Blogging From The Beach

This last year has been quite a year for changes. I changed jobs twice, my mom had a serious medical emergency, we moved again, we lost a dear friend to cancer, and I became certified as a life coach. Many ups and downs but a lot of lessons learned about resilience and perseverance. Patience and trusting. 

These past few months--really this past year--I haven't been as dedicated to my writing. Sometimes I think I might even be blocked. Creativity has flown in other ways though, through collage and photography mainly. I also miss creative movement. But I have done a lot of nature walking. 

Survival mode only gets you so far, and then you have to take time to regroup and focus on thriving again. So this afternoon I'm revisiting one of my favorite sights by the sea. Where I began my journey into blogging about wellness 2 years ago this very month.

In celebration of these past two years, I know I must be gentle with myself for all the beautiful and challenging changes in my life. I trust that as I bounce back from each change, my rebound grows even stronger and quicker and I can get back to feeling grateful for being alive.

And I pray that through this gratitude for life, my faith in my own inner-resilience will expand and blossom. As will my ability to trust in the inherent goodness of this amazing universe.

In a way, our day-to-day lives are like looking through a rolled up piece of paper and only seeing a very tiny piece of the greater, more expansive universe that makes up our lives. And at the same time, we can experience the most awe-inspiring beauty in that tiny piece which is our right-here-right-now moment that we're living in. Of course not all moments will be filled with that much wonder and beauty but the more we accumulate and take notice of, the better and more joyful we'll feel. 

You can almost imagine those art posters that were popular awhile back that were actually made up of very tiny pictures which created a beautiful larger picture as your view got wider. That's kind of like our lives, huh? I trust that the bigger, more expansive and beautiful picture is truly made up of these tiny beautiful and resilient/challenging moments that make up our lives. It helps put things in perspective and also helps give meaning to the everyday moments we live each day. Every moment matters and forms a tiny part of the greater picture of our lives. Even the ugly moments matter. They may not feel very pretty right now but with a little distance, they'll help form the most amazing image. No judgment, just tiny pieces of our painting that we call life. 

I Welcome Big Miracles Here and Now!

I'm tired of the thought pattern we're ingrained with about not deserving something horrible that happens to us or "deserving more." It's not a question of deserving. I don't believe anyone deserves pain or suffering. So when I hear myself asking why or how someone could deserve such an awful thing to happen to them, I need to stop and become aware that that thought doesn't serve me or anyone. Does that thought lift me up? Does it bring joy? Does it help anyone? No. It's not a question of asking why. I'm not even sure it's a question.

My dear friend, Jill, was so vibrant and joyous, so loving and with so much to share and teach others, so very full of life--the complete opposite of fatal brain cancer. It's incomprehensible that my buen amigo, Christian, whose laughter made everyone feel joyful around him, could die of stomach cancer in less than six short months. And my wonderful, devoted, fun-loving mom lost her own dear parents at the tender age of 16, was then cheated on and left with a rundown house and 5-year-old daughter to raise, and now has been put through such horrible suffering from a brain bleed last August, which is thought to have originated at the time of the car accident which killed her parents.

How do we make sense of these events? Or do we even try? What good comes to us or anyone when we struggle to "make sense" of incomprehensible suffering? I think the true answer lies in getting out of our heads and sinking into our bodies and opening up our hearts to find peace in our souls with what's happened. To cultivate faith continually through centering ourselves to the earth and giving thanks for even the simplest beauty we have been graced to witness during this life--the full moon, the blooming daffodils, the green grass, the giant all-knowing redwoods, ripe sweet fruit, purring kittens, and as Julie Andrews would sing, "raindrops on roses," to name just a few.

When we can get back into our bodies and out of our analyzing heads, I believe then we will begin to feel greater peace. It might not answer our mind's nagging questions, but it will bring openness back to our hearts and hopefully with practice through that openness, a growing connection to our souls where we can trust in a greater knowing, from within, from God, from the Universe, from our ancestors, from the angels, from the Divine, from positivity, from altruism, from your God of understanding, from your spiritual practice. Opening our hearts, when all we want to do is hunker down and close up shop, is in and of itself a daily spiritual practice that develops and tones our trust muscles. And the key ingredient is self-compassion. Gently returning to this practice when we go astray and not judging ourselves or others when this happens.

I welcome big miracles here and now!

Remembering to Go To My Other Job Too--My Passion Project

I quickly sent an email to myself today and saw the little blurb at the bottom of the email that I created at the beginning of the year to really identify what I do with not only my paid profession but also my passion project, my purpose. I put: Certified Dependable Strengths Instructor, Creative Stress Management Blogger, and then my paid profession as an advisor-pre-college basic skills advisor earlier this year and now a college advisor for parents receiving cash assistance from the government.

Just being reminded of my forward thinking from earlier this year in naming what I really want to be "when I grow up," what I want to do much more of eventually, really helped me begin to detangle the funk I've been feeling over the last few months. I haven't been showing up for my passion jobs. I've been absent and I haven't been paying myself with the gift of balance and peace and inspiration that comes with following your dreams and making them actively happen, whether you get paid yet or not. 

I don't have to wait for some day, I want to lay the groundwork and get started now. And I have. I began doing this last summer when I started writing here regularly. Committing to bringing you a new blog post every week. Well, the past several months I have taken family leave to care for my wonderful and inspiring mom, who has always encouraged me to be creative. I am grateful beyond what words can express for her recovery and healing. 

As she moves forward, so must I. I know what I need and want to do next too. I want to submit some of my blogs to more well-known blogs to see if I can be a guest blogger. I intend to create the curriculum and pilot a workshop combing my love of collaging with the Dependable Strengths identification process. I am signed up for a 100-hour life coach training course to start in January. And I just registered for Brene Brown's e-course on art journaling based on her insightful book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

I used to view these ideas or projects or extracurricular activities of mine as mere hobbies, but now I see that they are part of both my personal AND professional development plan. They help shape me as a person, a writer, a creator, a facilitator, a coach, and someday soon I hope and pray as a mom--the most important profession I'll ever have.

So if you've been toying with an idea for awhile and don't know quite how to get started or take the leap, start by naming it. And identifying yourself with this dream, as if you're already doing it. The universe will respond in incredible ways and before you know it, you'll be already doing more of what you love. And that's what it's all about.