Lessons From Life Coaching

Last month I began a course to become a transformational life coach. Without even knowing, I have been preparing for this for over 7 years. I have researched almost all there is to research about stress management, at first in an attempt to gain more inner peace and balance in my life and then metamorphosing into a passion to cultivate greater wellness in my life and in the lives of others. Through my readings and reflections, I have discovered that stress is quite possibly the number one joy killer in society today. But then again it isn't about stress being bad and joy being good, it goes much deeper than that. It's about releasing the need to control everything and leaning into life and trusting that everything is here to serve us. It's just not always easy to see how sometimes.

Through my adventures in researching everything I could get my hands on about wellness and managing stress, I have slowly gained insight into my own inner struggles and inner strengths, and through that insight, I've gained awareness of my own inner workings, which is the key to transforming anything. Without the ability to see from a little distance with some clarity how I tick, I can't begin to even imagine what steps I could start taking to feel more at peace.

Now after seven years, I'm beginning to grow some fruit from my research and put what I've learned in real action through coaching. I think starting to write regularly on my blog a year and a half ago and naming that I'm a creative wellness & stress management blogger/consultant/coach in training on sites like LinkedIn represented big steps in my journey to put my passion for researching wellness into action and into real baby steps to greater over wellness for myself and to following my dream of making my own schedule and helping motivate and empower others to find their wellness as well.

As I practice different coaching techniques with wonderful and willing guinea pig friends of mine--thank you so much for your support!--I am also practicing the techniques with myself, as I see myself through the mirror of coaching. And I am beginning to acknowledge the little and big steps I've been taking towards living my dreams. It's also building my confidence to hear feedback from others and learn how others really see me--as a capable and compassionate coach. Recognizing the huge disparity in how classmates and friends see me with how I sometimes see myself has been very eye-opening. And as I continue to build my self-compassion muscles, I strive to see myself more and more through the eyes of a loving friend.

Learning about coaching is also like a permission slip to ask myself the big, hairy questions that are normally ignored or brushed under the rug because they're just too big or that we don't feel capable of achieving due to their enormous size. Coaching is asking those big and powerful questions, and through asking others and seeing their positive responses as a result, I feel more compelled to keep asking myself big questions too and write and reflect and talk about them more. Through sharing we can really gain creative momentum and through that we receive support and encouragement which builds up our confidence and believability. Because what we believe is possible can be directly reflected in how and what we experience in life.

So I leave you with one of those big, hairy questions written by Emma-Louise Elsey:

If you were to FULLY live your life, what is the first change you would start to make?

A Strengths-Based Approach to Life

My mind has just been brimming with ideas of different possible applications for what I learned last week at a very inspiring and thought-provoking training called Dependable Strengths.  What are Dependable Strengths, you might ask?  Well, I think the definition may be a little different for everyone who experiences this training.  For me, the essence of the Dependable Strengths Articulation Process, which was created by the late Bernard Haldane back in 1945 after World War II, involves a group of individuals who share positive life experiences with one another and through this purposeful storytelling, begin to identify and uncover the inner talents and gifts that lie within each of us.  This process has been used with job-seekers, veterans, alumni, the elderly, church members, elementary-aged children, middle schoolers, high schoolers, and college students, but I think the sky is truly the limit!  Through the careful discovery of our natural talents, we can then propel ourselves into a life that we long for, a life of fulfillment, a life of purpose.  It’s really a completely different mindset to live by.  Seeing yourself from a point of strength--multiple points of strength actually, you begin to see others from their points of strengths as well.  It helps build patience and understanding. Community. 

At a more personal level, I feel like I had to really work to uncover and reclaim some of my natural strengths, because we sometimes try to hide or deny our true talents as a result of painful events or criticism.  But once we can really own our true, authentic self again and believe in our talents and strengths, we can then begin to help others uncover their innate strengths as well.  That is one of my visions.  In order to heal old wounds, we must stir them up a bit so they can resurface and then be freed.  This process has definitely been a healing one for me, and I believe it can help others in this way too.  

Stay tuned for more. My creative waves are flowing freely once again and I'm plotting my next move. I hope to share the gift of this incredible experience with others very soon.