to interact with it, rather than avoid it or fight it all the time? I’m tired of fighting it. I surrender. Now I want to befriend it and show it compassion like I would a friend. Because it’s a real part of our lives and as I learn how to respond gently to stress, won’t I feel lighter and more peaceful and gentle myself?

But I consider myself a grass-roots, down-to-earth kind of person and I want some really practical ways to “befriend” our stress.  It’s easy enough to say or write it down, but how do we actually do it? I believe for any positive change to take place, we must come from a grounded space, well-rested and settled into our center--our core, through deep breathing, mindful awareness of everyday activities, taking our sweet time and not rushing, and through relishing in what we love and giving ourselves the gift of time to do what we love. And if we’re feeling uninspired to do what we love, it’s probably time for more rest and especially time for greater self-compassion, because one of the greatest gifts we gain from doing what we love is making time for us. Yes, US! (I know, hard to believe, huh?) I know it might feel like there isn’t enough time--trust me, I feel this way a lot too--but I have to consistently remind myself that we make time for what we love, we don’t necessarily HAVE time for all we love. 

So instead of doing something that’s not necessary and that we don’t really love, why not redirect our focus and our time to doing something that enlivens us and fills us with inspired passion, joy and energy for life?  One big time sucker is social media. I really do believe that feeling that social connection with our friends and family who we don’t get to see regularly can help cultivate deeper relationships, but I also believe that we enter a kind of time warp when we're on social media where time flies by and before we know it, we’ve spent an hour reading random posts that don’t have much to do with our life mission or our passion or even our close family and friends’ updates. At the same time though, I can see the therapeutic value to watching funny videos or seeing cute photos because it gets us out of our head and worries and we de-stress through laughter. But everything is better with moderation. I’m seriously considering setting the timer on my smart phone before I enter a social media site and when I hear the timer go off after a predetermined amount of time, then I can reevaluate if this is really how I want to spend another 15 minutes of my precious free time. And if it isn’t, then there’s a wonderful opportunity to put down the phone and do something creative.

I feel very fortunate to have been introduced to the Fun-A-Day Challenge 2 years ago this month. Through this challenge, I vowed to have fun creating something new each day of the sometimes dreary month of January. And through a group on social media dedicated to “Fun-A-Day” (see, there are multiple benefits indeed...befriend your social media as well, just don’t let it control all your time!) I had one of my first tastes of forming a daily practice and of having accountability partners that awaited my post each day and in turn which motivated me to follow through and fulfill my vow to have fun each day. :-) The sweet taste of a daily practice expanded beyond the month of January and I decided to post something each day that year, in 2014. (You can see links to each of my monthly intentions with corresponding daily posts from 2014 on the left-hand side of this page.) And I think this was a real turning point in my life and in my wellness-focused studies, because I was finally dedicating time each day to what I had studied and read about for years before, what I was so desperately seeking in a well-balanced life was finally coming to fruition through the gift of daily practice. I highly recommend it to anyone feeling stuck or wanting to finally take that next step in their life towards their big dreams.

So maybe that’s my answer to a grass-roots, more down-to-earth way to befriend stress: create a daily practice--if anything, a practice of daily self-kindness, of making time for yourself to do something that inspires you or lights you up, fills you with energy and makes you feel more alive.  Because with that increased energy and inspiration, stress may no longer look like an enemy which can help us shift our perspective and way we view stress. After all, stress may actually be set up to remind us to slow down, take better care of ourselves, ground ourselves through deep breathing, increase our mindful awareness, and make time for what we love. That does sound more like a friend now, huh?

Would you ever consider making friends with your stress? How would you go about it? I'd love to hear from you! Email me at: maritakane@gmail.com or connect with me on Facebook. :-)

With love and gratitude,
Marita

Stay tuned for Marita's coaching and workshop debut!